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Hey everyone...I know it's been a while since I posted. Simba, my 12 month old golden mix, had his front right leg amputated on April 4th, 2013, which was his very 1st birthday as well. It was all very bittersweet but Simba did great after surgery, exactly as I expected. But I wanted to give an update here in addition to the one I posted on Facebook.
Contrary to what I originally planned, we decided to do chemo. His first round of carbo was last Thursday April 25. However the night before Simba got very lethargic and was walking differently. We caught his OSA very early originally because I noticed something most people wouldn't. And I just got one of those "feelings" again. The next morning when we arrived for chemo I wanted to do X-rays, but my oncologist practically swore to me it wasn't the cancer because in all his career he had never seen it spread that fast. So I decided to trust him, we did the chemo, and Simba did really well. But he started coughing sometimes when he got excited, so yesterday I decided to do chest rads at work just to make sure and well....against all odds, the cancer is in his lungs.
We were shocked. Just shocked because 3 weeks ago chest rads were completely clean. That means it's spreading unimaginably fast. I was angry at the oncologist, although I know he was just trying to reassure me. If we had done X-rays though I wouldn't have done the chemo. Now it's hard for me to tell if he's acting the way he is because of the chemo or the cancer or him just generally being tired from playing the last couple days.
I hate this...I hate knowing what's ahead but not knowing when. Knowing how bad things are going to get for him. My parents watch him during the day and they just texted me to tell me Simba is still doing his "excited cough" sometimes. Every little thing worries me. It's just not fair to him. He's a baby and he deserves so much more of a life. I'm trying not to be frustrated though and just appreciate the time we have but it's hard. I know that I will know when "the time" comes...but I'm scared...I don't know what to look for besides no appetite since the chemo is still affecting him, so I can't just base it on lethargy. I can't believe things are going to get so bad that I will have to make that decision for my baby. I just pray I will have wisdom and strength in the coming days because right now it just looks dark, cold and unbearable.......
I am so sorry to read this post 
This stupid stupid disease is just not fair. It shouldn't happen to any animal, let alone a baby like Simba. I wish I had the right words for you, but all I can say is stay strong. I've only been around this website for 5 months now and read about so many pups that have done well long after finding lung mets.
Sending you lots of hugs and strength,
Erica
Jill is a 9-year-old tuxedo kitty. She was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma in June 2012 on her toe in her right hind leg. Her leg was amputated on 12/12/12 and she completed four rounds of chemo (2 of Carbo, 2 of Doxy) in April 2013. "Like" Jill's facebook page: https://www.fac.....tty?ref=hl Proud member of the WINTER WARRIORS!!!! Her blog can be read at http://jillsjou.....ipawds.com. xoxo
I'm so sorry that this is happening to your baby
Sending you comfort and strength.
Mica
simbasmom17 said
...I don't know what to look for...
We can totally relate. That's why we wrote about it when Jerry's mets started seriously affecting his quality of life.
What to expect next …
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
I'm so sorry. You're right, it's not fair.
Liberty (Libby) was diagnosed with OSA on 1-22-13. Right front amputation on 1-31-13. No IV Chemo. Metronomic Therapy started 2-19-13 along with supplements and some home cooking. Lungs clear until 1-06-14. She's still her happy, hoppy, bossy self. Living the dog life to the fullest and a proud Winter Warrior. :) RIP my Libby 4-21-03 to 3-19-14
I am so very sorry. Cancer plays by it's own rules which suck.
Try to put the fear away. Talk with your oncologist about what the options are now that the game has changed, whether you try metronomics or not. Quality of life is what counts. I wish there was more I could say to make it better.
Many hugs
Karen and Spirit Magnum
Magnum: 30th May 2002 to 5th May 2012. Lost her back left leg to osteosarcoma on 5th Sep 2011. Lung mets found on 20th Mar 2012 but it was bone mets in the hip that ended her brave battle. Magnum's motto - "Dream as if you'll live for ever, live as if you'll die today" (James Dean). Loyal, loving, courageous and spirited to the end. My beloved heart dog, see her memoirs from Rainbow Bridge ...... http://princess.....pawds.com/
I am so sorry--and it is totally not fair.
"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all."
-Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency
"May I recommend serenity to you? A life that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life. Its fruit is sorrow and disappointment. Learn to be one with the joy of the moment."
-Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul
admin said
simbasmom17 said
...I don't know what to look for...We can totally relate. That's why we wrote about it when Jerry's mets started seriously affecting his quality of life.
What to expect next …
Well I just bawled my way through Jerry's final blog posts. But I needed to have an idea. I know it's different for every dog but I understand Simba will tell me. And I know it will kill me. I'm not ready for our time to be shortened but I am ready for him to be happy and out of pain and discomfort. I couldn't be more blessed to work at a vet office, one that shares a building with the ER vet no less. So when the time comes everyone will be there and I'm beginning to plan out my wishes now since I'm sure I won't be able to articulate it.
Right now Simba is just fairly tired. He will still get up and wag his tail and bring me toys when I come home. His tripawd hop is different now and a little slower. But his appetite is still good and the only coughing we've heard is that "excited cough" which my oncologist said he does not believe is the cancer. His X-rays look like the beginning of a snowfall. But for it to be showing after 3 weeks I know it will come fast. Reading about Jerry's incontinence did scare me because Simba is peeing so much more the last couple days...I dont know how much it's related but I feel it is :/ My heart will break the day Simba gives me that look. I'm trying to be strong in front of him but its not working very well. Im trying not to think about his age. I havent even had him a year yet, it will be a year June 5th, but it feels like Ive had him a lifetime. He's my doggy soulmate and I know he will send me other fur babies to love but none will be like Simba. He's the most incredible creature I've ever known. I walk for my college graduation on May 19th. It would mean everything for him to be there with me but only God knows now...
Danielle, my heart goes out to you, I can't even imagine being hit with this kind of awful news. It's so rare, and so not right, and it just breaks our hearts, I'm so very sorry.
All I can say is that when you look at Simba, stay strong and remember, he is living like he always has, finding happiness in everything around him, including his pack. He doesn't know what the x-rays showed, he doesn't understand the prognosis or how things are supposed to play out. He is just living life day to day as he always has, so nothing has changed for him.
If you've never read Eckhart Tolle's "Guardians of Being" I highly recommend it at this time. The book is full of such great ideas for seeing life as animals see it. At a time like this, it can really life your spirits. For example:
"Be alert as you watch a dog at play or at rest.
Let the animal teach you to feel at home in the Now, to
celebrate life by being
completely present."
It's hard not to mourn and feel the grief you are feeling, but you have to keep telling yourself that some day there will be plenty of time for tears. It's not time yet, and it's not fair to allow cancer to rob you of your time together, so don't let it. Because when it comes down to it, nobody ever knows how much time they really have left. A cancer diagnosis all of a sudden puts an expiration date on someone, but in reality, we all have one, we just don't know what it is. Do your best to live life as you always have, and take comfort in knowing that you didn't let cancer win by stealing time away from you and Simba.
As for the technical aspects of what metastasis progression looks like, in general most dogs will slow down, cough and just be less energetic. Incontinence can happen but not always. Some lose their appetite but some do not so try not to let that be your benchmark. Look for other things, and get out the pennies. This "Penny Jars Measure Quality of Life" will help you judge when his bad days outweigh the good ones. I hope that doesn't happen for a long, long time.
You have good instincts. You were able to read what was going on with Simba before the doctor did. You know him better than anyone else, so if your gut is telling you that something isn't right, or that he needs something, listen to your instincts and you can't go wrong.
Focus on today, on Simba right now, not on what the future holds. You still have time to be together so make the most of every second when you spend time together. And when you want to talk or vent or cry, we are here for you OK? I'm so sorry.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
Danielle & Simba - All my thoughts go out to you after this incredibly difficult news. I am praying for Simba to be with you at graduation. Enjoy each moment and each day so you have all those wonderful memories to hold close. Nothing I say can ease your pain, but know we care and are here for you anytime.
Spirit Shooter was a Miniature Australian Shepherd who was diagnosed with a MCT and had a LF amp 1/28/13 at 13-1/2 years old.
Shooter crossed the Bridge on 8/28/13, his 7 month ampuversary and two weeks from his 14th birthday.
Oh My Dear Simba! Please have your Mom read Jerry's post OVER and. OVER! It will resonate with you, I KNOW it will.
Living in the ow, The Power of Now (Eckhart) is such a huge part of what our earthly journey is about and our dogs have mastered this:! Simba is living in the. now and completely content in knowing all his needs are met and he is being loved fully.
The love that Simba is experiencing is infinite and the bond you two have can NEVER BE BROKEN!
If I recall, the onco. didn't do stay before first chemo for exactly same reason.....in fact, I think she said it wouldn't have spread that fast......not even "almost never...."
The chemo may even help keep the tumors from growing for awhile.....so who knows if maybe that one dose may have a benefit?
One dog I ad the privilege of having in my life got lung cancer (before any "options" were really available). The vet told me to go home and love on her. He had the wisdom tosay nno one knows how much time she has. This may, or may not lesson your fear....she never really had any "peeing issues" and no coughing issues. She did get very pinky with her food and became lethargic BUT, never showed any real pain and wagged a lot, but just played around more and more and showed me in her own way when it was time. So try not to worry about any peeing issues, etc. because every dog is different!!
Clearly Simba is feeling food now:-) And yes, she is lethargic from the chemo!! That is what chemo does.
Once you are able to catch your breath, you may want to check into complimentary therapy alternative. did pursue that with my dog and do feel we got extended quality time and do feel it kept a lot of the "symptoms" at bay and minimized some of the effects of that piece of crap scum disease.
I implore you again to go back and read Jerry's post. It's guided. The wisdom imparted is inspired. It's true.
We're all cradling you in our arms tonight and bringing you into our hearts with love and support.
What's that Simba doing right. now? Does he see you looking at him? Is that ma,king his tail wag? Is that the look of
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Sorry it cut off
Is Simba looking like a dog who's worried?? Heck no. She has her will to live intact. and her ability to experience job and love and treats!
Her "symptoms" before the xrayst could had been related to still recovering from the surgery. Just trying to say try not to give energy to anything you'll never have an answer to anyway.
You are a very special soul who was put with Simba on this journey for a very special reason. This sweet dog is loading you up with "life lessons" that will be part of his extraordinary life with you.
Sending you everything you need for this journey and storing it within you, Sally and Happy Hannah
Now go back and read Jerry's post before you go to sleep with Simba safely by your side.
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
One note thing! Please send us pictures of you and Simba when you graduate! You know by now we love pictures around here!
Simba is such a handsome kid (clearly a wise old soul in a young pup body)!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
I'm so teary for you. Oh, Simba, poor baby Simba. Not fair! It's just not right! I hope he's around for your graduation, but as you know, he'll tell you when he needs to be set free. You know all the right signs and have a bond with him. Trust him. In the meantime, vent here and then go back to your pup and love him up. Yeah, you're already doing that... I'm so sad for you and the life that was robbed from Simba. Damn cancer.
~ Katy
ACL tear in right hind leg 12/5/12 and scheduled ACL repair surgery 12/21/12. Pre-op xrays revealed osteosarcoma. Amputation 12/28/12. Chemo (carboplatin) started Jan 10, 2013 and ended on April 5, for a total of 5 doses. He handled carbo like a champ! No side effects. We started metronomic therapy at his third chemo and have been also doing some holistic treatments. He's a lively, playful 10 year old huskie-boarder collie and a very proud member of the Winter Warriors! Our love. Our funny little guy!
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