I'm just stunned to read this and wish I could just give you a hug!  My heart is happy though that sweet Darby was able to send you the sign in the clouds so you knew he made it "home to Heavens bridge".  Know his spirit will watch over you and you will feel him as a whisper in the wind.  Fly free new Angel!  Sending you healing thoughts and prayers.

Linda & Spirit Mighty Max

Wow. Amazing tribute to Darby. Very well done. You can sense the love in those photos. I love it. 

I'm so, so sorry that this happened.  I'm sitting here watching the video with tears streaming...he had such a sweet, kind face.  I know nothing can take the knife out of your heart right now, but I would like to add to the sentiment that others have shared, which is Darby knew you were doing your best for him.  I know he had a life full of so much love and fun.  I know that doesn't help you right now.  But please know that we are thinking of you and hoping you have peace in your heart and can feel Darby's love coming through to you from where he is now.

Tracy & Zatoichi

I just saw your video,  he was breathtaking and so graceful.  I once fostered an Afghan Hound that looked a lot like him,  what is his breed? Please give your daughter a bear hug for a job well done, yo5y both did him justice.  By the looks of your lovely family you will all need to support each other and by doing that you will get through this.  Your other baby will need extra TLC too,  it's amazing how perceptive they are.  My thoughts are with you in this awful time. Please take care of each other and check in when you are able. 

Big hugs, 

Jackie,  David,  and Huckleberry ❤❤

(((Christina))) I showed your tribute to my husband last night and cried showing it to him. I do not know the circumstances that lead to his passing. Until this last post you made I thought he passed while the surgery was being performed. My heart is crying for you. If you have questions that you need answered then you need to speak with the hospital. That might be painful for you, it may make you relive this once again, but if this is going to nag at you and not go away then you need answers. 

If it helps at all my experiences working at the animal hospital that I was at were nothing less than wonderful. My hospital was a teaching hospital. My education came from doctors and techs that had 20+ years experience. I watched, assisted, and learned over and over again until I was allowed to move forward, and even THEN I was watched another 20 times before I was allowed to intubate independently, anesthetize and monitor, place IV's, give fluids, injections, etc. I was not a student veterinarian, I was a student that became a surgical technician... that is also a big difference.

Please do not torture yourself by putting these hideous thoughts in your head. You are going to make yourself sick sweetie, don't do it. Odds are that he was not alone, odds are that he may not have even been awake when this all happened. Odds are good that he made it over the bridge and never felt pain. Sometimes things happen for a reason that we know nothing of. I will tell you that before surgery he probably had an amazing amount of pre-op medication that would make him barely aware of anything other than a deep need to sleep and be relaxed. They use pain meds along with other medications before a procedure that knock them out pretty good, I used to  carry those little ones to the surgical table to prep and they were feeling no pain, trust me. 

What you are going through is horrible. You are going to need time to heal regardless of what anybody feels is an adequate amount of time. You will heal in your own time. In the meantime, if you can try to make small steps to help the rest of your family and your other little fur baby get through this, that might help you too. It might take a conscious effort day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute to try and do even one small thing in a day that you feel is productive. Take care of yourself and don't blame yourself. You were doing the right thing by taking care of your baby. He will show himself, and he will watch over you. Sounds like you just got one of those signs. More will come, you watch and see. Your baby is an angel now, and he will be your guardian angel forever. He is just getting used to his angel wings, and meeting all of the other angels over the bridge. ((((Hug)))) and you will have all of the support here that you need for however long you need it. 

Jackie