Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
Tripawds is your home to learn how to care for a three legged dog or cat, with answers about dog leg amputation, and cat amputation recovery from many years of member experiences.
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Thank you for coming here and being so honest with your emotions. We are the ones who understand like no others can. We understand all the layers of sadness, especially what it's like when that heavy sadness hits you like a ton of bricks out of the blue. Everyone here will tell you even years later those emotions of grief can indeed"open like a floodgate" when you least expect it.
You and Gabe are a beloved member of our Tripawd Family. I do hope you find some comfort in being able to share your thoughts here, knowing there is never any judgement, just understanding
Sometimes you need to sit with the feelings and process them.
You certainly been hit with a double whammy when it comes to losing two important relationships in your life I know Gabe has been a wonderful teacher for you on so many levels and has given you so many gifts. I'm sure one of the gifts is an inner strength that you may not even realize you have. Certainly Gabe was a role model for what that kind of strength and determination looks like. He showed you that no matter whatever happens in life, you will come out of it on the other side and be better for it. You are a better person because Gabriel was your earthly companion for eleven years. Step into his Warrior persona and know that he will always be "eitg" you tohelp you get to better times.......and we'll be with you too.♥️
Hugs
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
PS. Thiie were wonderful pictures. I hope they can make your heart smile when you think of those happy treasured memories. Would love to see more.
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Thank you very much,
I know Gabe was much stronger than I am, and I just wish he could have taught me just a little bit more you know? I feel like he had more to teach us but his life was cut short by the cancer and complications that happened along the way.
He had so much more to give. My partner blames me for his passing at times which is not fair. We all did what we thought was best for Gabe. Physio, Chemo, amputation, supplements, medications, massage, aromatherapy, Reiki, witchcraft, prayer, we fucking did everything we possibly could. I took him to a monitored swimming session at physio and he developed pneumonia.. we don't know if it was after or occuring before.. but she blames me saying I caused him to pass sooner.
I understand how she can think that, but putting that on me when all I was doing was looking out for him and taking the advice of vets, doctors and more.. is unfair. I just am frustrated with the whole situation, I want to learn from it but I might be too down in the depths of it all right now to see the lesson I need to learn at the moment.
I know it will come, but right now I just miss my dog and my partner. I miss the life we had, the times we shared and honestly I just wasn't ready to move on without either of them in my life. And it's been immensely draining to pretend I'm okay a lot of the time when I just want to leave and walk with my best friend. But I can't. So I walk alone now, watching others and their partners and their beloved companions
I suppose all things end, and if we only came together to give Gabriel an amazing 11 years of life on this earth then that is fine. I will take that because they will undoubtedly be the best 11 years of my life.
Again that you very much for responding and reading all this, I just feel immensely sad recently and it's honestly quite unexpected. I was feeling okay for the last while but it all is hitting me again. The reality of Gabe's passing and the ending of my partnership, to but it bluntly.
It fucking sucks.
I'm so sorry that so much heartache happened around Gabe's passing. I wish I could give you a hug! You can vent here as much as you like, it helps you and I know it helps others. There is very likely someone reading this who has encountered similar situations.
When a couple loses a child, human or not, it really takes a toll on the relationship, and brings out all sorts of buried emotions. Sometimes a relationship is strong enough to deal with it, sometimes the two people go their separate ways. It sucks to have two huge losses like that. I can't even imagine. My heart hurts for you.
It is not fair at all for your ex to blame you for his passing. You are right about that, you did right by him! Anything could have happened during the course of his illness. You all did your best with the information you had available. Your heartfelt intention to give Gabe a good quality of life was 100% sincere, and your sweet boy knew that. Be proud of the way dealt with that crappy hand cancer dealt, know that you are an amazing, smart, compassionate dog parent. That is 100% true! Never doubt that you are a great dog parent. Gabe knew it, we know it.
And as you already know, some day you will feel lighter enough to see the greater lesson here, to feel more hopeful about the future. I won't go on about living in the now, or not looking back. Because that feels impossible to do with where your head is at right now and I will respect that. I know, however that you will get to a better place. Therapy definitely helps, and if we can be of any help at all please don't hesitate to reach out OK? You are always family to us, part of this incredible community that goes above and beyond for their beloved fur kids.
When I read yoir post an hour ago or so, I had no words and kist had sich a hard time processing what you mist be going through with the "blame game" your expartner tried to put on you.
And then Jerry came along with such a heartfelt , insightful reply. IPlease read it over and over and I know it will help bring the strength you need to help push some of these disempowering thoughts away.
Don't mean to sound harsh or unfeeling, but the way your ex has tried to blame you, ,maybe control you in some way, by laying guilt at your feet is jist plain cruel. Also quite disrespectful to Gabriel and how he sees things and how he KNOWS you sid everything possible for yim.....more than most could do or could even afford to d9.
So yeah, don't give anymore power to her baseless words, regain your power back, realign your with the person you kmow your are and then you will be able to be more open to all the treasures of enlightened lessons Gavbe continues to teach you.
Okay, enough rambling. Please save Jerry's reply and find comfort, wisdom and strength in it.
Hugs
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Thanks you two truly.
It was not something I anticipated her to ever say, and she again brought up my reaction to it today. Saying she's always been in my corner and that my reaction to her saying I caused Gabriel's early demise should not have happened.
I just don't give it any weight or thought anymore. She can think whatever she wants, I understand my intentions and that I had nothing but love for her and Gabriel for 11 years. It's all over now anyways, Gabe is dead, and our relationship has crumbled and she's with another person already. So really, if I cannot change it I will not work about it.
I just cannot help but get down in the depths at times. I have people here supporting me, I have people pursuing me as a partner. But I am not ready for anything, and I feel guilty as I don't want to disappoint people who may be wanting a relationship.
Loss and Grief is a strange thing.. it's been tricky. Losing my partner in life also has added some complications to the whole thing.
Jerry thank you for your words and Benny thank you for what you said. It's interesting hearing that's how other might see her words or actions.
You said it: she can think whatever she wants. You were an incredible parent to him, and he knew it.
Don't feel guilty for your feelings about everything. And don't fight them either. It's OK and totally understandable to own all of the emotions. You know that saying "What we resist, persists." It's so true! Your world fell apart and everything you are going through are completely valid reactions.
Things will resolve in time, you're just not ready yet. Therapy can definitely help if you're ready for it. With or without, I know you will get to a better place because Gabe's lessons are part of your soul now, that bond, his strength, his resilience, well all those things he demonstrated will never leave you.
Yeah, Gabe taught us so much about love and life, I think everyone needs to have a dog at some point in their life.
A friend last night said a strange thing to me, we were at a bar that allows dogs, and a German Shepherd was there so we got on the topic (He has a Corgi/Heeler mix himself) of having and losing animal companions. And he said to them, we are seemingly immortal, we barely age, we barely change in their whole lifetime.
It for some reason stuck, I just wish Gabe knew that I was not immortal. I was very much not an overseer or an immortal being or anything.
That I can bleed like him, age as he did, and eventually die as he did. I wanted him to know that he was not alone in the struggles he had in the end. That I struggle as well.
It was a weird thought, but I appreciate the kind words of support here.
Hope you are all doing well yourselves!
Thanks so much for check in. We think about ypu and Gabe often.
Love that the bar accepts dogs as "guests".
Interesting what your friend said. Interesting, so thanks for sharing. I hear what yoi are saying.
I'll just through out another "thought" along those lines of the immortal part. I don't think dogs really "see" our physical changes as we age. And I don't think they think in terms of mortality That's because they know they have another dimension, another energy, beyond their earth clothes. That bond of energy you two share together will always remain....just not in the "earth clothes" form.
Gabe ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, knew you were by his side every moment of every day. Gabe always knew you had his best interest at heart. You were the center of his Universe jist as he was the center of yours. I don't think Gabe compartmentalized things into "struggle", mortality, etc. Certainly in one sense he could read your energy.... pick up on your energy if you were feeling bad, anxious, sad, whatever. Gabe was such an all-knowing, enlightened Soul and has a wisdom far beyond what we could comprehend. Dogs have such a unique understanding of the circle of earth life and are accepting of however that transition transpires for them.
The bottom line is Gabe knew you loved him and he never felt alone with you by his side.
Didnt mean to ramble and just throwing out a bunch of stuff for the FWIW column.
One day at a time.........
Hugs
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Oh gosh you know I'm a sucker for herding dogs so you got my attention right away. I want to go to that bar! It also makes me happy to know you were able to talk about Gabe with a friend, and one who understands dogs too ... even better.
Sally's perspective is spot on, I couldn't have said it better. Dog's don't think about things like mortality, they just ... are. They live in the moment. And you were always there with Gabe. To him, that's all that mattered. He had so much going on in that head of his that was so wise, enlightened, loving. Far beyond what humans are capable of thinking. And as Sally pointed out, they are far more accepting of what this life brings them because they don't focus on the past or future, they just make the most of now. And that's something you did with Gabe when he was alive in this dimension, and it's his legacy for you to continue now that he has changed form. You are getting there, you just don't know it yet.
And we are here for you every step of the way. Thanks for checking in.
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