So today was that day, the day we have known that eventually would come. The day when we finally said our goodbyes to our beautiful princess. It doesnt matter how many times you tell yourself that one day you will have to deal with the unevitable but when it comes its so hard and isnt easy. It was my birthday last week and my brother had flown over from america to come and see us all, we havent seen him for three years so we were all so excited. Xena was absolutely fine all last week, and then on monday things started to deteriate, it was like she was just holding on to do the last few things she loves. Playing by the pool and in the garden with the other dogs, meeting other people and them making a huge fuss of her, lots of treats, seeing my brother and seeing us all happy together. But when yesterday arrived we quickly realised she´d had enough and she was ready to say goodbye. We made a vet appointment for today hoping that when we went in to see Sergio our lovely vet he would give us the options as hes always saved us and bought us a few more months with our princess. But this time she couldnt walk and had lost around 5 kilos in the last couple of weeks. She was just skin and bone and that wasnt like our Xena. She was sleepy and tired, also very weak. When he saw her he told us even her shadow wasnt her anymore and took a blood test, after searching for a vein for around 10 minutes, he finally managed to get some blood, but with her blood pressure really low and her temperature at 35 degrees she was cold and tired. blood tests came back as failing kidneys, and that the cancer has taken over. Options being to put her onto a drip like we did in december and hope to maybe force the kidneys into working again which was a really low chance as the kidneys were working to less than a 30% of function, and kidneys dont regenerate or get better. Sergio our vet told us that by putting her onto a drip was only going to maybe buy us 24-48 hours and she would be alone in the surgery and what life if that for our baby. We didnt want our princess to spend her last 24-48 hours by herself in a vet surgery. And the only other option was to say our final goodbyes and tell her how much we loved her while she dropped off to deep sleep. Sergio was amazing as he always is, and gave us so much time to say our final goodbyes, during which she finally found the strength to stand up and lean on my mom who was with me. We told her that she was our warrior and she sure did teach that cancer a lesson and that she was ready to go and be with our other angels, where she wont hurt anymore. She snuggled her head into my moms arms as if to thanks us. Sergio our vet sedated her first to calm her and completely relax her as even though she was laid completely relaxed her heart was speeding like she had run a marathon, another problem that we knew was related to this horrid cancer. We stayed with her stroking her and tickling her chin, reminding her of all the amazing things we have done together in her 9 years with us, and telling her how much we love her and she will always be a part of our lives. Then when she was calm Sergio put her into a deeper sleep like she would if she was going into an operation and we sat with her the whole time just talking to her, whether she could hear us or not, i wanted to make sure she knew we were with her every second of the way, because she is our family and we love her. Then when she had dosed off, Sergio then put her to sleep. Nothing the whole wide world prepares you for that moment when she takes her last breath, and you know no matter how much you search every corner of the world you will never find your bestfriend for one last hug and a sloppy kiss. We stayed with her for a while longer after she had gone saying our final goodbyes. As we left i carried her lead and her collar and a small piece of her furr, that the vet had shaved off to take blood, i also left with the beautiful memories we had together, it was in this moment that i realised that everyday that i had lived in Spain Xena was there through thick and thin, through rain and snow, through boyfriends and pregnancy, tiny baby, good days and bad days, silently by my side always and there when i needed her. She was my best friend, an absolute pleasure to be her mommy and i was there when she needed me even in her very last moments it was her families faces that she saw last. She was a huge part of our family and always will be. Today when she left she took a piece of my heart with her and filled it with all the memories and love i had for her. Wherever she is now be it across that rainbow bridge, we loved her so much and we will see her again one day and give her that hug i so badly need right now. When we came home, my other two babies were playing outside and i kept hearing her hopping sound she used to make, i kept looking at the spot she always laid on, her food bowl, her bed, and even the empty space on the sofa and kept thinking shell pop out her head in a minute and come bounding along to give me a kiss, but i sit and wait and she doesnt come. My heart is broken for my princess but i know today was her time and we have been so blessed to have her in our lives everyday for the last 9 years.

On another note, i want to thank everyone from this amazing page. If it wasnt for you guys in 2013 when she was first diagnosed i dont know what i would of done i was so lost and confused. Since i found this page i made the best choice by letting her become a tripawd. She did better on three than she ever did on four. I cant believe im writing this in past tense, but thankyou so much for every single bit of advice and support its meant more to me and Xena than you can ever possibly imagine!

All our love,
Chloe and Angel Baby Xena 09/04/2015 <3