My dear sweet, kind, devoted best friend and 'big brother' to Grace is no longer with us; we gave him back to God yesterday afternoon. 

Ryder woke me at 3 AM on Thursday morning (9/8) retching, panting and drooling profusely. For a couple of weeks prior to this he had stopped hopping down to the mailbox and limited his 'walks' to going out to the front yard and rolling in the grass for several minutes, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air.  He was extremely lethargic, confused, weak and disoriented.  He was able to go back to sleep until 6:30.  He then went outside to pee and came in and ate a small breakfast.  He laid down near the slider door and slept for about 3-4 hours.  When he woke up he was again very out of it, very tired and had distant droopy looking eyes.  He was still very lethargic and had shallow breathing and had become incontinent.  By Noon my husband and I just knew that he had finished his fight.  He was able to go outside and pooped but came back in and once again laid down, just barely aware of his surroundings.  He eventually peed on the floor and was trying to clean himself up.  We helped make him comfortable and decided it was time to call Paws Into Grace to help him end his suffering.  The cancer that had spread into his lungs had metastasized into his brain for a couple of weeks by now, hence the seizures he had last week.  He was so confused and tired. 

Bless his heart he even lifted his head and actually barked a couple of times (because puppy Grace was barking) at the Dr. who came to the house from Paws Into Grace.  He then just faded and lay so still with eyes barely open and very shallow breathing.  We spent a long time talking to him, petting him and giving him love.  At one point he did feebly attempt to wag his beautiful tale once.  He was barely there, eyes semi-closed.  Ryder was so very devoted to us that the doctor actually had to give him an additional sedative because he just wanted to be with us and wouldn't let go.  

Ryder passed just after 3 PM.  I cannot stop the flow of tears.  I will dearly miss this most sweetest boy, his happy hugs and smiles.  Ryder was our 'foster failure'.  We adopted him when he was 13 months old and he just had his 8th birthday on August 27th.  He was the best 'big brother' to puppy Grace (now 14 months old).  He took care of her and loved her since she was a wee little 9 week old pup.  She always wanted to be with him and loved to lie next to him.  She too will miss his love.

Thank you all for being there for me during this difficult 4 months since his leg fractured on April 1st and we learned that he had osteosarcoma.  His left front leg was amputated on April 16th.  Cancer is so evil.  We did all that we could to fight it but it still won.  I will try to take comfort in knowing that he no longer has to put up with the pain that he has lived with for far too long.  Rest well my beautiful boy, we love you, always in our hearts!