Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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Ohhhh, thank you so much! I totally missed this but will now be sure to add a "quality of life" tag to it. Thank you!!!!
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
jdsmom said:
…trying to accept my pain and so look forward to the time when the memories don't hurt so much.
It helped us to reframe the situation. Jerry hated to see us sad, so every time we felt exceptional grief, we would remind ourselves of that and play "Remember When" … when you feel the tears piling up, ask yourself "Remember when JD [fill in the blank with fun memories]?" Before long those frowns will become smiles. After all, that's how JD would want it.
Closure also helps. Pam's keepsake box idea sounds wonderful. That's why we added a wide selection of nice photo boxes and pet urns in the Tripawds Gifts blog.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
Thanks everyone for these good ideas.
Hey Chloe's Mom, way to put those Grad school research skills to work. Thanks for finding the article on Quality of Life
I have struggled with all of the things around the house that are JD to me. My bed is one of he worst places. She was quite the cuddler, well I should say pusher. Most nights I would end up on the far edge of my Cal-King bed as she was comfortably spread out over the other 4/5ths of it!!! My sister and I had taken apart the frame and put the mattress on the floor after JD's amputation so she could still hop up and we could continue to sleep and cuddle together. So now as I go to bed each night it is awful and lonely and way too spacious. Today I made the decision to buy a whole new bed. Queen sized and tall, as different as I can from the old. I also rearranged all the furniture in the living room, and moved the comfy foam lounging pad I made for her, as I found myself looking for her in the regular spots she favored. Her food and water bowls are still in the kitchen and her leash and collar hang nearby. It is just that sometimes I feel so overwhelemed with missing her.
I like the idea of the memory box very much, I want her close and her memory deserves something ultra special.
I will try the 'Remember when...'. Starting with, as I shared with all of you -'Remember when just weeks into her recovery she stole the toilet paper roll and shredded it right under my nose?' Such a scamp!!
Putting one foot in front of the other and attempting an attitude shift.
Angel JD's mom
JD
One Tough Girl
(1999-2010)
-Diagnosed with osteosarcoma of her left front leg –
-Amputation July 23 2010 –
-The cancer didn't get her, but she is gone-
-She fought the cancer and loved life till bloat brought her down August 29th, 2010-
Now she watches over her mom and two new sisters, the Quad-Paws Serena and Maya
I am big on scrapbooking and you could always consider doing a JD scrapbook.... Might also help you focus on the good times you want to preserve and help fill in those empty spaces you keep looking at.
-Chloe's mom
PS. Yes it did take me a while to find the article, but I too wanted to find that article for my own records. I have a knack for finding things...
Chloe became a rear amp tripawd on 7-29-10. Another tumor was removed on front leg 2-20-14. Found 3rd tumor on neck 2-2015, but she's still kicking cancer's butt at age 14. Chloe's blog
I am just reading this now - I am so sorry for your loss. Bloat is just as horrible as this OSA is!! A close friend of mine lost her 1 yr old Collie to bloat about 2 yrs ago, the vet told her in Mason's case it was partially genetic/bad breeding. We just never know how much time we have left with them and just need to cherish every day (cancer or no cancer).
~~~~ Denali ~~~~
June 9, 2010 OSA suspected
June 17, 2010, July 14, 2010 Clear X-rays – no mets
July 1, 2010 Amputation
July 9, 2010 OSA Confirmed
November 23, 2010 Cancer took you from me - Never forgotten, Always Loved - Forever
Supporting the Fighters, Admiring the Survivors, Honoring the Taken, And never, ever giving up Hope
jdsmom said:
I will try the 'Remember when…'. Starting with, as I shared with all of you -'Remember when just weeks into her recovery she stole the toilet paper roll and shredded it right under my nose?' Such a scamp!!
Angel JD's mom
That's it......these beautiful and funny memories are what our loving pups have so graciously given us.
Thoughts and prayers,
Fortis'Dad
I thought of you today since we are going on parallel journeys through this horrible grief since Sunday. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I fear I am just as lost as you. I miss Molly so much and the tears haven't stopped. I too am struggling with what to do with Molly's things. Her presence is everywhere and just about everything reminds me of her. My husband and I were able to pack up her bike trailer yesterday, but most of the things that have a close attachment to her I haven't been able to put away... her Ruffwear Harness, doggie jacket, favorite toy and blankie are all still laying on her mat in the living room. I don't know when I will have the strength to pack them up, but for now I am just leaving them be. When I am overwhelmed by sadness, I go over by the mat and hug Molly's vest or sniff her jacket. Somehow touching these tangible objects is comforting to me right now.
I am sending big hugs your way. I am sure Molly and JD are helping each other get used to their new wings.
-Heidi
Molly was diagnosed with Synovial Cell Sarcoma (grade 3 with hystiocytic markers) and had her front leg amputated on August 15th 2008. We had a wonderful two years with her until she passed at age 13.5 on August 29th 2010. As far as we could tell, her cancer never returned.
No need to be in a hurry to put things away, I say. While we are all more than our "stuff," it's those things that sometimes represent so many treasured memories. When you're ready to rearrange furniture or put stuff in a memory box, you'll know. Until then, just take each day as it comes, that's all anypawdy can do.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
The replacement of sad memories is such an excellent idea! I guess I never thought about it too much until Jim posted it!
The one thing that helps me get through loved one's passing is to think about yourself dying and how you would want your loved ones to feel about you. I wouldn't want my loved ones upset and sad. I would want them to think about me with a smile (and a chuckle). And they better not have a sad funeral or I'll come back and haunt them!
Comet - 1999 to 2011
She departed us unexpectedly January 23, 2011 at the age of 12 1/2.
She was born with a deformed front leg and a tripawd all of her life.
It just occured to me that if you have some of JD's things lying around and if you don't know what to do with them, that I have an idea (better than scrapbooking idea)… For my college graduation, I made a shadow box of memorabilia (hat, tassel, event invitation, stole of gratitude with poems to each parent etc…) for each of my parents as a way to preserve the memory of that day. You can buy these type of boxes at most any craft store. I provided a link to Michaels Arts& Crafts as an example. If you actually visit a store (Jo-Ann Fabrics, Michaels, or whatever is near you), they usually have more options for larger sizes (depth/height etc...) depending on what you want to put in there.
Basically you can put some of her things in a shadow box (on your own to figure out how to arrange them) with some pictures of her or some notes you personally write about good memories, funny habits, etc of JD. If you have a harness you could probably mount it by itself, but some of her toys might fit inside (depending on the size/depth box you buy)!!!
This way you can still look at her things, but have the added "chic" factor by having them nicely mounted as your custom wall art!! I don't have a picture of my college graduation one, but I am sure if you google "shadow boxes" you can find examples from other people.
http://www.mich.....hadowboxes
-Chloe's mom
Chloe became a rear amp tripawd on 7-29-10. Another tumor was removed on front leg 2-20-14. Found 3rd tumor on neck 2-2015, but she's still kicking cancer's butt at age 14. Chloe's blog
One week today, I last stroked your sweet soft belly spots, whispered in your ear and set you free. So many people are helping me to be strong, wow you sure were loved!!!!
You are now my Spirit Angel. Help me to transform my sadness into the great memories of our years together. I want to honor your life with dignity and not sloppy tears.
I miss you so very much sweet pea, you were 'One tough Girl'
Angel JD's mom
JD
One Tough Girl
(1999-2010)
-Diagnosed with osteosarcoma of her left front leg –
-Amputation July 23 2010 –
-The cancer didn't get her, but she is gone-
-She fought the cancer and loved life till bloat brought her down August 29th, 2010-
Now she watches over her mom and two new sisters, the Quad-Paws Serena and Maya
Sloppy tears are necessary and a part of the grieving process. Be kind to yourself...this loss is enormous. Love for our beloved fur kids is truly beyond words and it's only through the tears and walking through the pain that you will get to acceptance and peace. There is no way around the grief...you just have to live it and let time work its magic.
I haven't been on a lot this past year - it's been a ruff one and this is the first that I'm chatting with you....I lost Zeus exactly one year ago today and I still have 2 dogs beds beside my bed, 2 food stands, 2 leashes, 2 boxes of toys, 2 bins of food (Zeus's food is still in his) and 1 ruffwear harness . I only have 1 dog right now. It's helped me to keep his things out, but that's me. You have to do what's good for you when it comes to everything about this....we all grieve differently and in our own way. Do what feels right to you not what you think you should be doing just because someone else said something about still having things out or not out.
I have Zeus' ashes in a box with a picture of him happy as a clam after his amputation on my nightstand. I framed the paw print they gave me after he died and I even took a picture of it and had it shrunk down and tatooed on the inside of my ankle since thats where he always laid his head. Nuts? probably...but I did what I needed to do to get through it and as with the cancer journey, I have no regrets and I found some peace - eventually - and acceptance. The tears still come, though that intense pain has subsided and I came smile through the tears remembering him as I feel him still hopping beside me.
Be gentle with yourself now. Forgive the cliche, but time will heal...you'll never forget, the hole may never be filled and you'll never stop loving...but it does get better...I promise.
Hugs,
Heather and Spirit Zeus
Heather and Spirit Zeus - Our life changing journey…from the earth to the heavens…one day at a time…always together
Dear Heather,
I love the picture of what seems to be an 'airborn' Zeus. He is so beautiful.
Thank you for your comforting words. I know there is now right or wrong way to grieve, I am just trying to move with grace, and honor my sweet JD.
Have you returned to the forums to honor Spirit Zeus on this anniversary or are you here to lend support to others as you have done today for me? I have found such compassion here, we all understand each other. We are special 'pawrents' not just dog owners, we love so completley and selflessly.
The tattoo is such a special thing to do, and on the spot he loved so much, wonderful.
I hope circumstances allow you to stay around Tripawds, or at least visit more often; your experience stregnth and hope is greatly greatly appreciated.
Angel JD's mom
JD
One Tough Girl
(1999-2010)
-Diagnosed with osteosarcoma of her left front leg –
-Amputation July 23 2010 –
-The cancer didn't get her, but she is gone-
-She fought the cancer and loved life till bloat brought her down August 29th, 2010-
Now she watches over her mom and two new sisters, the Quad-Paws Serena and Maya
Hi Angie - you know...today was the first time that I have been on this past year that it didn't hurt and that instead I felt the joy and love that I always did before in trying to help another person make a decision or get through a difficult time by sharing the wonderful outcome that Zeus and I had despite the horrible diagnosis. To answer your question about today, I came on to try and help others as I know Zeus would have wanted and the best way I could think of to celebrate his memory. It's really not about him anymore - it's about everyone else that is struggling with a decision, celebrating an ampuversary or grieving a new loss. I hope his/our story can help with some of that for others.
I've come and gone and tried to visit consistently, but I just had to honor that it was too difficult for me and accept it as part of my grieving process. I'm thankful that along with the first year, that pain of being here on tripawds seems to be in the past. I love this place and it holds a very special place in my heart like everyone on it even though most of us have never met. It's so unique and yes...so are we pawrents
Your words were very sweet and I really appreciate them. You've achieved the grace you are striving for.
Much love,
Heather
Heather and Spirit Zeus - Our life changing journey…from the earth to the heavens…one day at a time…always together
Hi JD's Mom,
I thought of you yesterday too, and how we have both managed to survive this horribly sad week. I agree with Heather about handling the grief in your own way. There are some things I went through this week that I was certain would make me cry, but didn't much. And then other times when the smallest thing has made me sob with sadness. I am just taking it minute by minute, trying not to analyze things so much, and letting my body and mind do what it needs to do do grieve and heal. Sending you strength as we go into our second week without our beloved Molly and JD.
Hugs,
Heidi
Molly was diagnosed with Synovial Cell Sarcoma (grade 3 with hystiocytic markers) and had her front leg amputated on August 15th 2008. We had a wonderful two years with her until she passed at age 13.5 on August 29th 2010. As far as we could tell, her cancer never returned.
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