Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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I hope I am in the right category for this, but today, I have felt such frustration that has finally gotten to me. It touches upon the subject that Michelle posted about a month ago or so, regarding being happy when you know others aren't, and vice-versa. Now that my Polly is gone, I want SO bad to support new members and the new journey of heartache and struggle they are facing with cancer and amputation. I am able to share in everyone's joy AND sorrow here, but how in the world can I possibly give someone new, the hope they need when they realize my own girl is gone from this horrible disease??! All the great friendships I have developed here are all wonderful people that are/were fighting this together. I know when a few friends here, posted on my topics when I was new here with Polly and I saw their beloved pets had already passed, it just seemed like most were fortunate and fought this crappy disease for a decent amount of time. And when I saw how a few others lost their pups fairly quickly, it did make me feel pretty scared at the time for Polly....I do have it in my heart to support all these new loving pet owners, I just don't want to scare them when they see I have lost my girl so soon after her amputation. Has anyone felt the same, or am I just opening a big can of worms? Am I worrying over nothing, or just being dumb? Is this just a part of my own healing process after losing Polly? I feel so confused, but don't want to be.......
Feeling down, today..... 
Bonnie & Angel Polly
Bonnie,
You are so kind and caring. I think some of what you're feeling is your grief. It took a long time for me to post on Tripawds after Willow died. I was on the site reading all the time, but I didn't feel like I had a place here anymore. I didn't have a Tripawd. But after awhile, I would look at posts and there would be something I would want to add...something I had read somewhere, something that had relevance but maybe nothing to do with being a Tripawd, or even just offering my condolences because I knew the grief someone was feeling when they had to let their beloved baby go. You being here for people...offering your kindness, love, support, comfort and knowledge means so much. I don't think you'll scare anyone when they realize Polly is gone...everyone knows that the journey with cancer will be a tough one, they know that the journey will end. I think when people see the amount of love and support they get from everyone on Tripawds, it empowers them and gives them the courage to make decisions that they were afraid to make. Your contributions are priceless because of the love, kindness and wisdom you share. I hope you'll stay and continue to offer your support to others!!
Hugs,
Carol
My Dear Sweet Bonnie and our Beloved Polly...
Thank you soooooo mch for sharing your "heart thoughts" today. By opening this dialogue you continue to add so much value to the Tirpawd Universe.
There are so many different ways to offer support here on so many different levels.
If I may...and I could not say this with more love and admiration.....you are still in the depths of despair over the loss of Polly, and the fact that you are here on a daily baisis celebrating vctories snd crying over each sad loss....f course you're feeling all these mixed emotins nd frustration!, You are being waaaaay to hard on yourself and expecting waaaaay too much from yourself right now. I can only hope I jave one ounce of the courage you and others have shown by staying here while trying to heal yor own heartbreak.
Encouragement and support for "newbies" and "oldies" gets re-defined daily---hourly sometimes! For me, two of the main messages I've learned from this journey and want to impart......
1. You are not alone! We understand like no others can! We are here by your side this whole journey!
2. Stay in the moment! Let NOTHING rob you of your time together! Practice the "Art of Being More Dog" util you cannlt practice anymore.....and then
practice some more!!
Yes, for me' I will always hold onto "hope" and convey hope....because it is always there in some form or another. Yes, "hope" also gets re-defined daily, hourly here. When y husband first "got" this piece of cra disease, I "hoped" he would "beat it", be a survivor. I never lost hope, but I sure did change my definituon! He was pretty much bed-ridden within thirty days of diagnosis and "crossed over" withing eighty days. As it became more evident that ong term survival was not in the cards, I started "hoping" he would eat better "today", started "hoping" he would be pain free "today", I started "hoping" I could keep being as strong for him as he was for me, I started z"hopng" ZI could stay grateful for "today" and not worry about tomorrow, I started "hoping" his passng his passing would be peaceful (and it was...just the two of us, our dogs by our sides, at home).
Geeez, now I'm really rambling!! I was just TRYING to say, there are many different ways to offer hope!
Yes, when we first join this site, any of js are focused on "longevity" and being one of the many year survivors!! For me, that kind of hope was crucial, st first. At first I was so focused on Happy Hannah's difficult surgery recovery, I was completely oblivious to all the other "threads", all the other challenges all those who were supporting me were facng...and all the losses.....some brutally quick after surgery. Tht scared the crap out of me. It was also exactly the kick in the butt I needed to "stay in the now", to let nothing rob us of whstever time we do have! Was I "successful" with that "strayegy"? Heck no...not all the time....-but most of the time!
I believe it was Dakota Dawg (Sharon) or Pug Maggie (Karen) who, on one of their posts reminded me that, while we all celebrate the victories of each ampuversary, they are always balanced with the tragedy of dogs and cats who did not have much time at all. That is a reality.....sme do get extended quality tk e...and some do not...REGARDLESS of what treatment we do, or don't do! It is a fact that exists and canot be ignored. It's what we do with those "facts" that mstter!! No, we cannot change the cards our furbabies are dealt, but we can dtermi e how we handle those circumstances. And that's where the support of caring people like you is iinvaluable!!
We are all different...we all react differently...we all have different coping mechanisms.....we ALL crumble to our kness with fear sometimes, with sadness, with despair, with hopelessness, with anger and frustration.....we just do it differently. Never compare how you deal with a situation to the way anyone else does. Those are YOUR emotions, YOUR coping mechanisms and YOUR right to feel and do what you need to so you can move nto your next breath.
Bo nie, you ave no idea how mich you cntribute to each of us in sooooo many different ways!! PLEASE know that to be true!! My "hope" for you for today is that you KNOW that, okay??
This is sich an important dialogue you started. Again, I can onl "hope" I can stay here and be as supportive as you and others who have endured such overwhelming heartache. I admire you so much!
I'm almost scared to hit the "reply" button...no...not just because of the awful typos....I'm not even sure whst I just wrote!! Okay, I'm gonna just trust it was meant to be...............
Sending a heartfelt and sincere "thank you" for being you!
Sally and Happy Hannah
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Bonnie,
I think everyone is different, and it's completely understandable why you are frustrated. It is hard, especially losing polly so soon. My case, we weren't able to amp, so we were Given only weeks. I guess I lived every day like it could be our last, and that was both good and bad. But with any disease, there is hope. With osa there's hope that on average we can hopefully have some decent time with our guys, but there's that Bell curve. Extremes in either end. I guess my hope was always that someone can learn something from our individual battles. Without those of us willing to risk the fight, how would we learn more about the disease? I don't know if that makes sense. Either way, the disease is a nasty unpredictable one. It's not fair. And it's 100 percent OK to be angry, mad, upset at it. Keep hanging in there. Ours hearts and hugs to you. ..
Lori and the family
I can't add anything more than what Carol, Sally and Lori have already said brilliantly. Take those words to heart. I would miss you if you were not here any more.
Amy & Spirit Libby
Liberty (Libby) was diagnosed with OSA on 1-22-13. Right front amputation on 1-31-13. No IV Chemo. Metronomic Therapy started 2-19-13 along with supplements and some home cooking. Lungs clear until 1-06-14. She's still her happy, hoppy, bossy self. Living the dog life to the fullest and a proud Winter Warrior. :) RIP my Libby 4-21-03 to 3-19-14
Bonnie,
Just wanted to let you know that I understand how you feel. Every time I answer a new member's question about why I'm here, I feel nervous about how much to share. I believe in being truthful, but not brutal. In that, I mean that I also tell anyone that will listen about my beautiful Brendol. It's how she lives on. And although I feel we got one of the short straws (although not as short as some) with only 6 months, I encourage anyone facing osteosarcoma to fight for today. We don't know if anyone will draw the short or long straw, so all we can do is fight for the long one. It is up to each and every new member to choose how they are going to approach this disease with their dog/cat. Anyways, this is a place to give and a place to receive. So don't worry about sharing your baby with us and the new members. Sharing is good for you, which is part of why this community exists. And in that sharing, you also give this community knowledge, compassion, education, and experience which helps everybody else.
Hope that makes sense,
Karma, Adelaide and the crew, and our forever angel Brendol
Adelaide is a young tripawd Husky, from an injury. Her amp was on 10/1/12. She has 4 sisters, Aissa (a senior border collie/chow), Maggie May (a puppy Great Pyrenees), Mathilde and Morrigan and 1 baby brother, Bagheera. We are all watched over by our angel Brendol, who was dx with OSA 1/30/13, amp on 2/6/13, and left us on 8/20/13.
You can read their stories at http://adelaide.tripawds.com and http://brendol.tripawds.com
Thank you, Carol, Sally, Lori, Amy, and Karma.....your words of understanding and support mean so much right now, as I am dealing with this situation. Each one of you have certainly fought your own battles, and yet are so comforting to all the rest of us here.....I just hope to be as loving and giving as each one of you.
After re-reading what I wrote above, I felt absolutely terrible about how I worded the sentence involving some here, that their pets "lived a decent amount of time"......OMG, how insensitive that sounded!! I did not mean to sound so heartless as what that seemed to say.......there is NEVER enough time with the ones we love, our pets, but especially our own human family members and friends, once they are diagnosed with something as awful as cancer. I hope you all can forgive that stupid lapse of judgement with my words.
Sally......I am heartbroken over the fact you had to lose your beloved husband to this horrible disease, I am so, so sorry for your loss of him. I truly love learning about you and everyone else here, and what they are going thru in life. Thank you for sharing that with me.
I do feel better, thanks to all of you.....we all have our own challenges in life, it's how we chose to meet those challenges. All of you make me a way better person just for knowing you.
Keeping all of you in my heart today, and everyday.....
Much Love,
Bonnie & Angel Polly
I think Sally said it best ... we can only hope ... hope for the best. Hope for the positive things. Hope that our furbabies know how blessed they are.
I am with you - as I further down this journey it scares me to log on some days because I feel like we have made so many friends and I hesitate to see sad news. It breaks my heart and shakes me in ways I didn't think were possible since I have only "known" many of you for a few months. But I think where we can celebrate as a family, we can grieve as a family. Nothing on earth - human or canine (or feline) is a sure thing ... every moment is precious. I can't always be "suzy sunshine" and I find myself wondering if WE will be next.
I am always sad to see the new ones starting this journey but I do remember that the collective wisdom and help of the elders (aka experience) helped us greatly. And that I feel is my and Shelby's mission right now - Shelby got sick to help others ... her experiences have to shed some light and hope and understanding. Because I remember how scared I was of everything, how overwhelmed I felt and how sometimes when I read the newbies I want to say, pshaw, it gets better! But then I remember how I felt when it was all going down.
So that is why we come back all the time ... Like someone said when I first joined, it is not a group anyone WANTS to be a member of but one that as a family we can love and support each other.
Hugs to you!
Alison and Shelby
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
I agree, its all about hope. Seeing all the dogs (and cats) on here doing great and fighting this gives ME hope, it makes me feel better, even though my Jake is already gone. We have SO much knowledge we can share. We understand their fears, their sorrows, and their joys. We've been there and done this - from the beginning to the end. I don't think you'll upset anyone or make anyone lose hope. As much as we all want our dogs to be the one to kick cancers ass, the reality is that its not just not possible for all of us. There are going to be great stories and really sad ones, I think we all understand that. Plus, you never know how your posts may affect someone here. There may be something you did with/for Polly, it might be something you think is so small, that might be just the thing someone needed. I think its a great honor to Polly's life for you to post.
Mom to Tripawd Angels Jake (2001-2014) and Rosco (2012-2015) and Tripawd Tanner. “Whatever happens tomorrow, we had today; and I'll always remember it”
Hi Bonnie,
I think it is really important that you are here to tell Polly's story (and Maggie's too) and to celebrate them!
Cancer is scary.....though Tuck did not have osteosarcoma and did not have to have chemo he did have cancer! There are no guarantees on this journey and your support and the grace with which you have faced the loss of two beautiful pups in your life is a gift to all of us on this site.
Many hugs
Linda and Tucker
Hi Polly!
Being new myself I want you to know that I love hearing from people who have been through this.. no matter what their outcome was. It makes me feel better that there are people who can help me through this and who are willing to open their hearts to share the journey. And to be brutally honest, it's the reality of this awful disease. There are no guarantees and every dog is different. It scares me to see those who lost their battle to soon, but it also scares me to see those who have made it so much farther than "expected" because what if that's not us? What if we don't get that lucky and our journey isn't as "great" as those? As a "newbie" I thank you for sharing your story and your knowledge!
Hugs
Cody and Family
Cody is our 7 year old Australian Heeler mix boy. Diagnosed on 2/20/14 and became a tripawd 2/21/14! We chose a homeopathic approach and he is being treated by Dr. Loops our of NC.
Bonnie, this is definitely a good place to post your feelings about this subject. And you were most definitely not being insensitive, really.
Trust me, you aren't the only one who's ever felt this way, and that goes for yours truly as well. There were many times when we were after we joined the "Tripawd Angel Club" that I wondered how my support could possibly help others when our own cancer battle was over.
Everyone questions their ability to help others when they're coping with us great loss. For some, they cannot bear to come back, and I can't blame them at all, totally get it. Everyone is different. Some need time to heal, and then they return, others don't, and that's OK too. We would never hold it against anyone, ever.
What is most important over everything else right now, is helping your heart to heal. If that means you don't have it in you to respond to newcomers, that's OK. Like the saying goes, you can't save someone else until you save yourself first. It's a cliche but it's true. We want you to feel good again, and not feel drained because you're trying to be there for others when you aren't there for yourself.
And if you do want to help others, now or at some other point in the future, always remember that it's a fine line between being honest and letting others know what they might expect, and giving them hope by pointing out the many times when statistics go out the window and a Tripawd defies the odds. It does happen, and I've seen it enough here that my heart has more faith and hope inside than it ever did before. It can happen, we just have to hope, and take things one day at a time.
I don't know if this helps, but I hope that everyone's terrific insight here has lightened your grief just a little bit and brought some comfort to you on a difficult day. {{{{{hugs}}}}}
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
Thank you, Alison, Elizabeth, Linda, and Angela......the support is so deeply appreciated, and has helped me look at things a little differently and much more positive. I will admit to being a bit of a pessimist on a regular basis, but being here with all of you wonderful Tripawd friends, has honestly given me a totally different outlook in life. It almost feels as if the weight of the world is lifted, and I can definitely see through the fog so much better.
Love and hugs to all of you, and you all certainly have a special place within my heart....
Bonnie & Angel Polly
And thank you Jerry, so much for everything, as well....you got your post in just before I posted mine.
Boy Bonnie, See how mich good you did by posting your feelings today...bh being brave enough and vulnerable enough to do that!!!? WOW!!
This post needs to be a "primer" to be sent out to all tripawd members! Great, great feedback and insight in every single response!! Good stuff!! I know it helped me!!
HOWEVER.....there is one thing that I'm sure set everyone off into a fit of RAGE!!! Yes! Rage missy!! YOU ANGERED US!! Yes you did.....but only because we love you so!! 
DO NOT EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER USE THE WORD INSENSITIVE IN THE SAME SENTENCE WITH YOUR NAME!!!!! We ALL knew what yo meant for goodness sakes!! Yo silly goose!! Someone so full of love and compassion...are you kidding me?? To call my friend Bonnie insensitive.....OMD!! We're gonna let it slide this time, okay?? But never again...not our friend...not our Bonnie!
We ALL feel better because of this post Bonnie ......thank you and everyone here for the "warm fuzzies"
Pass the chocolate.....we could all use somez!!
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOU!!
Sally and Happy Hannah
PS....If you see any feathers in the next day or so...know they're from Polly.....she things s you're a silly goose sometimes too.....or else she just caught her first goose...not sure exacty which!!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Don't be afraid of scaring newly diagnosed cancer pet parents. I think everyone that comes here because of the cancer diagnosis realizes how unpredictable the whole situation is... we all hope for the best, and unfortunately the reality of it is that the overwhelming majority of us will not "cure" our dog's cancer.
I'm so glad that there are people that have gone through this and their dogs are still alive... but yes, I am envious and I am not proud of that at all. It has only been 4 months since Athena left, and it will take many more months before I can resolve the whole situation with myself.
I think being honest about everything that you have gone through (even if it has not been positive!) and being there to support new members and answer their questions is the most important part of this site. We are human... we are allowed to feel the entire range of emotions when dealing with such an earth-shattering series of events that effects a dog that we love.
04/09/13- OSA Diagnosis ~ 04/23/13- Left Forelimb Amputation ~ Carboplatin Chemo (6 total)
July 2006-November 18, 2013
I will always love you, Athena.
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