Tripawds Three Legged Dog & Cat Forum Archives

I'm reposting this in the "Anything Goes" since some east coasters and northern folks may not have looked into the topic with the Pawty in Mill Valley, California.   I didn't peek in for while since I can't go to the  pawty.

But Maxidad wrote this hysterical post on Bernie bid Laden! 

 

(Setup - Bernie is Maxidad's new puppy.  Linda is their sweet lab. Bernie is going to the Mill Valley pawty)

 

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Bernie is looking forward to it – see for yourself.

 

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Actually, as I look at the photo, that’s truer than I realized at first.  Based on the Newport Harbor shoreline in the background and the direction Bernie is looking, he was staring upcoast in the direction of Mill Valley at the moment this picture was taken.

As for Linda, she just wants to go to Mill Valley so all your dogs will distract Bernie for a while.  That way he’ll leave her alone and she can play with her ball, which is all she ever wants to do in the first place.

  

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And fair warning, Mary – Bernie is going to go completely mental when he meets Cemil.  We have no idea why, but he’s absolutely obsessed with big dogs like mastiffs or great danes.  No matter what he’s doing at the time, as soon as he sees Cemil Bernie will drop everything and tear straight over to him, desperate to make friends.  Fortunately, Cemil is a good-natured dog who hopefully won’t mind a hyper puppy squirming around his legs and jumping up to lick his face. 

This is all assuming, of course, that Bernie lives long enough to come visit in the first place.  Last month the danger was from him eating things he shouldn’t; this month the danger is me trying to restrain myself from committing puppycide.  A couple of weeks ago, I got rid of my old Chevy Trailblazer and bought a new 2011 Honda Pilot.  Great SUV – plenty of internal space and headroom for someone my height, and a very spacious rear cargo area for the mutts.  The dealer even threw in the tough rubber cargo mat for when the dogs are wet, shedding, or filthy (and our dogs are usually one or more of those things).  There’s even a third row of seats folded under the cargo area, on the off chance we’d ever have enough people in the truck to need it.

So I drove the truck off the lot just after noon on Saturday about two weeks ago.  My wife and I decided to load the dogs up and show the truck to my parents at their house in Newport Beach, which is about a fifteen minute drive from where we live.  On the way there, we even commented on how good Bernie was being as we drove.  He was nice and quiet, and we figured he was just sitting there quietly and behaving himself for once.

That was a really stupid assumption.

Here’s a photo of Bernie bin Laden after he managed to devalue my new truck only three hours after I drove it off the lot.

 

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The real pisser here is that it’s not easy to mangle a seatbelt like that.  I’ve been a cop for a long time, and I’ve had to cut through seatbelts in order to get people out of wrecked cars. Seatbelts are purposely made tough – you have to buy a knife serrated in a certain way in order to cut through them at all.  In retrospect, I should have saved money on the knife and just carried around a pocketful of puppy teeth instead.

Only a vague hope that the little demon-seed might someday be socially acceptable keeps me from murdering him.  No jury would convict me…