Thank you soo much for your support and positivity and well wishes.

I called the oncologist's office this morning and told them that this is an emergency and either I go to them or I go the ER. So they put me on hold for a long time and told me that they had nothing available earlier (than our 3pm appointment) and told me that I could  "camp out" in their waiting room and they would do their best to see us earlier. *PERFECT* ... I drank my coffee ... and got on the road.

Fought insane traffic and got there at 11:00 and carried him inside... and as soon as we walked through the door, they swooped in and took him to the back. (He's wheezing/snorting/snoring? Congested?) and everyone was alarmed by how sick he appeared. Which made me incredibly nervous.

They ran a bunch of tests and determined that his WBC were ... elevated? (I wasn't expecting that). They also said that he was clearly fighting an infection based on the counts and by looking at cells on a slide. They also said that his organ function was excellent ... and his lymph nodes seem to be stable (the clinical trial coordinator makes the final determination. But, he may not be removed from the clinical trial). 

They gave him Sub-Q fluids, different antibiotics ... and Dr. Post thinks that he should start feeling better by the end of the day. If not, I'll need to bring him back tomorrow.  (I can tell that the sub Q fluids work).

So some highlights from the day:

1. When I carried him into the vet's office. He decided that he need to greet every person in the waiting area.  And he totally, took his time and walked around and said hello (thank God we were in a vet's office, with animal lovers)

2. As a beautiful golden retriever came out from treatment, he stood up and wagged his little tail like a crazy person.

3. When we got home from the vet, Mom was in the yard and I said to Emerson. "Who is that? LOOOK? Who's that"... and he stood up, hopped his feet up onto the car door and looked out and saw my mom and gave another hearty tail wag. (there were zero tail wags yesterday)

4. We've been home for an hour, and he's walked to his water bowl 3 times and had a sip. Mom said she's going to make some chicken stock for him and we'll see if he'll drink it, like water.

We're not out of the woods, but I'm more hopeful now than I was just a few hours ago.

Just as I began to take a breath.... again I got nervous.

he woke up from a nap on the floor and sounded incredible congested and had labored breathing.... back at the ER.

Waiting. I am afraid. My poor little baby.

we spent about 3 hours at the ER... They gave him some medicine and he definitely started to improve. But, he was sedated and still seemed to be struggling to breathe.

He wasn't in pain, his gums look nice and pink...and his fever had come down to almost-normal. So, although the antibiotic worked it may be that his airways are really inflamed? I"m not sure .... it all kinda doesn't make sense.  

All I know is that he was his belly was working soooo hard to take those breaths. 

if this doesn't improve by tomorrow, i'll need to make some decisions.

this is all unfair.