"Our vet has given us 6 months or less without but with chemo she said we would get a year or more"

It would be great if that were how it really worked--that the diagnosis and prognosis were like a poorly wrapped christmas present, and we knew just by looking at it what we were going to get when we were given it.

But we don't. In truth, no one knows...odds are just odds. And averages are aggregates from all sorts of cases. Some dogs survive years without chemo...others don't make three weeks with it. Nothing is a guarantee--hell, WE aren't even guaranteed a tomorrow, no matter how hale and hearty we are today.

No matter which path you take, and whatever the outcome...there will always be an infinite number of paths not taken--and an infinite number of outcomes that didn't happen. All you can do is make an informed decision--and make it with love and compassion, and in the best interests of everyone involved. And by "everyone" I mean, you, your family, and Dexter...no one else matters.

Dexter doesn't regret anything. Dexter doesn't feel guilty. Dexter doesn't know--or care--about the odds of this treatment protocol or that. He knows you are his world, and that he had some pain and now it's gone, and that once he gets the hang of peeing without tipping over, he's got some prime nap time and play time and try-and-sneak-into-the-catbox time to catch up on.    

Did you do what was right for Dexter and for you? Then you did the right thing. You may have six months, you may have 26. No one knows, but don't spend them on regret or guilt. Go live them and enjoy the hell out of them.

It's a tough call, but one that's made with love.  So long as that's the primary reason, you've done everything right by Dexter!  Fight on!!

~ Katy & Jackson

My dog had a soft tissue cancer and chemo was not appropriate for that. Before getting the path report back, though, my family discussed the possibilities and decided we would not do chemo. A large part of the reason was financial. Everyone here--everyone--thinks of money. We have to. It's not tacky or crude or embarrassing. It's reality. What good is it to take money away from needed places to treat our animal companions if it means we lose out in other areas? Is it right to buy our dog another 6 months (and as Megan pointed out that's a crap shoot anyway) and be unable to make rent?

And like TJ who was mentioned, my guy hated the car with a passion. If I had packed him up for vet visits for chemo, he would probably have had a shorter life simply from the anxiety. If riding in the car made him vomit, how could I tell him I wanted him to live an extra 6 months just so he could repeat the process every couple of weeks?

There are no guarantees for anything. You have decided to do the most important thing and take off the source of pain. Everything after that is flexible. As long as the decisions you make are made out of love and responsibility, there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty over anything. Guilt is great for reminding us we screwed up and need to make changes next time, but it's paralyzing for things like this that are not black and right. Don't let guilt or what-ifs keep you from enjoying the second chance you've got now. Go and have fun and enjoy every minute!

Shari

I came back to add that we did NOT do chemo, either...for a variety of reasons (all of which I blogged about at some point, I'm sure).

We had six months post-op (although I realize now, looking back at photos and behavior that Sam's lesion was present for at least that long before diagnosis). And it was six good months. Would everyone have done things the way we did? No. I am sure there are some people who thought we didn't do enough, and others who thought we did too much.

But I know now, looking back, that I would not have changed a thing for US. When Sam died, it was a difficult thing to go through, and tremendously sad...but at the same time, I tell people that it was a HAPPY story, from beginning to end. I don't regret a second of our journey (which is not the same as wondering "what if", mind you), and in many ways, the final six months of Sampson's life were some of the most remarkable ones we had in our more than 13 years together.

Certainly there were stresses and challenges. There was heartbreak and frustration. But there were also moments of silly, giddy success over all of the dumb everyday things in life. There was appreciation for and revelation in all of the things that made Sam, Sam--both the good and the not-so-good. There was a real evaluation of what it means to both live well and die well--and not just for our pets, but for us, as people as well.

In a way, I think the experience was sort of like salt. Can it sting and burn in a sore spot? Yes. But despite that, it served as a simple additive that heightened all of the other flavours of our lives, and made them sharper, richer, and more clear.

It was absolutely a transformative time, and although it was filled with a cavalcade of emotions (and not anywhere near all of them happy-skippy-dippy ones to be sure)...I do not regret or have guilt over one single second of it, and I think it's one of the greatest gifts the two of us could have given each other.*

So, go do what you and Dexter do best--whatever that is and whatever it means for you. Listen to people, ask their advice, absolutely, but don't let anyone else make you feel guilty...and anyone else includes your own inside voice

*(And absolutely better than some of the dead and mostly dead gifts that Sam would bring me...or wave at and refuse to bring me. But then again, it's the thought that counts, right? :D)

We decided last week not to do chemo for our girl after her right front leg was removed due to soft tissue sarcoma. Her surgery was about two weeks ago. We don't know if the tumor has metastasized or not yet. While Kira's lungs are clear,  there are no guarantees it won't show up. We decided to make whatever time we have left together the best it can be without further attempts to rid her body of cancer cells. It was a tough decision and we weighed all the circumstances for several days after the diagnosis. To me, there is no "right" or "wrong" decision in this situation. We make the best, loving choices we can for our fur kids and that's all we can do.

I love everyone's advice in this thread. Wishing you much love and companionship in your time with Dexter.