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My cousin directed me to this article from a house-call vet who does almost nothing but euthanasia. http://seattlet.....nasia.html
I thought it might be helpful because she lists some things to look for to help know when it's time to let your pet go. Interestingly, she says the statement "you'll know when it's time" adds stress to the situation because she feels many people fixate on that and then worry. Also, she does't believe every pet does let its humans know. She does agree with all of us here, though, that it's better to err on the side of too soon than too late.
Shari
From abandoned puppy to Tripawd Warrior Dude, Dakota became one of the 2011 February Furballs due to STS. Our incredibly sweet friend lived with grace and dignity till he impulsively raced over the Bridge on 12-15-12.
Dakota's thoughtful and erudite blog is at http://shari.tr.....pawds.com/
Thanks Shari, but I cried when I read the parts about the cancer and especially the one dog who's cancer had spread to the spine and ribs and she had fractured her spine and was in pain, but the owner was not ready to let her go. This is is well written article with good guidelines. I liked the stories off to the right hand side.
Cadence's Mom
Cadence Faye: Born 10/30/04, stepped into our hearts 12/23/2004. Rear leg tumor found 7/24/11 by mom and dad, Xray on 7/25/11, Osteosarcoma suspected 7/26/11, amputation 7/29/11, Carboplatin started 8/23. Met free so far!
Thanks for sharing this link!
For anyone reading this who has not already sen it, here is the link to our two part article describing in detail How We Knew Wen to Say Goodbye to Jerry. As you will see from the number of comments, many people have found it helpful.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
For what it's worth, I've always found Jerry's story to be about the most balanced and sensible accounting of how to know. The good part was that Jerry didn't need an instant release from distress. Many of us have time to plan; we know what's coming. The awful thing is when something happens and it's 2 a.m. on Saturday of a holiday weekend. Sick pets and pregnant women picks those days pretty often.
From abandoned puppy to Tripawd Warrior Dude, Dakota became one of the 2011 February Furballs due to STS. Our incredibly sweet friend lived with grace and dignity till he impulsively raced over the Bridge on 12-15-12.
Dakota's thoughtful and erudite blog is at http://shari.tr.....pawds.com/
Thanks Shari, that's sweet. It emotionally wiped my folks out when they wrote it.
Yes, like we told Fergus' mom the other day, better too soon than too late. It's been our experience that humans who wait too long to make the decision suffer far more guilt than those who decide sooner rather than later. You must ask yourself: "how do I want to remember my pup?"
As heartbreaking as it is, what a gift that humans are allowed to make this decision for their animals so that they do not have to suffer any longer than necessary. Dying is hard, but living with the guilt of prolonging that decision is far worse. 
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
Knowing that Chloe is now cancer free is wonderful, but in the back of my mind I am always wondering how long I have left with her. After reading the article, I sincerely hope that Chloe will be one of the following:
"Most of the pets I see for end-of-life care are geriatric pets who have lived a full life, have just reached the end of the trail in one way or another, seem ready to pass but are having trouble doing it on their own."
Every time I get frustrated with her about something, I force myself to take a step back and try to appreciate that I have this opportunity to be "frustrated" since that means she is still living, breathing, and in my life. I usually can't stay frustrated for long because her adorable puppy eyed face with a light tail wag gets me every time.
I hope that I can be a good judge of when "her time comes" because I know that I would be one of "those people" who feel guilty if she is in pain. Always good to remind us that it is about them and the quality of their life.
-Chloe's mom
P.S. going to rub down chloe right now and tell her how much I love her 
Chloe became a rear amp tripawd on 7-29-10. Another tumor was removed on front leg 2-20-14. Found 3rd tumor on neck 2-2015, but she's still kicking cancer's butt at age 14. Chloe's blog
It was good to read this article. I know I have shared that I have tremendous guilt over letting Shy go. There was just no clear signs, other than her last fight with me regarding her pills. I think of her now with guilt, which has colored my memories. Everytime I think of her I tell her I am sorry.
This article written by a vet makes me feel a little better about putting my Shy to sleep. She wasn't really in pain, her mind was just leaving her. I would find blankets all over, boxes gone through and everything pulled out, her getting stuck in corners and the the chairs in the livingroom pushed out from when she got stuck behind them.
There were many good days though, and physically I am sure she would have still been with me now if I hadn't made that choice for her. Did the good days outweigh the bad? I didn't think so. Everyday was good and bad, sometimes more bad then good. So, reading this article helps because the vet describes that it is good to go earlier then later, and I wouldn't have wanted her to suffer any more fear and confusion while I was at work and not able to help her to find her way out.
Thanks for the posting,
Elizabeth and Sammy
Diagnosed with osteosarcoma in the right front leg 8/23/10,
leg fractured 8/27/10,
leg amputated 8/30/10
http://sammyand.....pawds.com/
I couldn't begin to say how special Sammy is to us. Living and laughing with and loving this wonderful boy is priceless.
Elizabeth, your last comment is really where I personally think your focus should be. You say Shy wasn't in physical pain (you don't think), but aren't constant fear and confusion painful for people? I think so. Psychological pain is just as bad as physical pain and sometimes more so.
I remember your descriptions of Shy's behavior, and I remember how anxious and frightened you were that she was terrified about not knowing what was going on. I would just cringe when you wrote about having to pull her out from behind the couch or some corner. I was imagining how unhappy she had to be living like that. To be honest, Elizabeth, I don't think Shy could have asked for your help finding the Bridge any more clearly than she did. You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty, though I know you will because you have a tremendous amount of empathy toward your dogs.
If I were a dog, Elizabeth, I think I would be incredibly safe in your care. If you told me it was time to go, I would trust you. I know you make mistakes, but I don't think this is one you need to worry about. You did the right thing at the right time.
Shari
From abandoned puppy to Tripawd Warrior Dude, Dakota became one of the 2011 February Furballs due to STS. Our incredibly sweet friend lived with grace and dignity till he impulsively raced over the Bridge on 12-15-12.
Dakota's thoughtful and erudite blog is at http://shari.tr.....pawds.com/
That is a helpful article, Shari. We found Jerry's story helpful, too. We read it at the beginning of our journey so we would know what to expect. Also, we read Trouble's story. It was so heartbreaking, but it gave us information so we would know what to ask our vet for and what to expect.
That being said, our vet is truly amazing. She promised us from the beginning that she would help us make the decision for Bo before he started suffering. We made the decision at exactly the right time and she helped make Bo's passing very calm and peaceful.
Shari,
what you said is such a relief to me and brought tears to my eyes. I sent you a pm of much gratitude 🙂
Hugs,
Elizabeth
Diagnosed with osteosarcoma in the right front leg 8/23/10,
leg fractured 8/27/10,
leg amputated 8/30/10
http://sammyand.....pawds.com/
I couldn't begin to say how special Sammy is to us. Living and laughing with and loving this wonderful boy is priceless.
Elizabeth, I got your PM and I will reply to you. However, anyone here would echo what I said. You are one of the kindest, most empathetic people here. You would never do anything to Shy or Sammy or any animal except out of love. And I know that any dog in distress would rather leave a day early than a day late, so if you are afraid Shy left a bit early, you can tell yourself that she left before she was miserable. She left before she had to beg you to take her.
When our dog Belle got old, my husband and I disagreed on when her time was due. She had spinal myelopathy so she lost the use of her rear legs, gradually but eventually completely. She laid on her bed on waterproof pads and I changed them if she leaked. We carried her outside to potty (she still had that control till her last week). All this time, I kept saying "she's ready" and my husband would say "but she's still happy." And she was. She had a favorite toy and got excited over it. Even from her bed, she was the queen and very involved. She barked at the other dogs and kept us all in line. I couldn't imagine her having good quality of life, though, because she couldn't move if she wasn't carried.
That was her last 6 months and I hated it. She lost weight; she didn't have an appetite and we had to keep trying new ways to get a few calories into her. Her coat got brittle and dry and ugly. She looked so incredibly old. But she still perked up when we gave her that damned stuffed squirrel, so my husband would not consider letting her go. Even as she went from 86 pounds to 55. Keep in mind she didn't hurt, or I never would have tolerated this. We could stand her up and she would lean against us and sniff and enjoy the sunshine. She still seemed ok, if not thrilled.
Finally, one day I took her out to pee and she had a stroke. It was awful, horrendous, terrifying. I can still see it and it's been 4 1/2 years. I carried her inside to her bed and she coudn't even sit up anymore. I had to put the bed against the wall and prop her up. I was petting her and talking to her and she looked at me like she never had before. It was an intensity that I felt. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if she could talk she would have said "I didn't want to do that but you wouldn't believe me otherwise. Let me go."
If I could go back in time for Belle, I would have taken the last 6 months from her. Not a day or a week, but 6 months. I hope when I see her again she says "it's ok ma, I forgive you." Because I feel guilty that I made her endure and tolerate when she should have been enjoying life. Never again.
Shari
From abandoned puppy to Tripawd Warrior Dude, Dakota became one of the 2011 February Furballs due to STS. Our incredibly sweet friend lived with grace and dignity till he impulsively raced over the Bridge on 12-15-12.
Dakota's thoughtful and erudite blog is at http://shari.tr.....pawds.com/
Shari,
That sounds to me like you carry the same burden. I have to tell you that with each dog that is ours we have these types of endings to deal with. Just like you told me in the pm. My Jazzy suffocated in the end, she was a 17 year old rottie, and I wrung every minute out of her that I could get. On her final day, after 2 years of being in adult depends diapers and being picked up off the floor in the last 6 months, we were playing with her toy and her throat closed up, she was gasping for air.
I rushed her to the vet and we waited an extra 20 minutes for my husband to get there, and we let her go. I know what you mean, in retrospect. I loved her so much, she was a smart and amazing girl. I could trust her to do anything, probably even brain surgery if she had opposable thumbs! The point is, I waited too long too, for my Jazzy. I shouldn't have even waited for my husband to get there. I know my girl will forgive me, just like yours will you. It is easier in my mind to end their life when it is obvious suffering. It isn't the kindest thing for them though is it?
I am sorry you carry that weight of regret, but you couldn't have done anything differently. You had two opinions to contend with, and if you had made that choice without your husband agreeing, there could have been huge resentments. Maybe he should read this article, for any future choices that need to be made?
Anyway, at least we have the choice to help our furry kids if need be. I will probably always have "flashbacks" of mistakes made, but it is with the best of intentions, as with you.
I will never have an understanding of people who take the life of their pet because they are moving, or are no longer interested. Boy we will need several pages to hash that one out! Thanks for letting me know there are others who wrestle demons.
Elizabeth
Diagnosed with osteosarcoma in the right front leg 8/23/10,
leg fractured 8/27/10,
leg amputated 8/30/10
http://sammyand.....pawds.com/
I couldn't begin to say how special Sammy is to us. Living and laughing with and loving this wonderful boy is priceless.
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