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Ursa's cancer is back. How do we help our preschooler with this?
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Vermont
Member Since:
25 May 2012
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9 May 2013 - 8:21 am
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Hi, there. Our beautiful tripawd Ursa's tumor is back (just weeks before her one year ampuversary on May 31st and her 8th birthday on June 21st). The cancer has spread to her lungs. We're in her final weeks and trying to help our four year old process. I would love any helps, advice, suggestions, books that might help us help her. We're floundering. More details here:http://blogalac.....her-dog-2/

 

My heart is absolutely breaking and I want to do my best to help our whole family through this process. I'm writing through everything on a blog have I'd for four years about our family (http://blogalacart.com) - and instagramming her daily here: instagram.com/blogalacart

Thanks for any support or help you can provide.

 

25757159_sctRLk-29.jpegImage Enlarger

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On The Road


Member Since:
24 September 2009
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9 May 2013 - 9:10 am
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Ashley my heart breaks for you, I'm really sorry to hear this. I know this news is like starting over from point A, it hurts.

How bad are the mets? Keep in mind that even when cancer gets to this stage, a prognosis is still a guess; many dogs have gone on to live beyond anyone's expectations despite the mets. Has the vet prescribed anything? Metronomic chemotherapy can slow down the process and stabilze the metastasis. And when you want some hope, remember that Sassy is one who's kicking those met's butts right now. I hope her story makes you feel better. And as for me, I lived seven great months after some pretty huge mets were found.

OK, so as far as how to cope....well if you are doing as I suspect, living to the fullest and enjoying every second, then don't change a thing. There will be plenty of time to mourn, to cry, later, but not now. Take a look at Ursa, she's not grieving, she's not counting the days off, she is still the same dog as always. Just see what Sampson's Momma has to say:

Wise Words About Death and Dying

I think there are more qualified people than I to help you when it comes to kids and coping with loss, but I do know of a few books that can help when the time is right:

Pet Loss Books to Ease a Child’s Broken Heart

Please check our "Grief Support Resources" here in Coping with Loss, there's lots of good information in there too.

My heart goes out to you, we are here for you so please keep in touch.

 

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

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Virginia



Member Since:
22 February 2013
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9 May 2013 - 10:26 am
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Ursa is a beautiful girl and is certainly living life to the fullest! You have given her superb care.....a year.....that's quite an inspiration:-) :-)

I can only add ditto to everything Jerry said.

Ursa's. not worried about time frames or mets------she's just focused on the joy of the moment. The time to grieve will come----right now it's the time to savor every wag of the tail'
, every happy treat time, every snuggle? Don't let anything rob you of the time you have together.....Ursa'a not!

After you review some of the treatment options above you may find them to be useful

You are a strong, committed advocate for Ursa and your love is the best treatment of all:-) :-)

Please keepmusposted, We are all here for you walking by your side.

Sending you strength, calm and serenity, Sally and Happy Hannah

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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16 May 2009
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9 May 2013 - 11:28 am
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Oh gosh, I am so sorry.  She is gorgeous and I know this will be difficult for you all.  :(

It is never easy, and of course, it's always hard for us to discuss these things with very young children - but you know, children are a lot more accepting than you think, sometimes.  They have a limited awareness of what death means, and it can be surprisingly easy to help them through something like this if you approach it without too much expectation.

I'm sure the books linked to will have better suggestions than I will, but I'd just explain to her that Ursa is very sick and though everyone thought she was getting better, she is not, and that very soon her body will be too tired to continue.  Gently tell her that nobody can help Ursa, and when she is too sick to enjoy life, it's going to be her time to leave you and move on to wherever your belief system says we go after we die. 

If you don't have a strong faith or belief in a hereafter, you can just say that our pets go to a place called the Rainbow Bridge where they can play all day, or even simply explain that every living thing dies in the end and that we have to leave this earth.  Whatever you feel is acceptable. 

There are a number of wonderful stories circulating on the internet about parents worriedly telling their children that a beloved pet must die soon and the child coming out with something so wise and spontaneous that it takes their breath away.  Children can amaze us.  And we worry so much about them, don't we?  Hugs to you, too.

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Southwestern Ontario, Canada
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22 November 2012
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9 May 2013 - 11:31 am
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I am in the exact same boat are you are in....  and I know for a fact, (along with everyone else here) how hard it is.. how frustrating.. how upsetting and angry you can get... how lost you feel... 

but... Like all these beloved pet owners here have told me..  they are still being a dog.. their tails are still wagging... still enjoying each day....   still eating and pooping and farting!!!  well.. my guy does anyhow... lol  

Sampson's momma is a pretty smart lady... I read her posts.. as well as others on what to expect now that the mets are in their lungs.. and it has again, educated me in what to expect and how to cope.

Spoil her... rotten!!

As for dealing with our children.. I'm afraid I don't have any advice except be truthful.  They handle things differently than us adults to.  I was very open with my kids when they were younger on animals.. and their lifespan... even down to the sharks in our tank!!  lol

I remember my daughter was 6 (gah! 15 years ago!!) when our other springer Brandy went to Rainbow Bridge...   she cried for about 5 minutes.. wiped her eyes and said... "can we get another dog?"  geesh... lol

Everyone is here for us to vent.. and offer kind words to sooth our pain.  It's funny how we can be comforted in front of a screen by someone we have never physically met.  I'll take it... anytime.

good luck

Christine & Franklin

 

 

Franklin, he was the Happiest Dog on Three Legs! Diagnosed 09/26/2012 with Osteosarcoma, amputated 12/4/2012.  Had a wonderful 5 1/2 months painfree until he ran for the Bridge on 5/15/2013.  Always in my heart, and always a guardian angel of my pack...   You can follow his Tripawd Adventures, before and after, in my blog, Frank'n'Farter!

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New Haven, CT
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27 December 2012
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9 May 2013 - 7:50 pm
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She's a beauty!  Just a stunner.  Damn that rotten cancer for hitting such a loved, lovely lady.  I'm so sad and so angry for you.  For all of us.  Like Jerry, I'd like to know how it's been assessed she's got "weeks."  It may be more!  Yes?  No?  I guess in the end, it doesn't matter.  Love her up like you always have and enjoy all the times together.  Every day is a gift.

I lost my first family at a young age - not a preschooler, but still young.  It still will yank up some tears.  That's not a bad thing.  Your little biped-human may take it hard, or not.  Maybe since you seem concerned, she's the sort to take it hard.  Who knows, out of this may spring the next great canine cancer Vet!  I love the words that Jay had for her: your pup is sick and will one day be too tired, too ill to fight and there's this wonderful things we can do for our loved, sick, ill pups....

Good luck to your pup and to your little girl!

~ Katy

ACL tear in right hind leg 12/5/12 and scheduled ACL repair surgery 12/21/12. Pre-op xrays revealed osteosarcoma. Amputation 12/28/12.  Chemo (carboplatin) started Jan 10, 2013 and ended on April 5, for a total of 5 doses. He handled carbo like a champ!  No side effects.  We started metronomic therapy at his third chemo and have been also doing some holistic treatments.  He's a lively, playful 10 year old huskie-boarder collie and a very proud member of the Winter Warriors!  Our love. Our funny little guy!

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16 October 2012
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9 May 2013 - 8:51 pm
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What a beautiful girl.  I am so sorry that you have to go through this.  Sassy also has mets.  We are loving on her each & every day.  I can't really add to how to explain to a child as I don't have any. 

 

Bless you & your family

 

Michelle & Sassy

sassymichelle-sm.jpg

Sassy is a proud member of the Winter Warriors. Live long, & strong Winter Warriors.
sassysugarbear.tripawds.com
07/26/2006 - Sassy earned her wings 08/20/2013

05/04/2006 -  Bosch, Sassy's pal, earned his wings 03/29/19  fought cancer for 4 months.

"You aren't doing it TO her, you are doing it FOR her. Give her a chance at life."

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On The Road


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9 May 2013 - 9:08 pm
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Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

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Montana
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1 February 2013
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9 May 2013 - 9:56 pm
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Make beautiful memories with Ursa and dance like you've never danced before. Take lots of pictures and make something special out of a lock of hair. All our thoghts are with you and Ursa.

Spirit Shooter was a Miniature Australian Shepherd who was diagnosed with a MCT and had a LF amp 1/28/13 at 13-1/2 years old. 

Shooter crossed the Bridge on 8/28/13, his 7 month ampuversary and two weeks from his 14th birthday.

http://shooter......ipawds.com

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