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As sad as I am, I'm oddly at peace as I type. Toffee has put up an amazing fight over the last month, she still had a few good moments here and there, she wagged her tail when I came home, she barked at a cat a few days ago. She still wanted to eat....she always wanted to eat. I told her I was going to do everything I could to make her feel better and she believed me.
We've realized her shoulder was swollen more and she had been in a lot of pain over the course of the last week or so. We called Doc yesterday to say it was time and he asked that we wait until today, let her spend the day with him, let him do a few more tests, let him see if he could find her a way to be better.
Doc called this afternoon and said he agreed her shoulder didn't look right. He explained it could be many things, but expected tumor. We agreed he would do exploratory surgery to see what was going on. He promised if he could "fix" it he would, if he couldn't, he would let us say our goodbye while she was still sleeping.
We got the call at 6:00.....Hemangiosarcoma. I've done some reading, but not much. Enough to know that even if it was that to start with and not OSA it wouldn't have had a different outcome. The tumor was behind her shoulder, pushing on her chest and had grown rapidly.
She was sleeping; breathing easier than she has in several weeks. I stroked her head and her stomach, told her how much I loved her and that I was going to fulfill my promise to make her feel better. Doc came in and was holding back tears as he gave her the injection. She breathed easy until she didn't. As she slowed, she told me it was okay.
Right now, as much as I hurt, Toffee doesn't.
Thank you to everyone, we didn't get to stay long, but you helped us so much while we were here.
Laura and Toffee
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Laura
You are so right- Toffee doesn't hurt anymore. That was the greatest gift you could give her. You were a wonderful mom and did all that you could- now she runs pain free with our Wrigley and Jerry and all the other super heroes in our tripawd heaven. It is so hard to say goodbye, and I hope your memories of the good times over shadow any sadness.
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Seanne and Angel Wrigley
Laura I am so sorry - didn't realize she was having such severe problems. You are such wonderful tripawd parents, and your doc sounds wonderful too. Toffee is now at peace. May you also be at peace at this difficult time.
Susan & Tazzie 2
Dear Laura,
I am so sorry. You did your best, and so did Toffee. She was a brave girl.
It also sounded the vet was very good, who did not leave any stone unturned.
Toffee must be already having a great time with so many friends to play with. You were Toffee's keeper on earth, now let the Father look after her in Heaven.
Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love,
Jessie
Laura,
I am so sorry about Toffee. I know you will miss her very much. Please try to take comfort in what you were able to do for her and that you choose to release her from her pain even at great pain to you. I had so hoped for a different outcome for Toffee. You will be in my prayers. Again, I am so sorry.
Debra
Debra & Emily, a five year old doberman mix, who was diagnosed with an osteosaecoma. She had a right rear leg amputation on May 19, 2009. On November 10, 2009 she earned her wings and regained her fourth leg.
Laura...I'm so sorry about Toffee. The love you have for her shines through your entire post, and that of the vet too. How wonderful to have such a person on your team. Also hers for you, the way she let you know it was okay.
You're in my thoughts and prayers tonight.
Hugs
Mary
Cemil and mom Mary, Mujde and Radzi….appreciating and enjoying Today
As with so many of the others that have passed, I once again have tears of sorrow, for our fallen friend, and for you Laura, who loved her so and gave her such a wonderful life. My hear breaks for you as you face the next few days adjusting to life with Toffee. Toffee had wonderful pawrents and a caring vet in her life here, and will have the many Tripawds who have fought before her at Rainbow Bridge.
Run Free sweet Toffee at Rainbow Bridge.
Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul. Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.
Laura,
My deepest condolences to you and your family. Toffee is now free from pain and you did everything you could to give her the best life possible up til the very end. Toffee was loved in life, and the wonderful life you shared together will live on in your memories. It is never easy to lose a fur baby, but always in the end, the pain is worth it to have experienced the love and joy that they gave us their short time here on earth with us. You both were very fortunate to have this time together.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Rest in peace sweet Toffee...there is no pain now at the Bridge.
Tina and Spirit Shadow
Laura, our hearts go out to you. Your touching post brought tears to our eyes, we are so, so sorry.
All that you did for Toffee is above and beyond what most people do, and Toffee was greytful for that, which is why I think you feel somewhat of a sense of peace tonight. I know that won't keep the tears from flowing, but we hope you can take comfort in knowing that you did everything you could for Toffee, and gave her an incredible quality of life despite the unfair hand she was dealt.
In the short time she fought so valiantly, she showed the world what courage dogs are truly made of. Thank you for sharing her story with us, it will always be here to help so many others who sadly, may find themselves in the exact same situation. Damn cancer.
Please know we send our deepest condolences, hugs, and love out to you. We're here to chat if you'd like some support. And if you want to post Toffee's photo here, please feel free to email it to us via our contact form.
Run free Toffee, and say hi to all of our favorite angel Tripawds. We love you for eternity.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
I am not nearly as eloquent as the people above, but I had to let you know how much you story has meant to me. I'm sure that your sense of peace is from doing all that you could for her and keeping your promises. ((HUGS))
Laura, My heart is breaking for you and your family. I am glad you are at peace, you know in your heart that you went above and beyond when caring for her. She knows she was loved and you by her. You were a wonderful caretaker on earth and now she is in heaven.
Toffee is breathing easy and running free. I am sorry you are sad and in pain, and I send you a hug as you grieve. I hope all the joyful memories will creep in and replace the sad days.
Gineej & Paris
Grateful for every moment we had with Paris…..no regrets!
Honoring her life by opening our hearts & home to Addy!
Laura,
Please accept our deepest sympathy at this moment and please forgive any typos that appear through the tear that we all shed while reading Toffee's story. The valiant fight that the two of you waged is a testiment of the wonderful love that was obvious to anyone who saw this story. We tip our hat to you for being willing to take on this fight for Toffee and to Toffee who did not want to leave this wonderful life you created for her. Yes, Toffee is no longer in the distress that this disease caused, but I know that this has left a canyon of a hole in your life. I have a page on my web site that is dedicated to those who shared such a special relationship. In addition to the Rainbow Bridge, I have a "Sunday Strip" from "For Better or Worse" which helps to remind me that we will never really be without them, for the gifts that they have given us will live with us forever. You may visit that page at: http://home.com.....sthere.htm
I know that Toffee's love will continue to fill you for all the rest of your life.
Bob & Cherry
Laura:
I am so sorry to hear about Toffee. I was really rooting for her. At least she is no longer in pain. She will always be with you.
My deepest condolences.
Kim and Tika
Kim and Spirit Tika http://www.tika.....ogspot.com
I'm sorry to hear about Toffee 🙁 Bless you for being with her through her cancer journey and for giving her all the love she deserves! You are an amazing dog mom, and she was (and will always be) and amazing dog.
<3 Laura and Jack
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