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Bella is getting her send off today | Coping with Loss

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Bella is getting her send off today
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20 July 2017 - 8:22 am
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As I write this, I'm still so torn.  Bella's quality of life is so not what she deserves.  She can't ambulate at all, and we take her out to do her business.  She has to lay there while we move her tail out of the way and then we take her in, lay her down and clean her.  She's still loving her food and drinks tons of water, but besides that, there is no life for her...no walks, no swims, no fetch.  This is a girl who lived for roaming and romping around outside.  When we first adopted Bella we immediately took her off leash walking in the land preserve trails near our home.  She would head off and at first we would be worried about where she was - but she always flanked us, and came right back on the trail.  And boy did she love to swim.  We didn't know when we first picked her up as an adopted pup - but then we took her to a nearby pond and she just jumped right in.  These are things she can no longer do and will never be able to do with her spine condition. 

Our vet Molly is coming this afternoon to help us send Bella off.  I am home from work today to spend time with Bella.  My husband has taken the past several weeks from work to be home with her.  She gets frantic when we leave the room where she is laying and she needs to be carried out frequently to pee and poop.  The prednisone she takes makes her so thirsty, frequent pee trips are needed. We love her so much - both of us would happily do this forever, but then I look at her eyes lately and I know she is frustrated and bored and I think a bit pissed off.

But I am definitely in that rabbit hole.  My head and most of my heart knows it is the right thing to do...but what if I'm wrong?  What if Bella could talk and say - "heck no, I want to hang around a bit more".  I wish I could tell for sure.  We could subject her to more surgery on her spine, but there is only a 50% chance it would alleviate the condition and she would have to have no movement for up to six months. This is a dog who was horribly abused prior to our adopting her.  We were told she was caged for days on end and her teeth were filed down to nubs from knawing at the rails to get out.  She would hate being confined like that.  So here we are.

Its so hard to picture life without her...the new norm.  I have other pets who need my love and attention, Maya (our little rascal rescue pup), Ziggy - my orange cat (the other man in the house), and Ninja - my tiny back kitty who we found hidden in a rock wall on our property.  They know Bella is bumming out lately and they have been giving her plenty of room and curious attention.  But my Bella is so special to me.  Most decisions are made around her...and the rest of our pets, but definitely Bella of late.  She is a glorious creature and I'll never love a dog - or any pet - as much as this sweet girl.

She's napping now so I can sob away.  I'll be brave and happy later when we need to be.  Thanks to all on this site for your caring, compassion and support.

Michigan
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20 July 2017 - 9:13 am
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I'm so very sorry that you have to say good-bye to Sweet Bella crying  You obviously have loved her so very much.  You've given her such  a wonderful life!  You have so many wonderful memories with her.  You saved her! heartYou showed her what love is and what home is and she knows that.  Now she can rest peacefully.

Hugs to you    

Donna

Donna, Glenn & Murphy  http://murphyh......pawds.com/

Murphy had his right front leg amputated due to histiocytic sarcoma at 7 years old.  He survived 4 years, 2 months & 1 week, only to be taken by hemangiosarcoma at 11 1/2 years 6/12/17  

Donna.png

Virginia
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20 July 2017 - 9:29 am
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Our dear sweet Brenda....this just breaks my heart to read. I am sooooo sad, so very sad and so cery, very sorry. It seems as though all we've done arpu d here lately is cry...And today is no exception. We cry eith you today. To jave the amazing Bella do soooo well and the to have the pinched nerve thing just sucks.

You know your Bella better than anyone. You know HER definition of quality better than anyone. You know her background, You knpw her fears and her dislikes (confinement is definitely at the top of her list of dislikes). She knows that you and your husband understand that she can no longer "be Bella". She is grateful that you understand who she is!

You have given Bella THE BEST LIFE POSSIBLE!!! Because of you, she knows what love feels like; She kows what joy feels like; she knows what happiness is!! And she knows how to give and receive schnuffies!!

You are freeing her of her earthly body that no longer serves her. She is avle to run to the Rainbow Bridge and swim all day long in cool pristine waters. She will be surrounded by a Paradise of nature...and wheelbarrows full of junk food!!

Today we celebrate Bella with you. Today we celebrate a life well lived and well loved. Tomorrow we shall grieve eith you and be here to support you every step of the way.

And tomorrow Bella will be telling everyone at the Bridge what a great rime she had with you and how she is still watching over you.....after her daily swims!

With all my heart

Sally and My Chunky Spiritual Being Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Virginia
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20 July 2017 - 9:33 am
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I wanted to add one more thing. What Bella IS saying is she doesn't need to hang around anymore jn this condition just for more tummy rubs and schnuffies. She has gotten a lifetime of those everyday with you! Now she's starting to have to pay a price for more loving and spoiling. Nah, she doesn't need to do that. She has enough love for an eternity and a day.

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

The Rainbow Bridge

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20 July 2017 - 10:34 am
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Ohhh I can hear in your voice the pain and uncertainty of your decision to set her free. But I can also read your words and know that in your deep down heart, you are absolutely making the call with all the love, devotion and concern for Bella's well-being. You've taken everything into consideration about her past, her present and what may or may not happen in her future. You have given this so much thought, that I'm sure your head is spinning and nobody can blame you. But clearly I can tell that in your heart you are doing what's right for your sweet girl at this point in time, and that's all any dog can ask for.

I'm so sorry that the time has come. We are thinking of you and sending all our love and hugs to Bella, you and the pack. I hope you can feel the hugs from the Tripawd Nation during this very hard time.

Lots and lots of love coming your way. Give Bella a kiss from us and let her know our Tripawd heroes will be there to greet her at the bridge.

It's better to hop on three legs than to limp on four.™
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Durham, NC
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20 July 2017 - 2:43 pm
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Oh no, I'm so sorry to read this. I know how much it hurts to let your pretty girl go. I've thought long and hard about the inevitable for my girl and it shatters my heart every time. Still, I know it is what I will have to do for her some day.

You've given Bella a second (and third!) chance at life, one that was so much better than what she knew. She can go in peace, having finally experienced the kind of love and devotion a dog deserves. She has you to thank for that.

Give her as many rubs as you can before the vet arrives. Tell her how much you love her and will miss her, but also try to remember that dogs never really die, they just go to sleep in our hearts.

xoxoxo,

Amy & Izzy, too

Momma to the world's most beautiful American Bulldog, Izzy!! Lost her front leg to OSA 9/18/15. Diagnosed w MCT in June 2016. Celebrated her 1 year ampuversary with knee surgery on 9/18/16! MCT recurrence in Dec 2016. Happy & hungry til nearly 14, earning her wings on 7/31/17.

Uk
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20 July 2017 - 3:29 pm
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So very sorry to hear your sad news about your lovely Bella, you can really feel the emotion from your words, my heart goes out to you all, it sounds like she has had the most amazing time spent with you, time treasured and never forgotten!

Run free Bella 🐶🌈 

Schofield, WI
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20 July 2017 - 8:50 pm
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My heart is breaking for you and beautiful Bella.  Your story sounds much like ours was with our Max.  He had a few off days and then it was like he was paralyzed.  His entire back end was useless.  We'll never know for certainty if it was spine mets which the vet assumed it was or something like what you're experiencing with Bella.  We just knew this was not anything we could fix and restore him to a point where he would be happy again.  Loving him as we did we knew his quality of life would suffer greatly.  He like your Bella was an athlete and moving moving moving.   We promised him after the amp and chemo no more poking and prodding with more vet visits that so stressed him out.  We were going for quality over quantity.  I know that's also where you're at today.  You have made this choice because of the love you have for her and you know her so well.  I know your head knows this but it takes a while for the heart to catch up to that same knowledge.  Sending you love, light and peace.  Bella has been loved wholly and thoughly by you!  Fly free beautiful Bella!

Linda & Spirit Mighty Max

Green Bay, WI
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20 July 2017 - 9:46 pm
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Brenda, I'm so glad you called the helpline today.......as I told you, this was supposed to be us today. I still can't believe how close we came to saying goodbye to my warrior Nitro. If that squirrel hadn't showed up, I think my boy would be in heaven too. You knew in your heart what you needed to do, even when yours was breaking. Wishing you peace and healing as you deal with this most difficult time.

Paula and Nitro

Nitro 11 1/2  yr old Doberman; right front amp June 2014. Had 6 doses carboplatin, followed by metronomic therapy. Rocked it on 3 legs for over 3 years! My Warrior beat cancer, but couldn't beat old age. He crossed the Bridge peacefully on July 25, 2017, with dignity and on his terms.  Follow his blog entitled "Doberman's journey"

http://nitro.tr.....27_2_1.jpg

"Be good, mama loves you".....run free my beautiful Warrior

Virginia
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20 July 2017 - 10:23 pm
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And now the hard part. As you can tell from the support you got from sweet Paula today, we are all here for you. We know what lies ahead for awhile, and it's not easy.

The void is sooo hard. The break in routine after caring for sweet Bella with such intensity...it is all so very, very hard.

We've been with you ever since Bella brought you tonus. She knew we would be here with you now.

And she also knew we would be here to make sure you look for her signs that tell you she's okay. She also knew we would remind of the thousands of happy times she shared with you.

In fact, close your eyes right now for a minute or two. Visualize something thsrt made Bella happy and made her wage her tail, or made her smile!! See that memory and hold it in yiur heart. That's her reminder that she will always be with you.

Stay connected and please share more when you can.

Sending you love and hugs

Sally and My Chunky Spiritual Being Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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