23 November 2011
My baby girl Ava lost her battle with osteosarcoma on Feb 13/12. I have been too grief stricken to post anything in the past month. We knew it was coming, but I really hoped we would have a little more time with her after becoming a tripawd. She was such a natural too… I swear she was just starting to get along really good when she started having weird symptoms. Her eyes turned red, like allgeries and her nose started to swell. I prayed that that's all it was, but after her front feet started to swell, I knew something more was going on. I told myself we would give her the best quality of life, not quantity, but when it came down to it I selfishly wanted her to stay with us longer.
I took her into the vet the end of January when the eye drops weren't working and she was becoming lethargic. The vet (not her regular one) recommended a bunch of tests. I told her to take the xray to see what was going on. To my dismay, her lungs were full and I mean FULL of mets. She hadn't even coughed yet. I left the vet that night with my eyes welling up with tears. Knowing that our time with our sweet girl was very short. I had to break the news to my husband and our two girls 5 and 3. I don't think anyone slept that night. Her "fur brother" was so worried about her, he didn't leave her side and licked her face so she could calm down.
It was as if she just wanted to let me know that time was limited, because she was back to her old self the next day , playing and running. We cherished every day after that and took as many pictures we could. She didn't have one bad day, but the coughing started and got progressively worse over the next three weeks.
On the Sunday night before she passed, she had a hard time to catch a breath and looked at me with the eyes of sadness. I knew she was ready to go. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. We brought her to our vet the next day and let her go. She always loved going to the vet and this day was no different. She gave all of the staff a goodbye kiss and we spent the next few minutes saying goodbye to her in the room. My children were unbelievable through the whole thing and were actually comforting me rather than vice versa. My 5 year old looked at me and said "its ok mommy she isn't going to hurt anymore and she will get to have all 4 legs again". I swear this kid is an old soul We all layed on the floor with her as she wiggled her tail and kissed us all goodbye. I held her tightly as the vet started the injection and she reached up for one last kiss for me and for him.
I will never forget feeling her go limp and sliding away. The saddest day of my life so far. The pain of losing her is still very raw. She was a "once in a lifetime dog". I will never be able to replace her. I know that in time it will get easier but I miss her so much. I still catch myself calling for both dogs to come back inside or waiting for her to nudge my arm to wake me in the morning. I know both my girls miss her too. My oldest drew a picture of her and Ava smiling, on a valentine at school. It said" Straight from my heart, I will always love my Ava". She even drew her with three legs. Now that made me smile We will all miss you sweet girl.
Ava the angel Cane corso March 29 2006- Feb 13 2012
28 January 2012
I am so sorry for your loss and understand it is so difficult not to be selfish and to let our loved ones proceed on to the bridge. You are a very good pawrent for listening to your furry kid and not making her suffer. We have lost several pets over the years, all but 1 (she died overnight in recovery from surgery) I was with holding until their spirits reached the bridge. Time does make it easier but you never forget them.
Here is to healing of heart,
25 August 2010
I know this feeling too well. I just lost my boy and was sitting here wondering when I will start to feel better. It is like a wave rolling over you, pain, sadness, loss. The hardest part is knowing you won't be having any more physical contact. I am so sorry, I do understand this grief so well. My boy left me on Feb 11th.
Ava sounds like a really wonderful girl, kisses and sunshine up to the very end. All I can say about this right now is I am told the pain will lessen. He is my heart dog, like she is yours. I was thinking of finding a grief support website, because most of my friends in my world aren't animal lovers, they don't know what it feels like to love like this.
I hope you have a good support system, it sounds like your kids are amazing, very wise. In the meantime, I pray that your grief is soon replaced with smiles as you remember your wonderful, once in a lifetime girl.
10 December 2011
Goodbye Ava. I'm glad you lived life to the fullest till the end. Run free.
Marla and Daisy
20 August 2011
I'm so sorry. Loosing our sweet pets is always so. so hard. :-(
12 February 2010
we're so sorry to read that ava lost her battle. you gave her a final, selfless gift by releasing her from her broken body. hopefully the wonderful memories you made with her will eventually help dry the tears. love never ends.
charon & spirit gayle
11 February 2011
We are so sorry! You are in our thoughts
8 July 2011
Reading your post reminds me so much our situation. We put Callie down on 2/13 as well, after struggling with the decision to do so for awhile. Like yourself, we wanted to give her a good quality of life but in the end I feel like I was starting to drag it out because I wanted her to stay with us, even though it was obvious her quality of life was not anywhere where it use to be and was only going downhill as the days went on. It was the hardest decision we ever made, especially because she would have a bad day, followed by a good day, and back and forth for awhile. But we knew by Xrays that her lungs were full of mets too (and large ones at that), and when the coughing & labored breathing started becoming more & more apparent, I knew it was time. It was the right thing to do for her, but the hardest thing I've ever had to go through myself.
I also have a 3 year old who mentions Callie at least once a day and asks when she is coming back, even though we've tried to explain to him that she can't. And like yourself, I keep finding myself looking for Callie around the house or expecting her to be in the backyard. It just doesn't seem quite real to me yet that she isn't coming back either.
So sorry to hear of your loss, but may it be of some comfort to know that others know exactly what you are going through and you are not alone. We did the right things for our "furbabies" to release them from their pain, no matter how hard it was and still is for us.
I know this pain too. I lost Valentina on Feb. 3rd and I am still not feeling any relief. My entire day seems consumed with thoughts and memories of her. I am still not sleeping well. I keep waking in the night and my first thought is Valentina and then I can't go back to sleep. One time I was having a dream about her and when I first woke up I thought the whole thing was just a dream. It only took a few seconds after that for me to realize that her being alive still was really the dream. It smacked me in the face like a ton of bricks and a feeling of doom fell over me and I began to cry. Everyone does keep saying that it gets better but it doesn't seem like it's going to. I think it gets worse before it gets better. I surely thought that the first few days without her would be the worst but it turns out that as the days have gone by so far it is getting worse because I am realizing that it is true and permanent. At first I was in so much shock that I couldn't feel all the feelings and it seemed so unreal. Now it seems like I haven't seen her in a year! Yesterday marked 3 weeks since we had to put her to sleep. In the morning I was telling myself , at this time 3 weeks ago Valentina was still here, she was still alive. It seems like every Friday for the rest of my life I will remember the events of that morning. I am so sorry for your loss of Ava. She was a beautiful Dog. And I know she was a beautiful part of your life too. The days are dragging by but I do have hope that we will find some way to move on and be happy again. We will heal but will always carry a scar of how this has hurt our hearts so deeply. I am praying for you and for me to be able to find some comfort in this very painful experience. I am trying to help myself by applying to foster a Great Dane in need. I just have to have a Great Dane in my life and in this way I will be helping one in need also. I do think that it will be a big help. I hope that you can find a way too that will help you whatever that may be. My daughter drew me a picture of Valentina too after she passed. It is a very cute picture of her with a halo over her head and it says "Angel's Dog" on it. So very sweet. It's wonderful how our children try to comfort us. I'm picturing Ava and Valentina running and playing with all of the other Tripawds that have recently passed having a grand ol time!
Angel and Valentina Angel Dane
18 January 2012
I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's such a painful time. May the good memories begin to fill the hole in your heart.
Hugs and Slobbers
Judy and Baby
14 August 2009
14 May 2011
I am so sorry for your loss. My chili dawg was my heart dog too. Your 5 year old daughter sounds just like my 4 year old son. They are both "old souls". I do love the things kids do and say to make us feel better. You gave Ava a wonderful life and your love for her show in the words of your post.
Jenna & Spirit Chili Dawg
29 October 2010
I'm so sorry to hear of losing your beautiful Ava. I know what you are going through and how hard it is. We just lost Abby to her lung mets in January and it was very similar – she couldn't breathe at the end, and yet she was still happy and giving kisses at that final vet appointment.
It does start to get a little easier. But it takes time. Give yourself time to grieve. We are all here for you if you want to write about your girl.
BIg hugs to you at this hard time. May your smiles at the happy memories soon replace your tears. She will always be with you in your heart.
Jackie, Angel Abby's mom
1 February 2011
I am so very sorry to hear about Ava. Your love for her is so apparent in your words.
We are just barely over a month from having lost our Rio. Although I miss her every day, and sometimes my heart hurts so much I can't breathe, it is getting a little easier to focus on the things she did that brought a smile to my face rather than just the fact that she's gone. I can't help but believe that the ability to love someone this much truly is a gift, even though when you're fighting back the grief and pain it may feel more like a curse.
Sending you comforting thoughts…
~ ~ Rio ~ ~
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