Ok, bear with me, I think this will be a longer post with lots of pics and a video or two. But then you asked for it and since Manni actually asked if he could take over the blog again soon, I'll have to cramp this in here.

First things first, though. We had a scare the beginning of this week. I had to give Manni Cerenia three day in a row because he was eating lots of grass and was drooling a lot. On Tuesday morning he woke me up at six because he had to go outside to get to the grass. So off to the vet we went. I was scared of an ulcer or stomach bleeding, since there had been no throwing up. An ultrasound determined that all is apparently, well, as good as it can be. However, Manni's blood values were bad. White blood count was, well, still in existence, but not good at all, all other values weren't either.

The decision was to take him from Palladia every other day down to every three days. Which is obviously less than perfect in many ways, especially since we still don't know if it's working or not until the CT. I have been giving Cerenia for the past few days but I will have to stop that soon and we'll see how we get on without.

I said I would stop at the first sign of side-effects and look at me now. Still going. I am just trying to get to the CT appointment right now to finally know what is going on and how to (if at all) proceed. At the same time it's killing me to maybe be doing this to Manni in his last days to no avail. You know, you think after 19 months you would be prepared, you would be ok with everything because you "got so much time". And then you find out: you're really not. It'll never be ok. Maybe it'll be ok for Manni, if I make the right decisions, whichever they are, but it will NEVER be ok for me. If anybody ever needs a definition of "Anticipatory Grief", call me. 

As this is what I do, I try to leave all this stuff in my little head and go about creating good days. 

The two of us go on about three walks a day, a lot of times with the ManniMobile, getting ice cream, or going to the bakery, some such stuff

These below are just a few impressions from one of our many daily adventures. Mind you, it all looks fun and exciting, but in all honesty: Manni's breathing is a lot more labored than two months ago, he pants a lot, he sleeps most hours of the day and the distance that he manages now has gotten a LOT shorter. A lot of times we walk a few yards, sit somewhere pretty and enjoy each other and the views. That's the reality. Now for the pretty pictures:

We even still attend our dog training/disabled classes our physio does. We have an agreement with her that Manni can attend but only has to do what he feels like doing. On one of the very few warm days we've had here so far a hot dog looks like this (it's all about the right preparation, baby!):

Most of Manni's day is spent like this, however. And this will also be the place where he will get to rest eventually, since it's his very favorite spot:

Today was a good day for once. Less sleeping, less panting, less being subdued, more alertness, more activity. So we managed to make it around the whole neighborhood block:

If you're still with me after this looooooooooong post, here's what we're up to on a good day like this.