Jamie & Lyla, thank you for posting. Sorry it took so long to approve your first post, but your future ones won't need to get approved so please post away. I'll try to answer your concerns: 

 I have read Dog Cancer Survival Guide from cover to cover.  It is a wonderful book full of amazing information and which lead me to this forum.

Aww we are so glad you found us. Sorry that you had to. It's a tough situation for sure. But we are here to help however we can.

I am terrified of amputating because I am terrified she won’t know why I took her leg.

Try not to look at it like that. What we say around here is that amputation is not doing something to your dog, it's doing something for your pup. By taking away the pain, you are doing the #1 thing in this situation with her diagnosis. The look of relief that we see on dogs after surgery is amazing, it happens all the time. You will notice a greater comfort level once recovery is over, guaranteed.

her pain after the operation.  

Sounds like she already has a good pain management team working on her behalf based on that gabapentin dosage (YAY!). When pain is well-managed before during and after surgery, it makes recovery much, much easier. Yes, there will be discomfort. But if things are handled well and you stay ahead of the pain by following the dosage and timing, she should be as comfy as possible. 

You are doing everything possible to give her a chance at a great life. Yes, she is a big dog, but she's not the biggest we've ever seen here. And as long as you can keep up a pawsitive and hopeful attitude, you both can handle amputation recovery even better than you imagined. It's not always easy but you can do this!

I could only see Lyla's photo but oh my dog what a beauty!

We have paws crossed for good test results today! Please let us know how it goes.

Lyla is a strong girl. Yes she had a ruff time starting out in life (yikes what a story!), but that just proves she's got what it takes to fight cancer. Try not to look at treatment as "putting her through" something awful. Oncology for pets is much, much different than it is for people. It's all about quality of life, and managing the condition, not necessarily eradicating it because their bodies just couldn't handle the higher amounts of chemo that humans get. Most dogs manage treatment with minimal side effects, usually just lack of appetite for a couple days after treatment. If they do get significant side effects the treatment is tailored to match their sensitivity levels.

It's exciting you are working with a great sounding oncologist. Where are you getting treatment? I love that they are working on getting a vaccine too. Do you know which one? Check out our immunotherapy posts for details about this groundbreaking treatment.

Keep us posted!

WHEEEEE! That's really, really good news to prepare you and Lyla for surgery.

Of course you are scared! But your onco vet is completely right. You will be surprised when you see the difference in her personality and mobility, once recovery is over. We didn't realize how much pain our own dog was in until we took "after" pictures. The difference was incredible. His facial expression went from scrunched to relaxed, his ears perked up again, and there was no sad limp. We knew then we made the best decision for him.

We are here for you both. Please, ask any questions you'd like and keep us posted OK?

Jamie you don't need to be sorry about anything OK? Everything you are feeling is totally to be expected. I sense though, that you will know exactly how to be strong and what to do when you get her back. 

It's a lot to think about, and worry about. But worry is unproductive so do your best to keep busy. Get your house Tripawd-proofed, try to go on a walk, get some air and breathe so that you feel strong and ready for her when she comes home. You can do this!

Keep us posted tomorrow, we'll be waiting.