Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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Dear Marguerite: PLEASE PLEASE listen to your friends here and do not be so hard on yourself. Jake was excited to swim. You were giving him something that has always helped him emotionally and physically. And it was a loving, generous, brave thing to do. And please listen to our resident vet Pam who is assuring you the swimming was a good thing to try.
You are all under a tremendous amount of stress. I'm sure your husband is just stressed and grieving. Unfortunately we always take it out on the people we're closest to. I can't tell you the times my partner and I have lost it over all this stress and taken it out on each other.
Jake would not want you to blame yourself. This is all because of cancer---not you. You are his hero and your love and devotion is evident to all of us. I remember when I told my dad Romeo was sick. My dad reminded me that Romeo---despite his diagnosis---was lucky. He was lucky and had a good life because we adopted him and gave him a good home. Jake has known such such love and goodness thanks to you. Like so many dogs, he could have fallen into careless, cruel hands. But he has a beautiful family, a loving home.
We're praying for all of you. I know you are taking good care of Jake, please take care of yourself too.
Love to you, Eve and Romeo
Marguerite---My heart breaks for you and Jake. Any of us could be (or have been) in the same situation. Everything you do for Jake is out of love. Look how happy he was to be able to go swimming. Don't beat yourself up for it, just continue to love Jake and nurture him. You're in my thoughts....
Tyler & Wiley
The only one making things worse seems to be your husband for not understanding how you feel right now. When going through such difficult times with the dogs we love so much, it's hard not to be angry at the situation and take out on each other. But you both need to move on and deal with Jake as he is now, and especially be calm around him. He loves you both and will only be confused and hurt if the two of you don't kiss and make up.
I can say this. I am a husband after all.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
You did what you thought was best, you made the decision with your heart and you had Jake's best interest in mind, how could that be wrong? The pain may be totally unrelated, things often happen like that. Please don't blame yourself. Cancer is hard enough without the added emotions of guilt and blame. Take a deep breath, sit quietly with Jake, try to give him some gentle massage, and let the painkilllers kick in. You did abosolutely nothing wrong.
{{{{hugs}}}}
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
If this is spinal metastasis (and I hope it isn't) then Jake could become painful at any time regardless if he went swimming or not. Tazzie was fine one night and couldn't walk the next morning so it happened to her in her sleep. If the mets go to the vertebrae the bone can fracture and affect the spinal cord. You can give 4 Tramadol every 6-8 hours to try and control the pain. If spinal mets occur there is not much to give for pain control and even prednisone does not work well. Maybe he just overdid it but if he is still in pain tomorrow am please consult your vet.
Pam
Well, it's almost 12:30 am... and I've been lying with Jake for hours. One of my vet friends finally called me back around 9:30... After everything I've described to her, she definitely thinks it's probably spine mets... So our time is very limited now.
As I was talking to her, my husband ran into the room to tell me that Jake was starting to poop... I ran in to the TV room, and started to clean Jake up... all the while telling him that it was OK and that he was such a good boy...(he's never ever pooped in the house before). My vet told me that taking him swimming didn't have anything to do with his sudden decline... but I'm sure that my husband (and me) have something else to say about that!
She did say that it was going to be very painful, and I was able to give him another tramadol, and then another at 2 am if he needed it. Jake really hasn't really slept yet... he seems to fall asleep for a few minutes, then he wakes up grunting and panting... My poor baby... She told me to feel for his bladder, if it was huge, I would have to express it manually... and if it was small, then I could wait. (it was small). He didn't want to eat anything... I had to shove his tramadol down his throat, as he didn't want the cheese I normally give it in. He didn't even want any water... and he loves to drink!!
I hate all of this... I was thinking that Jake would just be feeling down one day, and we would bring him to the vet to have him put to sleep, but I never wanted him to go through this!! Our vet opens at 9 am... and if Jake is still feeling the same way... then we will bring him there right away, and put our poor baby out of his misery... I can't even think of what will happen after that... I am so depressed... My husband is sleeping now, he is emotionally exhausted, but he was so mad at me... I think he will never forgive me for all this.. .no matter what the vets say. I know that we should be strong and be supportive to each other, but I can't help what he is feeling...
I just never thought that things would get so bad, so quickly...
Jake's Mom
Jake, 10yr old golden retriever (fractured his front right leg on 9/1, bone biopsy revealed osteosarcoma on 9/10, amputation on 9/17) and his family Marguerite, Jacques and Wolfie, 5yr old german shepherd and the newest addition to the family, Nala, a 7mth old Bengal mix kittie. Jake lost his battle on 11/9/2009, almost 8 weeks after his surgery. We will never forget our sweet golden angel… http://jakesjou.....ipawds.com ….. CANCER SUCKS!
Words will never be able to express the support that I want to send you at this very difficult time. You should not feel guilty for allowing Jake to enjoy one of his greatest pleasures. All our logic tells us that the swim has not hastened this moment or caused him any additional pain. What is happening now would have happened but without the swim, he may not have had this wonderful experience. I have often used Jakes love for the pool and swimming as a perfect example of how we must take care of the spirit as well as the body. Your courage, care, and love have been nothing short of outstanding during you very difficult journey. Please know that you will be in our thoughts and prayers. Rest with the knowedge that you have only had Jake's interest, well being, and quality of life in all your actions.
Bob & Cherry
Oh Jakes Mom,
I am so sorry you are going through this. I really dont have much to add right now, except to second what others have already said much more eloquently than I can.
Please dont beat yourself up. It is not your fault that your dog has cancer. You had absolutely no reason to think a swim would cause him harm. All you can do right now is continue to be with Jake and love him, as you always have. Try to just stay with him in the moment and keep him as comfortable as possible. We all know here that you have, and will continue to, act on your love for Jake in all that you do for him. Jake knows that you love him and he loves you.
We will hold you in our thoughts and hearts as you move through this incredibly difficult time.
Martha (Codie Rae's mom)
Woohoo! Tripawds Rule!
Regulator of the Oaktown Pack, Sheriff of the Oaktown Pawsse, Founding member and President of the Tripawd Girldogs With 2 Names ROCK Club, and ... Tripawd Girldog Extraordinaire!
I hope he feels better tomorrow. I love his picture, I love his videos, and I want you guys and Wolfie to have much more time with him. He is a beautiful boy. Please don't blame yourself - you had nothing to do with his getting cancer, and you can't control how it grows. I'll be thinking of you guys and I hope tomorrow brings happier times.
<3 Laura and Jack
Dear Marguerite: We're so sorry things have gone downhill so quickly. I'm praying you are not still blaming yourself. This could happen to any of us at any time. We're all praying for you and sweet Jake. I agree with Martha (Codie Rae's Mom)----just try to be in the moment as much as possible. Jake would not want to leave this world w/ you and your husband blaming yourselves. With tension between you.
I know this is all easier said then done. You are an amazing mom, devoted, loving, and courageous. We are all witness to your love and care for Jake. We wish so much we could be there to give you a hug and give sweet Jake a kiss. What a love he is. We feel so attached to him.
A special hug to Wolfie too. Love to all of you, Eve, Sylvia, and Romeo
Dear Marguerite - I don't think there is anything I can add that others have not already said over and over and over again. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. NONE OF IT IS. Please, please, please don't do this to yourself. I'm so sorry that your husband is channeling his anger about the cancer toward you - we always tend to hurt the ones we love...I know that doesn't make it easier, but...hopefully he can find a different way to channel his pain.
I don't want to make this about me, but I hope this helps...
When zeus was diagnosed with kidney failure, all I did was blame myself that I didn't notice soon enough the symptoms, he had them about 3 weeks prior to my taking him in if I look back on it, but i thought it was just the heat of the summer that was making him have less energy. He always hated the heat of August. I lost him quickly and I blamed myself...you can't do that - it will tear you apart and take you down a path that JAKE WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO GO DOWN.
You have done everything right because you did it with love and with Jake's best interest in your heart and your mind. We cannot control the outcome of this nasty, hateful disease. We cannot predict how things will end for any of us. We just don't have that power. Please believe that...it's so much easier to walk through the grief when you have peace in your heart. I know and believe that it was Zeus' time even though it was too soon for me...it was when God wanted him home. There was nothing I could do - it played out the way it was supposed to play out and there is nothing that you can do and NOTHING THAT YOU DID to cause any of this.
Our job is to take care of them their whole lives, when they need it most and love them unconditionally as they do us - it seems to me that you have done a great job ..the last one is the ruffest...but remember that's its only because we love them so much that we are able to do what they need us to do.
You are in our thoughts and our prayers...we are sending tons of love your way.
Be well, be at peace.
(((hugs)))
Love Heather and Spirit Zeus
Heather and Spirit Zeus - Our life changing journey…from the earth to the heavens…one day at a time…always together
My thoughts are with you as you face the new day.
I am so praying you forgive yourself. It is easy to believve that what happens is our fault, but alas, it is not. We cannot change the outcome, we can only make the journey leading there a loving experience for our fur babes.
You have been awesome and taken wonderful care of Jake. He knows that and loves you for it.
As for your husband, if he doesn't read the forum, I would suggest you sit him down and insist he read this thread, so he can see all the wonderful, loving support you have for all you have done.
Peace be with you.
Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul. Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.
I am very sorry. I can only imagine how you must feel. Please don't blame yourself. You and your husband love Jake very much and have given him everything he needed. You have done everything humanly possible.
Please know you have done the right thing. It was simply Jake's time, not the swimming. We feel your pain for the tragedy that time was for you. Thanks for sharing your experiences and feelings.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
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