Good morning and thank you for this site.  I have been reading and reading.  I wish that I had time to read it before all this happened. It all happened so quickly and without time to research.

He is still in hospital.  I am waiting for the morning call.  Hopefully he will come home today but I will admit that I am so nervous about caring for him.  I bought a gated enclosure to protect him from the other dogs and to keep him from trying to jump on the couch.

I never told you his name.  It is Smokey. My father named him back in 2010 before he passed away.  He is a black cocker spaniel with white markings.  First dog that I ever raised from a pup.  I had always had rescues in the past. As a matter of fact we just took in a 14 year old yellow lab that had a rear leg amputation when he was a pup after being hit by a car. He does very well.  The biggest difference is that I didn't experience the surgery, that was long in the past when I met him.

I am worried about the pain for Smokey.  He can get snappy when he is hurting so there is that concern also.  Finances are also a worry.  I had a knee replacement in February of last year and I am still in pain, may need a revision surgery.  Then in June I was laid off from my job of 14 years because of Covid. I don't think I could even work right now because my mobility is severely limited and the pain level is too high.  I keep remembering the extreme pain when I woke up from surgery and worry that it is like that for Smokey.

To make matters a little more complicated, my SO just sold our house to downsize. He is almost ready to retire.  We have not found a new place yet and will probably have to move twice!  Just feeling overwhelmed.  

These last two years have been so hard.  I also lost my lifelong friend in September of 2019.  It was a long battle with brain cancer.  I was one of his primary caregivers. I am grateful that I could do that but I just miss him so very much.  We were friends for over 50 years.  

I did speak with surgeon last night.  She said Smokey is doing well.  He ate 3/4 of his dinner and was outside walking without a sling.  I just hope he is doing as well as she says.  

Wow, I am all over the place.  Sorry for that.  I am sitting here anxiously waiting for the call.  Yes, I called but they were still doing rounds.  

I just can't wait to hug my boy.

Hi again!  Been a rough few days and I managed to forget my password and got locked out.  Sleep deprivation is not my friend.

Smokey seems a little better today, keeping my fingers crossed.  Vet upped the med dosage. I do think he was in pain.  He was panting so hard and moving from spot to spot, just not able to get comfortable even cuddled up with me. 

The other night he yelped quite loudly in the middle of the night and there was a bit of blood on his shirt. Not sure what he did but that started a couple of days of what seemed like pain for him.

I made a sort of sling for him from a t-shirt.  Just cut the top off, then cut in half.  Put a hole for his remaining front leg and tied it on top.  Easy to get on and off without having to disturb him too much and hopefully protects his wound a bit.

This is so hard, just so very hard to see him go through this, have pain.  I do hope that I made the right choice for him and he has a decent quality of life soon.  

The vet told me that the bread was most likely from a common congenital weakness in spaniels.  Now I worry about the added stress on the other front leg.  She also told me to just take it one day at a time right now and get through this.

He seems to have adjusted to the play yard.  Not thrilled but better.  He has never been crated.  He came to me a a pup and was just so good, followed me around.  Guess I should have been firmer, it would have made this easier on him. 

Thanks for the support.  It does help to not feel alone.

Good morning all.  Things have not been going well.  Apparently Smokey got an infection.  I just don't understand.  I was so careful.  The cone was on at all times.  I washed his bedding, several sets.  every day at least.  Made the t-shirt to protect his wound and changed them every day.  I kept the other dogs away so there was no chance for a lick on the wound.  He actually appeared to be perking up, his eyes looked happier, he was making playful gestures towards his ball, lots of tail wagging, eating well, drinking lots of water.  He was only on antibiotics during his hospital stay.  I should have insisted on meds to take home.  

The suture line didn't look bad to me.  There was some scabbing, a tiny bit of drainage after he would lie on that side but it was miniscule.

So,  my poor boy had to have a debridement under anesthesia.  He is doing well and should come home today.  I am aching for him.  I did request a round of antibiotics this time.  

The vet also did an x-ray of the other front leg.  He has the same congenital problem in the other leg.  I am just so upset.  Not sure what to do now.  She said we could do a surgery that would help prevent a break.  I hate to even think of putting him through another surgery and honestly I am broke at this point.  Initial surgery was $5600 and this one is $1200.  I have to bring him back next week to have the dressing changed under anesthesia. I'm afraid to hear what that will cost.  I have borrowed from everyone.  I mentioned before that I have been unemployed since last year because of covid.  Also, had a knee replacement that is not doing well.  I am not sure that I will ever be well again.  Going for a bone scan this week to hopefully find the problem.  Best case is that it is loose and can be fixed, I guess that is best.  This pain is just awful, the arthritis was easier to live with.

Just trying to take it one day at a time.