Dang it, I had posted above but I think I must have not been logged in when posting – should have figured that out when it asked for a username and email address.. I'm definitely not with it.. see previous Post below – hopefully the forum admin will delete one of these to avoid redundancy…

You guys/gals are all so great. I sincerely appreciate the support and the words of wisdom. It’ tremendously helpful to hear from you and realize that there are people who face the same challenges and have succeeded. Dakota already owes you a lot and I am grateful!

I like the idea of telling the naysayers to not share their opinion with me anymore. I know they love me and want to help but it is single minded and not constructive. I think maybe they have not been lucky enough to have a real best friend like I have – I suspect then they may stop and think before being so quick to a decision.

I am looking inwards and I am trying to hear from Dakota what he wants – he is so sad these days though. I can see his paw/leg often quiver with pain and he will occasionally whine lightly or cry in the night and wake me up – I can only imagine how a nerve tumor must feel. I drug him but try to balance it so “he” is still there. I caught him tonight playing with his squeaky toy for a couple minutes after I fed him his steak tip dinner – it was a glimpse of who he is and him before the pain.

Heather – I am sooo sorry to hear about Zues, but it sounds like you got that extra time that made a real difference! I am hoping to be as lucky as you to be honest with you.

I think someone asked about Dakota’s overall health. He is 11, but he is a spunky 11. I have fought to keep him with me through my life – this means that at times he has had to suffer as an apartment dog – with less exercise than he should have gotten – this results in a somewhat stiff back end, but with exercise he does very well. Short of that he has been a very healthy doggie, never anything major wrong with him (till now)

Also, thanks for the info on putting Dakota back under again for surgery – this was something I could not find information on and part of my worry and fear that I HAD to make the decision this coming Tuesday.

I am compiling TONS of information. I feel like I live on the internet now researching the condition and treatments. I may start a blog just to centralize information relating to this condition so that others will find it easier and in one place. I will write more later – I have to go put my mattress on the floor and out some runners down on the hardwood floors to make his life a little easier. I have tons of questions I want to ask and will be posting those soon too.

Thank you all again – I think you know how helpful you all are and how much it means to Dakota and I as we work through life’s toughest challenge so far.

I am trying not to let myself get too wrapped up in everything, I promise I will only spend a few (23) hours a day researching and trying to find the best treatments, and options for Dakota.

I think that in Dakota's case the onset of pain was instant and I believe that it is still there and that he is just dealing with it. I see moments when either the dosage of tramadol has balanced just right, or he finds a sitting/laying position that lessens the pain and I catch a glimpse of who he is/was. These are the times that it is clear to me that I need to have the surgery. There are other times (most of the time now) that he whines, has labored breathing, cant get comfortable and/or shakes and is scared when I go to pet him as i think the slightest pressure in the leg area really hurts him (I obviously avoid that area) - these are the times when I see him pulling away and not so sure that HE wants more. This is one reason for the lump in my throat and part of my indecision. I continue to be optimistic and brave for him. We are going for a car ride today to see granny and celebrate Dakota's 11'th birthday - he LOVES car rides and seeing granny.

I will definitely share everything I have from the research. I am half waiting till Tuesdays MRI to confirm things and be certain I am getting the correct diagnosis and then proper names and terminology for the condition. I can not believe how many variants of cancer there are - almost seems like an endless maze. I also want to try to put together some sort of document or spreadsheet that outlines all the supplements and drugs as I am feeling lost on what is a good idea and how/when/if he should get them and cautions to consider for each. I am going to post my suggested diet in the nutrition forum to get feedback.

Tazzie - thanks for the heads up on that compiled document - I got the link from Jerry's post on the tips document - that is a lot of good information! I am definitely going to take some time and go through that. Dakota does have a different kind of cancer, it is soft tissue - not in the bone - this is why they need to do the MRI. The orthopedic surgeon said she believes it to be nerve root tumor - which from what I can see looks like a variant of nerve sheath tumor. Depending on the size and location it may or may not be operable (swallows lump in throat). I am expecting to know for certain on Tuesday and then really get things in gear for next steps. I'm so sorry to hear you hit the met stage - from all my reading I know where in the timeline that sits. Just keep remembering one thing - your buddy is with you today and that is a gift - that's what I keep telling myself at least...

Thanks for the Happy Birthday Jackiandmac - he loved the butter recipe cupcakes I made him but didn't like the candle idea. I know they weren;t the best for him - but I have to spoil him on his B-day. He also thought he didn't have to share any with granny and I - at least he still has an appetite. If there is one thing he likes it's food - when that goes then I know I am in trouble.

Gerry and Dakota...