Well I was finally able to recover 99% of his pictures from the computer crash , everything is now getting backed up on usb, box and google photos .

But yesterday was super hard and emotional as I broke down his kennel and put it away .... But his bed and blanket will remain at my bedside ..

I never ever thought I would miss my Lunkhead this much or getting woken up with a sandpaper paw to the face or getting hit by him swinging his rope/kong ball toy like a mad man ..I wish I had just 5 minutes more with him ....... I really hate this cancer ..

It's been 25 days and sux more every day , the impact he had on me was more then I ever imagined.. The more I read post and about Wyatt Ray about being more dog and the more I think of how Samson was the more I understand .. Because he was like a oversized puppy everyday with me

now his night time bed still and will always remain next to my bed with his heavy blanket , his day bed or lounge is in the living room near the wood stove where he loved to be when it was on . No one else uses those beds .... His toys right now are on a shelf but I want to make a cedar box for all of his favorite toys , the ones he shared with the foster dog are still in the regular toy box ( but no one has wanted to play with them since he passed ) and Samsons 3 favorite squeaky toys are on a shelf and in front of his urn in my room ( 3 little rubber squeaky toys ( a fish, turtle, and pig ) and he never destroyed them only squeaked them and held on to them ) His collar hangs from a hook next to my bed ( pillow height ) sounds corny to some but he meant so much to me and helped me thru alot not including breaking my back and then waiting 3 yrs until I could have surgery , unfortunately he left before we'll see if it works or not .I didn't get rid of his kennel just folded it up for now . And I have his paw print on my desk

This week is really going to hurt because he LOVED fresh snow and just sitting in it until he looked like a snowdog !!!

Even the foster dog who learned how to play with toys and how to chew a bone ( and did it exactly like Samson ) won't play with his toys ....

Just writing this and thinking of him is bringing me to tears ( sadness and joy thinking of his antics ) And how I'm so freaking mad that he was cheated of life by a freaking blood clot from this cancer

Thank you all,

Im sure he has snow up there somewhere and is laughing his hairy butt off knowing I have to clear all this up coming snow alone with out him barking at the snow blower .. And I truly do hope he s teaching other dogs up there ( maybe even my other boys that have passed over how to play his version of soccer ) although I think Loki would play and his brother Petie would attack the ball and there sister Becky( she passed away at the young age of 1 due to a seizure ) would be trying her hardest to learn ..

I talk to him every morning and night ( Im probably crazy for sure ) lol. And I give each one of his toys a squeak each night for him . And every morning i him trying to steal my socks as I put them on and him helping me to stand up each morning ( I'm still a long ways off from my back being totally healed ).

An your right I wish like you that they would live as long as we did or atleast longer then they do . Rotties average 8-10 but I've seen alot go 12 to 14 , I feel cheated that we didn't have more time and that he didn't have the chance to fight that crap . But I also feel he got cheated because i know there was so much more he would've done done , wanted to do .

The only other dogs I connected like that with were my 2 boys ( Loki and Peter ) and my girl Patches and Becky . Cause with Becky during one of her seizures only I could calm her down just by holding her in my arms until she relaxed and feel asleep . But Sam was almost like a combination of all of them ( except hairier) lol..