I wanted to update folks and thank everyone for their help and support the last few months since Cholla was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma.  This site has been very useful.  I haven't found similar experiences on here as what seems to now be taking Cholla from us but she could very well have lung mets but we haven't done more x-rays.  At this point it doesn't seem to matter though because she is clearly not happy anymore,  this is the hardest decision I have ever had to make but I think tomorrow I will be saying good bye to Cholla.  She had an amazing 6 months or so since her amputation in mid november but since mid may she has been struggling and since memorial day weekend she hasn't been on a walk (besides the wagon rides she seems to love!).  And I don't regret the treatment choices I have done for her.  

The vet hasn't been able to pin point what has been causing all cholla's problems, first we just thought it was arthritis in her back hip that was left, and then all her joints swelled up.  X-rays didn't show anymore bone tumors and predisone helped the swelling, thankfully, but it didn't seem to stop this awful disease of cancer.  Her blood work has remained normal and her clotting seemed to be fine as well but there as been blood clots in her urine and feces.  Lumps have started popping up all over her body and in the last week seem to be multiplying.  The worst was the bump that popped up on her eyelid one day and has now grown to totally covering her eye and it starts bleeding which means Cholla has to wear an e-collar when not being watched so she doesn't paw at it and start the bleeding.  She couldn't walk at all for about a week at the end of May and could barely stand to pee, but she had started going in an out of the house with only a little towel help getting back in so we thought we might be able to move to walks (which were her favorite thing to do) but it never happened.  We borrowed a wagon and have gone on some rides which lifted her spirits.  Unfortunately she is now struggling to go outside again on her own and has been sitting to pee.  She spends most of her time sleeping and once in awhile we see a tail wag or her personality come through but most of the time she seems to just be existing.  

I always said I didn't want to keep her alive for me but I never thought it would be so difficult to make the decision.  I hate to feel like I am playing G-d but I also don't want her to suffer.  She has been my best friend for over 10 years and we've experienced a lot together so I want to do what is right for her.  I think saying good bye tomorrow is the right decision but it doesn't make it any easier.  I am spending the day with her today and have been spending as much time as I can with her for the last few months.  Thankfully the weather cooled off a bit and we got to go for a nice wagon ride today which was one of the few times I have seen her happy in the last week or so, we walked the route that we have been for years so we could take in everything.  Tonight I hope to take her out to see the neighbors outside since she's always enjoyed the social interactions.  I think this is the choice she wants me to make but I am not sure how I am going to get through it.  My family and friends have offered to come with me, and my boyfriend even offered to do it for me, but I know this is something I want to do by myself with Cholla.  It has been so hard to see my vibrant dog brought down by this awful disease.