Dear all you crazy tripawds,

Thanks for your thoughts and concern. It is going okay here. People are around and distracting my mum so that it she is finding it a bit hard to even find a place or time to grieve. Except when she mentions my name. Then it all starts to flow. Her friend that came to do the drive to Colorado called the vets in Sioux Falls (we were so fortunate that one came to the motel room - it might have been horrible otherwise) and drove her and me back home, although I am not only resting. Speaking of the vet, when he came to our motel room, I even let out two barks, enough so that mum had to say 'he is friendly, and wagging his tail' (which I did a few times), right to the very end.

Her friend is still staying at the house, and another friend with a malamute named Noka came by tonight. When the humans were not looking, Noka ate an entire chunk of triple creme brie (worth about $15) and a big chunk of medium Gouda that my Mum bought from a fancy cheese store for company that might visit in my honour. I don't think she was thinking of Noka when she bought the cheese. I was impressed. I had no idea Noka was so talented. He did not even fake it by acting guilty the way I used to act.

As yet, she hasn't been alone to see the really dark side, at least not for too long. I think she was so very scared of seeing the dark side once I left and not being able to handle it, that it was a big part of the reason that drove her to make the trip toward Colorado. Probably we would have been better at home. But at least I acted happy on my last big adventure, with the entire front end of my body standing in the front seat looking around with my open mouth grin even when I'm supposed to be in the backseat, although she fears I was starting to really hurt. Maybe she will get around to figuring out how to post some of these pictures. She probably took a few thousand in the last 4&1/2 months.

When we came to customs, she said 'they will probably only think that I am a sleeping dog'. They don't know that I, Tazzie, NEVER EVER sleep in the car. Not in my entire life have I stretched out and laid down on the back seat. Not even on my last day of life on earth. The trip home gave my mum a bit of time for adjustment. She didn't want me to be taken right away from her, and of course that could not happen. But the difference between crazy Tazzie (Tazmaniac) and 'silent slumbering Tazzie' is pretty obvious. Everytime the car turns or someone walks by, she expects me to whine, jump up or bark. She could tell I wasn't there any more.

She brought me to the vet in my home town today and they were very nice about the arrangements that will be made, placing me on a nice rug and being very gentle. Her visiting friend is a woodworker and made a nice box in which they will put my ashes, if they fit.
Last night when she was getting upset she looked at some pictures and videos. She wanted to see if I looked happy during the last day, but ended up seeing pictures from the last few months (I think she only got to early October). It helped a lot to see that I had been happy since the amputation. That is me, Happy Tazzie. The hard part is knowing that she will never meet anyone like me again, never be able to hold me or smell me. That is the really hard part.