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need some guidance on end-of-life
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Chicago, IL
Member Since:
5 March 2011
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18 November 2011 - 5:57 pm
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We just found out today that Tate's cancer has spread all throughout his abdomen.  It goes without saying that we're heartbroken but we're also worried about how to manage this.  This is our first dog so we never had to do this before.

We have a pile of pain meds but to tell you the truth, he hasn't acted like he's in pain at all.  He's been acting very normal, and I'm all over it if any little thing is different.  Only unusual behavior is that he wanted to sleep in bed with us, but then he'd go to his own bed after awhile.  We took him to the vet because he's been very thirsty and woke me up to pee during the night.  And I also noticed his leg is swollen but not painful at all.  Turns out it is edema.   

Anyway, the doctor said given the extent of the cancer, he suspects Tate is in pain (he's a stoic boy).  So should we go ahead and give him the pain meds?  It's a lot:  150 mg Tramadol every 8 hours and 100 mg Gabapentin every 12.  Plus continue his 100 mg Rimadyl once/day.  And we already know, Tate and Tramadol don't get along well.  Well, it was okay when he was first diagnosed but then after the surgery he did the whole panting/weird thing.

Okay, second question.  We'd like to take him up to the cabin, his favorite place.  But the vet care way up in the northwoods is not like it is around here.  Cynthia already gave us a recommendation for hospice care here locally.  But up there, we'd be dependent on the local vet - limited hours.  If he's not open, it's about a 45 minute drive to another vet.  And who knows how far to a 24-hour clinic.  Hospice care for pets is unheard of.  So we're torn.  We want his last days to be happy but we don't want to complicate the end.  Any advice?

Also...thanks Jim and Rene for your details about Jerry...very helpful.

http://tate.tripawds.com/
August 16, 2006 to November 28, 2011
TATE ~ Forever in our hearts.

San Diego, CA
Member Since:
29 October 2010
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18 November 2011 - 6:14 pm
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Oh no! I'm so sorry to read this.

Poor sweet Tate.

I don't have a lot of advice... we've only been through this once before (with our angel Bailey who had a tumor on her heart). It was a quite different situation, as the vet said it was not causing her any pain, and wouldn't until the fluid around her heart became too much for her. So it was OBVIOUS at the end that is was time. She just suddenly started panting very heavily - so we sat with her (of course this started in the middle of the night - these things never happen during 'business hours') until the holistic vet could come to the house the next morning.We hated to make her wait and it was in a way very awful, but in a way she wasn't distressed and we just sat with her and stroked her and told her how much we loved her.

All that to say... I don't know how the end is for any other cancer than what Bailey had, but based on that experience I would think you would have time to get him through the 45 min drive if it came down to that. I think it's a lovely idea to want to take him to the cabin if he loves it there. But - I don't know. Maybe someone who's been in a more similar situation can weigh in on whether or not they think that's a good idea.

Also, as for knowing when it's time, I remember with Bailey I found a checklist on line that went through some questions/answers. (Is the dog still eating - that sort of thing.) Maybe we have something like that on here?

I'm crying for you. Sending strength to you for this hard time. Give Tate some extra loving from me and Abby.

Jackie

Abby: Aug 1, 2009 – Jan 10, 2012. Our beautiful rescue pup lived LARGE with osteosarcoma for 15 months – half her way-too-short life. I think our "halflistic" approach (mixing traditional meds + supplements) helped her thrive. (PM me for details. I'm happy to help.) She had lung mets for over a year. They took her from us in the end, but they cannot take her spirit! She will live forever in our hearts. She loved the beach and giving kisses and going to In-N-Out for a Flying Dutchman. Tripawds blog, and a more detailed blog here. Please also check out my novel, What the Dog Ate. Now also in paperback! Purchase it at Amazon via Tripawds and help support Tripawds!

Orange County, CA
Member Since:
28 November 2008
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18 November 2011 - 6:25 pm
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We're so sorry to hear this news about Tate.  I also can't offer much advice; with Max, it was clear for us that he was telling us it was time.  (Max's tumors produced fluid that put pressure on his lungs, making it hard to breathe; the dr's could've removed the liquid with a long needle between the ribs, but it would have returned 2 - 7 days later, on a continuous recurring cycle; too much to put our boy through).  This started on a Saturday night, and by Sunday, we had made our decision.  We had to go to the oncologist's office, as our regular vet was not open on Sunday, and we had no way to get hold of him to come to our home.  

I agree with what Jackie said; if you think Tate can do the drive, I think it's a lovely idea to take him to the cabin again.  Whatever decision you make will be the right one.  Tate loves you.  He is a true cancer hero.

John & Diane

Leicester, NY
Member Since:
11 February 2011
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18 November 2011 - 6:42 pm
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Oh- we are so sorry to hear about Tate. I would speak to your vet ahead of time and ask about after hours availability, sometimes they will give you their after hour contact info if they know your situation. We are sending you our love.

Julie, Bob and Samson

Spirit Samson was Spirit Tripawd Daisys four legged "brother" and ruled as the self proclaimed head of the Monkeybutt Federations East Coast Division. Lady Chunky Monkey stayed from Oct 2011 and left for the bridge in Apr 2012. Miss Perdy is left and has some big pawprints to fill.
Do you have what it takes to be a Monkeybutt? Find out more at the Monkeybutt Federation

knoxville, tn
Member Since:
12 February 2010
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18 November 2011 - 6:59 pm
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jan, we are just so very sorry to hear that tate is reaching this part of his journey so quickly.  he is such a brave boy, a hero to all of us.  if you believe he would enjoy the cabin, it sounds like a wonderful way to spend some final quality time with him.  we are fortunate to have our vets' personal numbers, so we have a lifeline that is priceless should we need it.  is it possible for you to get a tie-in like that?  and, like jackie says, if you are only an hour away from civilization, maybe that's not too far to navigate if you think you need to get back.

as we always say, if you make your decision out of love for tate, then it's the right decision.  time with you is all that he really cares about.  hugs to all of you.

charon & gayle

Life is good, so very, very good!!! Gayle enjoyed each and every moment of each and every wonderful day (naps included).  She left this world December 12, 2011 – off on a new adventure.

Love Never Ends

http://etgayle

Plainfield, Illinois
Member Since:
14 May 2011
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18 November 2011 - 8:25 pm
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Oh Jan, my heart sank when I read your topic post. I am so sorry about sweet Tate. With Chili Dawg it was pretty clear- he couldn't stand up & when we got him standing he couldn't take more than a step or two before he collapsed. I think it's sweet of you to take him to the cabin. I like the idea of calling the vet to see what their hours are and explaining your situation because maybe they would give you their after hours contact info. I do know that Tate will love being with you guys no matter where he is. I will be praying for you guys. Sending you tear-filled hugs,

Jenna

Diagnosed with OSA: 5/2/2011 Ampuversary: 5/11/2011 OSA returned in hip: 8/26/2011
Chili Dawg crossed the Rainbow Bridge on 8/30/2011 & is now pain free. He was my heart dog, and I miss him every day.

Sebastopol, CA
Member Since:
11 June 2011
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18 November 2011 - 8:33 pm
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Oh I'm so sorry to hear about your boy. This is all so hard.

It sounds like a wonderful idea to take him to the cabin. You do have lots of pain meds for him. Plus it is a good idea to check with the vet up North to see if they could be more available.

I do know that sometimes if they start to have a hard time to breathe because of the lungs then they can de-compensate quickly which can be very stressful. But it sounds like it's more his abdomen and you do have good pain meds. Hopefully the Tramadol will not effect him the same way as before.

My heart so aches for you right now.

Sending huge hugs to you all and special loving to Tate,

Joanne

http://lyleegir.....ipawds.com

In your heart, where I belong.
Member Since:
9 February 2011
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18 November 2011 - 8:33 pm
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Jan, I want to say some bad words and I guess I will. I hate this with a passion. Tate is very special, to me and to lots of people here. I am so sorry this has reared its ugly head. I truly am.

How far is the cabin from your house? If you got Tate there and he just wasn't happy or comfortable (but not in dire distress), how long would the drive back be? Most things like this don't just suddenly erupt; most people have considerable warning. Not all, but most. I'm thinking that if Tate started to show distress, you would likely have time to come back home where you know your vet and can get the help you would need.

What if your personal vet contacted the "backwoods" vet and asked him/her to allow you to have an emergency contact number? Maybe not a phone number but maybe a pager or something. If your regular vet can vouch for you and say that you are not a nervous Nellie who will call at the drop of a hat, the rural guy may be okay with it. It would be a professional courtesy. I think I'd try that first. 

If I were Tate and loved that cabin and that lake the way Tate does, I'd want to go. I wouldn't care if I was sick; I'd think that the lake would make me feel better. My 2 cents, worth every penny you paid for it.

Shari

From abandoned puppy to Tripawd Warrior Dude, Dakota became one of the 2011 February Furballs due to STS. Our incredibly sweet friend lived with grace and dignity till he impulsively raced over the Bridge on 12-15-12.

Dakota's thoughtful and erudite blog is at http://shari.tr.....pawds.com/

Las Vegas, Nevada
Member Since:
14 August 2009
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18 November 2011 - 9:21 pm
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Oh Jan,

This is so sad.  I felt in my heart Tate was going to be with us for such a long time.  He is such a huge part of us all! 

I don't have any words that could ever make it better or even good advice for your questions.  I always feel so helpless when one of close ones are facing the worst.  I understand the pain and feel it deeply but writing words doesn't come easy in these times.

When I lost Rugby, I didn't know he had a tumor on his heart and he just collapsed - I found out too late and he died while the vet was running tests.  I wasn't with him. That was the second dog I lost suddenly and without warning and I wasn't with them. It haunted me so badly, that when Comet collapsed unexpectedly and the vet did an ultrasound and found she was bleeding internally, I rushed to put her down.  I was terrified, so incredibly terrified she would suffer and die on a vet's exam table without me.  The utter horror of thinking she might suffer was what made the decision for me.  I had peace in the end.  And bless the loving emergency vet who made it easier on us. 

I know this probably doesn't help much.  But know my heart is with you.  With your mother's recent loss and now Tate, I can only imagine how much pain you must be in.  I'm so very sorry.

Many special hugs coming your way.

 

   

Her Retired AvatarComet - 1999 to 2011

She departed us unexpectedly  January 23, 2011 at the age of 12 1/2.

She was born with a deformed front leg and a tripawd all of her life.

krun15
10
18 November 2011 - 9:37 pm
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Jan,

I am so sorry you have reached this point with Tate already, it doesn't seem that long ago that you joined us here.

This is such a personal decision, it is hard to give advice from so far away.  I will share my thought process when I reached this point with Maggie. 

Actually- I had sort of made the decision 3 months earlier when she was diagnosed with the oral melanoma tumor.  For lots of reasons I chose not to aggressively treat that cancer. Right then I defined what the minimum life quality was for Mag, and I knew that when we passed that point it would be her time to cross over.  Because of early kidney failure she could not take NASIDs like rimadly.  Over the course of the years when we had done surgeries or biopsies we had tried several different pain medications- she reacted the same to all of them- agitated, seeing things, unable to sleep for 8 or 12 hours.  So I knew that as soon as I needed to try and medicate pain from the tumor we would be at the end.  At the end she woke me up in the middle of the night panting heavily, a sort of panicked look in her eyes, clearly in a lot of pain.  I did give her tramadol that night to ease the pain.  She slept for 30 min. then was up and agitated the rest of the night, but I don't think in pain.  I talked with my vet that morning and we let her go that afternoon.  Her reaction to the tramadol confirmed my decision in some ways.  We could have tried mixing and matching meds for awhile to see if we could find something that would work- but I didn't see how that would be quality time for her.

On going to the cabin- it sounds like a beautiful place to be- but you need to be comfortable that you can do what you need to do for Tate if the time comes.  If you don't think you can get to a vet from the cabin- will that be too stressful for you?  The most important thing for Tate is that you spend this time together.

This is so hard- but you can handle it.  You have gained incredible strength during this cancer journey, and going through the amputation.  You have made the hard decisions because you love Tate so much.  You will know what is right, and you will know when it is right. Tate will lead you.

Sending you lots of strong and peaceful thoughts tonight.

 

Karen

shelbysmom
11
19 November 2011 - 6:46 am
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Oh Jan and Tate.........dammit 🙁

Unfortunately, I feel like a bit of a reluctant *expert* on end of earthly life.  I've had to send 14 beloved furkids to the Bridge since 2003.  Without fail, they all gave me a *sign* that they were ready.

That is............until my little golden girl, Frankie.  Her mobility was shot....she could not walk without assistance, but was still happy and trying to play with her pack.  (She was their leader....a stoic, quiet girl....tiny golden at 50 pounds, but if one of them got out of line, all she had to do was give THE LOOK and they straightened out!  LOL)  I knew Frankie would not tell me......my holistic vet knew it too.  I made the decision for her when the pain meds were wreaking havoc on her tummy and causing diarrhea.  Without the meds, she'd be in pain.  With them, she would soil herself.  I saw in her eyes that she was horribly embarrassed and while I pleaded with her to let go, I knew I'd have to help her earn those beautiful wings.

Personally, I'd err on the side of caution and continue pain meds....at least the ones that didn't upset Tate.  But this unfortunately is a decision you have  to make, and I so wish there were an easy solution but there's not.

I pray for many peaceful days filled with joy and love for Tate....and when it's time for him to fly, tell him a little golden girl named Frankie and her pack will be waiting for him.

Chicago, IL
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5 March 2011
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19 November 2011 - 7:26 am
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Thank you everyone.  This really helps a lot.

Tate was so normal just a day ago and the vet said "weeks" so we thought we'd have time for the cabin.  Then he said "days or weeks" after the ultrasound.  I think he meant to say "Days."  If that's the case then 6 hours in the truck today doesn't sound like a great idea.

We're just going watch him today and then decide.  Some friends up north gave recommendations, one friend had to put her golden down for osteosarcoma a couple years ago.  Maybe we'll just take him to the beach on Lake Michigan, or even over to the pond where my mom used to live.  Just get him by some water.

So far, he's doing okay on the tramadol.  Right now, he's destroying a beef knuckle.

http://tate.tripawds.com/
August 16, 2006 to November 28, 2011
TATE ~ Forever in our hearts.

Kirkland, WA
Member Since:
9 November 2010
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19 November 2011 - 7:45 am
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whe it was time for my last dog we stayed at home.  She lived to be 16 had limited mobility was blind and deaf and when it was finally time for her it was evident from her behavior that she was ready.  We spent a few days at home just being with her some close friends came by to give her pets and treats.  It was very calm and relaxing and everyone was able to enjoy just being with eachother. 

 

While the cabin sounds beautiful it also sounds like it might add more stress to the situation.  Tate sounds like he's still got some energy.  I would focus on taking him places nearby that were special and fun for him and just continue to gauge the activities to his abilities. 

 

It's a personal choice and you've always done right by your boy so far, and you'll continue to do the right thing for him.

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13 June 2011
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19 November 2011 - 8:05 am
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Jan, I am sorry to hear about Tate. Just remember, you have today...hold him, love him, play with him. Enjoy every moment you have. Reading Jerry's blog helped me too. It's true what people say...you will know when it is time. He will tell you.

After Bo was diagnosed, we wanted to take him to our 3 special places that we had so many memories with him. We made it to 2 of the 3. The week before he passed, we were going to try to take him to the last place, but we thought it would just be too much. Instead, we spent lots of quality time at home. Do what is best for you...Tate will enjoy it either way because he will be next to you.

Give Tate a belly scratch for us. We're thinking about you all!

Member Since:
19 June 2011
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19 November 2011 - 8:56 am
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We are so sorry to hear that Tate is not doing well.  It's still hard for me to post here, as my heart breaks when I hear of another tripawd whose time is near.  The loss of Hope is still fresh our hearts...

Wherever you go, Tate will be happy because he is with you, and that's what is most important to him.  The only advice I can give you is to try to stay as strong as you can for Tate as he will sense if you are afraid or sad.  That's easier said then done, I know... 

You have both fought a good battle and have encouraged so many people...thank you for being there for us.

Barb and Spirit Hope

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