Like you said, it still very early. I understand where you are coming from for sure. Shelby was my entire world. It was just the two of us and I spent over 8 months being her care-taker and making her my priority. I stopped going out w/friends, going the doctor (my own health seemed insignificant) and missed many workouts. The first week was awful.  I was lucky I got to be off work but I didn't do anything but lay in bed, binge watch Netflix (funny stuff) and cry and cry. Then I had to pick myself back up and go to work. 

And true, I spent a lot of time 'going through the motions'. The house was painfully quiet. I dreaded coming home to an empty house. And it was hard. I still have her bed in my car. BUT I started volunteering for a rescue org, kept busy at work (working long hours kept me busy and exhausted me). It DOES get better. And then I found Jasper - my new pup. That was also hard since it took about 4 months to bond w/her. 

Do I still miss Shelby? Every single day BUT the pain is less and the tears come less. I try and remember that Shelby wouldn't want me to be sad. She would want me to be happy. The first time I laced up my running shoes, I cried most of the run. I couldn't do it. But it did and does get better. 

That 'now what' feeling was really hard. I found that i kept coming here. I wanted to try and help others as they had for me and that would keep Shelby's memory alive. I kept her blog up and still do. I talk to her daily. My little Jasper keeps me on my toes for sure! 

Sending you love and healing energy! 

alison with the spirit of shelby fur-ever in her heart (and little jasper too) 

I just posted on your blog but wanted to add something here as well. Starting a blog as you did is a great way to express what you are going through and also to share more about your beautiful girl with us. When I lost my heart dog 9 years ago I created an altar and I made a nicho, among other things, as a way to channel my grief into something creative, to make something beautiful out of my pain. You could put together a photo book, or a shadow box or find some other creative way to honor Lily that suits you.    

Although it took me awhile to actually bring another dog into my life I almost immediately found myself perusing german shepherd rescue sites. It made me sad but I couldn't help myself. After a couple of months I did adopt a young dog (not a german shepherd, I wanted a dog that would not remind me of Rosa) and he kept me busy with training and walking and made me smile. But it wasn't the same. I ended up volunteering with a GSD rescue group for nearly 6 years. Every dog I helped was in honor of my girl. In the process I ended up with 3 tripawd GSDs. It took 4 dogs to fill the hole in my heart left by my Rosa!

Wishing you peace as you find your way through your grief.

xoxox

Martha and the Oaktown Pack

Our altar, in 2005 and 2014. It has grown over the years to honor many more than my Rosa.

Rosa's nicho front and back

I am sorry sorry for the loss of your sweet Lily.....trying to overcome the sense of enormous loss seems almost impossible, however, we do find ways to move on eventually. I think the most important thing is to let yourself heavily grieve for however long you need to.....we all will grieve our beloved fur-kids forever, but the hardest initial grief is what we need to cope with.

Many of us have done many things to get through this, and I guess it just depends on what your heart leads you to.....I have a pet sit business, so for me, after grieving for quite a long time, I had to jump back in and take care of other people's dogs and cats. I absolutely love doing this, and it greatly helped to be a diversion, but it was also very difficult to get through this past summer. While I was happy to have the diversion, I still missed my Polly every single minute, of every single day.

I know you will find what may help you through, may it be a photo album, blogging, or another outlet, or like many of us, staying here and trying to help others through this very scary, and difficult journey with their beloved pets......that is the most up-lifting and helpful support I can give to others, as well as myself. I still grieve and terribly miss my girl and I always will, but I also know that time is a huge healing factor, and this being a new year, a start of promising things to come.

Love,
Bonnie & Angel Polly

Do what YOU need to do to heal!!!  I'm going to sound like Nike commercial.... 

If that is screaming and crying in your basement because you are so pissed at Cancer.. then do it!  

If that is making donations to your local animal shelter, great dane rescue, dog park in Lily's name...then do it!

If that is curling up with your sweet Lily's blanket that smells like her.. then do it!

If that is spending more time with your other two senior dogs and snuggling them, loving them up, and watching cheesy tear-jerking movies so that you can blame your tears on the movie.... then do it!

If that is writting a blog all about Lily and allowing us to get to know her better, then please.... do it.

Just do it!!!!

Because you know how you feel inside.. you know how your heart aches... and you know how much your heart loved Lily. Your heart loves your other puppers, but at this time it is aching for your girl.

And we understand.  We are here, we have been there, and we know what you are going to go through.  We don't judge, we don't sign the papers to get you admitting into the looney bin either, because.. we have been there, we have done that.. and maybe even done a little bit more.. lol

Those tripawd family members who have not experienced letting go of the leash one more time... know what they are in for.. it's different when a tripawd runs for the Bridge.  We miss and ache for all our furkids who have gone to the bridge.. but when it's a tripawd princess or warrior... it's just a little different.  

Writing a blog is a great idea here... we can all share in the joy of Lily!  Even though she is not with you physically, she will always be with you in your heart.. and what better way to share her memories, silly antics, or embarassing moments than telling us all about her in a blog!!  I've been keeping up with Franklin's blog since he passed because he is the guardian angel of my present furkids.. not to mention, I am sure he is sharing stories with my other four legged members who are partay'ing at the bridge...  crikey.. that could be embarassing.. lol

On another note.. Betsy..   our hearts break with you at this time for the final adventure you are going through...  I remember the last few weeks, days were very hard.. but you know, as I did, that what we are going to do in the future.. is out of the biggest, overflowing, cup of love that we give our sweet boys and girls... and it really does make us relize just how blessed we were to have them in our lives.... and we wouldn't trade that for the world.. 

Christine... with Franklin in her heart♥