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I’m finding it so hard to cope
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Member Since:
4 December 2023
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16 March 2024 - 2:08 pm
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Here is the text of my tribute to her from my social media. 💔

I don’t usually bare my soul on social media, but here goes…

I got my little Zoey when I was 26 years old. I always wanted a pet of my own. And about 6 months in I thought to myself, “What have I done!” She was such a handful. Like a little Tasmanian devil! Tore everything up, got into so many things, I always had to have an eye on her. But no matter what, I always had this deep love and appreciation for her. About 5 years in, I went through a horrible breakup and was at the lowest point I had been in my life. I was wanting to give up on life. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be alive. She was there. She didn’t leave my side, and if she did, she always had her eyes on me, standing guard. She would come over to me when I was sobbing on the floor and check in on me licking my hand. She knew I needed her.

Over the years, our bond deepened. She was part of me. Part of my soul. Wherever I went, she was there. I stayed in at home many a night because I didn’t want her to feel lonely. I always wanted her to feel loved. I always wanted her to feel safe. I always picked her up and held her and hugged her so gently so she always felt cared for.

Statistically, I had hoped for the 6-12 months that the veterinary oncologist had told me, but her cancer had other plans. So yesterday was her last day and it was filled with lots of bacon and a little bit of a shrimp bacon omelet (if she had her full appetite she would’ve been given so much more) and blueberry muffin and some rooster watching, and then I had to set her free. That might have been the hardest thing I have ever had to witness, and although I know it was the right thing to do because of the pain she was in, I can’t get it out of my head.

She has been to the beach, she’s lived in NYC, the capital of the world (the dogwalker lost her one time when I was on vacation and she roamed the streets of NYC for 6 hours! God knows what she saw!), she’s lived on an island where she has relentlessly chased roosters, she’s gotten to swim in multiple oceans (although she hated it every time), she’s flown on countless flights over 36,000ft in the air, flown first class on those lucky days we got upgraded, been to a drag show, been on boats, she’s been on countless road trips all over the country, she’s done so much. And yet I still feel that it’s not enough. I still feel like there’s more that we could’ve done together. Although I’m grateful for the long goodbye I’ve gotten with her these past three months, it’ll never feel like enough time.

I am completely heartbroken and shattered. She was my everything. I couldn’t have asked for a better pup/best friend/dog daughter. She has been the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me in my life and I am absolutely gutted to let her go, but she was in pain and it was time. I know that if an afterlife exists, she will be waiting for me, because that’s where I would want to be, somewhere with her. I know some people won’t get this because some people think they are just animals. But they are so much more than that. What we had wasn’t a dog/owner bond. We are and will always be connected through spirit. I’ll love you til the end of my days Zoey and I promise to never ever forget you. 💔

Sept 1, 2008-March 15, 2024

The Rainbow Bridge



Member Since:
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16 March 2024 - 7:24 pm
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Beautiful! That tribute video and your post are sooooo touching, thank you for sharing.

It's beautiful to see her life with you. I hope that putting the video together helped you feel even just a smidge better, by looking back and remembering all the joyful times you had together. She had the most incredible life with you! And she SMILED in so many of those photos. Like a real smile smiley4. She just knew what a great human you are, and felt good knowing that she was such a huge part of your life. You can see your bond in the photos, it's so strong, and always will be. 

Zoey came into your life for a reason, and that is destiny. It's a bond that will never fade, and unite you through time. She is your heart dog now and always.

Give yourself permission to grieve, to take the time you need to heal. When you can smile more than you cry as you think of her, you will know you're in a better place. We get it, and we are here for you whenever you want to share mor of her life with us.

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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16 March 2024 - 7:48 pm
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Our dear Jeremy,  we are so very sorry you hadd to release your precious Zoey.  We understand  whennyou say gutted, heartbroken, shattered....and even  those words dont have the depth of despair to describe the heart ache.  There are no words, just no words.

Our tears fall with yours.  I must confess I have not  been able  to view her celebration of life video nor read your tribute  with the proper focus.  Too many tears for you right now.

I do know this, she loved every second of her earth life  with you.  You absolutely  gave her the gest life💖

Love and light

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!!!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Livermore, CA




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16 March 2024 - 9:23 pm
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Jeremy,

I'm so sorry that Zoey has crossed.  You gave her a spectacular, beautiful, full life.  She was there for you all those years and you were there for her when it was most important. 

Most of us here have made that decision and faced that day and we all know that there is no such thing as 'just a dog'. One day all those memories will make you smile- but for now take your time and grieve your girl. 

The special ones never really leave us. She might be hard to see right now with the grief so new and heavy, but she is with you. Zoey will live on forever in your heart and so will always be by your side.

 

Karen and the Spirit Pug Girls and Boy

Tri-pug Maggie survived a 4.5 year mast cell cancer battle only to be lost to oral melanoma.

1999 to 2010

 

              Maggie's Story                  Amputation and Chemo

Member Since:
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17 March 2024 - 4:29 pm
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Thank you all for your support. And you’re right Jerry she did smile. She was so loved. I poured all my love into her over the years. Now that she’s gone, I feel so empty.

I also can’t stop replaying her final moments. I know it was the right thing to do. She was in pain. But making that decision just hurts me so much. I’m having a really tough time. It was just me and her for almost 16 years. It’s hard for me to leave the house. I just lay in her dog bed and cry all day. I feel like my heart is so broken. 

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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17 March 2024 - 5:22 pm
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  poured all my love into her over the years. Now that she’s gone, I feel so empty.

The void, the empty space in your heart does indeed make you feel empty inside.

 

    I also can’t stop replaying her final moments. I know it was the right thing to do.

 

I know this doesnt help, but there isnt anyone here who will tell you they don't do the same thing over and over and over.  .    Emotions are sooooo raw at this point and the "event" took tremendous  courage and immense amount of selfless love to release her.   

You are drained on levels like you have never experienced before.  It is only normal, if there is such a thing, at this point to relive the transition that was so fresh in your mind as opposed to the 16 years of wonderfully happy memories.  They aren't as fresh right now, understandably so.

The only thing I can offer is to remember that Zoey, although she knows you will be sad, wants to watch over you as you celebrate her glorious life with a smile. Her life was so much more than the moments it took for transition. 

With love and .ight

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!!!

 

PS.  here's another link to a "poem" that may help you feel like you aren't going crazy.....even though it feels like it

 

    

   

 

Screenshot_20240317-172653_Gmail.jpgImage Enlarger

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

The Rainbow Bridge



Member Since:
25 April 2007
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17 March 2024 - 8:09 pm
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Aww Sally, thank you for sharing your wisdom and that beautiful poem.

Those final moments replaying in your head are your brain's way of making sense of everything. I did the same thing when we lost our Jerry, and later, Wyatt, and even when my father passed. It's a hard thing for us to go through, and we all work through those moments on our own timeline.

When you find yourself replaying her last moments, remember that you have the power to "change the channel." Switch it to a happier memory, you have so many to choose from! She was so much more to you than those final moments. In time it will feel more natural to think of them first, but for now, see if you can get yourself to get the good times in your head when you start feeling the heartache.

We have a really good tripawd talk about pet loss that you might want to check out:

https://tripawd.....loss-help/

Member Since:
28 February 2024
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18 March 2024 - 6:43 am
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I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful dog! Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time and I wish you comfort during this difficult time.

Member Since:
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19 March 2024 - 4:32 pm
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Sally, Thank for your insight. It truly hits home ❤️ and the poem is beautiful. And Jerry I listened to the pet loss talk also and that was wonderful. I might try to join the pet loss support group. I think I need it. Thank you all ❤️

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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19 March 2024 - 5:48 pm
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Thanks for checking in Jeremy.   We know it's hard....everything  is so bleeping hard and  an effort because  it feels like your whole world has stopped.

When you can, we would love to hear avout Zoey and some of her antics that mee you laugh.   Obviously she loved chasing Roosters.  Glad she never caught  one as they can be quite a formidable  warrior fighter!  I think she knew you would jump in to save her so that gave her the same "warrior fighter" attitude.

 

This is another poem written by someone who "gets it". Sorry 9t's so small.....hopefully  you can read it.

 

  Screenshot_20240317-230202_Chrome.jpgImage Enlarger

  Screenshot_20240317-230221_Chrome.jpgImage Enlarger

 

 

  

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

The Rainbow Bridge



Member Since:
25 April 2007
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20 March 2024 - 12:50 pm
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I'm so glad you found it helpful. I would definitely join the pet loss group, it really helps to be with and talk to others who are in the middle of such raw grief.

I agree, we need some Zoey highlights when you feel up to it. sp_hearticon2

Houston, Texas

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22 April 2024
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22 April 2024 - 2:02 pm
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