Well folks, it's with a heavy heart that I have to tell you Gus earned his wings late this afternoon.

I knew this day was near,and lucky for me he just went to sleep. Unfortunately I had left for just a little bit, went to see him before I did, told him he was my buddy, what a good looking guy he was, he was a good boy and that I loved him and never thought that would be the last time he would hear my voice.

The one thing I really wanted was to be with him when he went, and as mad at myself that I had gone for just a little while, I have had an undescribable feeling of that was the Lord helping both of us, I don't feel guilty but disappointed, but for some reason in my heart I am getting this feeling that this was the way it was suppose to be. Maybe he held on for me while  I was there, which in turn kept him struggling longer, I'll never know, but at least I know he knew I was with him. My daughter was coming over tonight, and I wanted her to be able to tell him goodbye since if he would have made it through the night I probably would have called the vet tomorrow, but he left before she got here.

He was starting to have more trouble breathing, and I have said right along I wouldn't make him suffer for my sake. I have been sleeping downstairs the last week to keep near him and check on him through the night, so we were together alot these last few days. The one thing I have struggled with was do I bury him or cremate. We have dogs, cats, cows, goats, and guinea pigs buried arond here, but I don't think I can dig this hole. Gus always wanted to be wherever we were, whether it was the barn, house, fields, he would always sleep in our room, and I think I owe it to him to keep him with us.

I know we gave him the best life a dog could have. I'll miss watching him come up the lane head held high with his "prize", then walk around with a huge belly for a day and a half after he ate it, or following us back to the field when we went back, if the crop was high, all you would see was that black curl of his tail and then his head would pop up, he would jump through the fields if they were high, it was a hoot to watch. Or if he was laying on the couch and someone drove in, you better be right after him so he could get out there to see who it was, because he would be scratching that door to let you know he wanted out NOW. 

He loved climbing the hay mow, he would climb anything just to see what was up there, it might be a load of hay,  but he was on top. He'd jump up in the feed bunk and strut up and down knowing he was the boss. He loved to get rats(when we had them), that was a big game for him, and he would let you know if he thought there was one under a pallet or in the wall, but I could tell by the way he acted if he was thinking there was one or he knew, and most of the time he was right. If we brought new calves in or when the kids got fair pigs, he would watch them for hours at a time the first couple days. He loved to get any milk left in the bottle after we fed the calves.

Yep, he had a good life, and I don't regret how I did anything, because even after surgery, once he healed, he was enjoying life as usual, and that makes me feel good . To say I'm going to miss this guy is a huge understatement, and just like everyone here when this day comes, my heart is shattered, but I know I did everything I could for him and I wouldn't have traded him for any other dog.

I think one thing that makes it harder for us when we lose our buddies is what we went through in dealing with this crap, I think they become even more special to us, thus the pain is deeper when we lose them. I hope to have pictures up and I have some video we took of him over the last few weeks on here somewhere in the near future once I figure it out with some help.

I have said this before, you people have meant the world to us, and we would never have made this trip with this much comfort without any of you. I hope this site stays here for a long time, since we can all say we know how you feel when someone new comes along with the same anxiety, panic, fear, or unknowns that we all had at one time. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for alll your thoughts and prayers, hugs and well wishes.

I had hoped to have Gus alot longer than we did when this journey started, and I'm not looking forward to getting up and not having him here every morning, I already miss him and he is still here on the floor next to me, but like I tell people when they get to this point, let the memories help you through. I hope I can practice what I preach, paws up, Spirit Gus and Dan