Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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As I know how hard it was to come up with the words for each of you to pay your respects to Fortis and comfort us, it is equally hard for me to come up with the words that would even slightly touch how much I appreciate every single post that has been made. Not sure why at this specific moment I decided to get on the forum and read the remaining entries I have yet been able to finish, but I feel and have felt this whole week that I wanted you all to know it has meant everything to Brett and I to know so many people loved our sweet baby and care about us as well. I sincerely can not thank you enough.
Today is one week since the most difficult day I can ever recall in my life. Not one day has gone by without many many tears and I don't see how there ever will be. I (we) do not feel good about what transpired in the last week of Fortis's life or with the decisions we made and they can't be undone. If we had it to do all over again we believe we would not have made the same choices for our best friend. It is difficult to mourn the loss with so much guilt and regret.
I am lost right now. I miss him and I want him back. He is at every corner I turn in my house yet my house is so quiet and lifeless without him. Fortis had a big backyard that he loved but I cannot go there now without him. It is difficult to get in our vehicle and to sit in the passenger side instead of climbing in the back with him. And on and on..... I am aware these are not positive thoughts and maybe not what I should be sharing but they are the true and honest thoughts that I have each day. I would give anything to hug and kiss his face one more time and to let him know how much I love him.
I can only hope that the memories of the most beautiful 11 years of my life spent as Fortis' mom will at some point take precedence over the memory of this past week. I pray that time will come soon. Please don't think I am not thankful for the blessings that we brought to each others lives all these years. There is actually nothing I am more thankful and grateful for.
Thank you to the love of my life, Fortis, for so so much joy and to Fortis' Dad for being the strength that allows me to keep going and helps me remember the good times.
I consider you all very special friends and your kindness will never be forgotten.
Fortis' Mom
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Pattie, it's great to hear from you. We have been thinking about you and Brett and sending out love out to you.
Speaking as Jerry's Mom here...you don't need to feel badly about conveying your feelings. We are here to listen.
Our own experience when we made the decision to set Jerry's spirit free was similar. Jim and I were lost, without a co-pilot, and it was very hard to know that our trio was missing a leader. We spent a long time hiding out, not knowing how we could ever continue doing what we loved best without Jerry. To this day, I get a lump in my throat when I see his old toys, or his spot in the RV.
I also questioned myself about whether or not we had jumped too quickly in making the decision. Should we have waited? What if there was a miracle drug that could help? What if he could've gotten better? There were many weeks when I kicked myself for not doing what I thought was enough for him. Then I realized, we never can give "enough" to those we love the most. And I had to catch myself....all those lessons Jerry taught us, about living in the now, and not regretting the past...were for nothing if I didn't see the beauty in life before me, even without his beautiful self along for the ride.
We wrote this post, which kind of sums up how we came to this realization:
I'm not sure if I'm helping here. I know everyone's situation is so different, but I just want you to know that your feelings are normal and worthy of talking about. We understand, and we are here for you.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
Pattie, and Brett,
Here is the exact right spot to express how you feel. Everything you said is real, honest, and we all can understand.
I too was blessed with 11 years with Maggie- you must remember that you had 11 years with Fortis, and have only spent a week without him. I think Beth posted that the only way now is 'through'... that is so true.
I am more than 7 months without Maggie, and I still sleep with her blanket on my bed. Today for the first time I bought some packaged chicken at the store and didn't immediately think of her (I did eventually though), it was always one of her favorite foods. I know how silly and stupid that would sound to some of my friends- but I know my friends here will understand.
You guys hang on to each other. I promise that it will get better, and that we will be here whenever you need us.
Karen
Brett and Patty, what you are feeling is normal, for those of us that have been there the feelings at this point are extremely mixed. After Gus died, there wasn't a day for several weeks that I didn't look around the yard to see where he was when I drove in, or the emptiness I felt when I would go to the barn and not have him out in front, and I still have some guilt when I go back the lane on a tractor and he isn't out in front, he was always on the left side, looking back once in a while to make sure I was still there, when he heard the tractor start he knew we were going back. We feel a sense of guilt because we are doing things the way we always have, but now our buddies aren't there to do them with us, unfortunately it's part of the healing proccess, and for me time is one of the most important things that lets you finally look back and smile when we think or talk about our best friends. Yep, it sucks, big time, but hopefully you can feel some comfort knowing everyone here is with you, and anyone else that gets to this part of their journey. Big Paws up for all our friends at the Bridge, Spirit Gus and Dan
My buddy Gus had a left front amputation on April 7, 2010 and lived a great life until July 26,2010
Aww Pattie,
I'm a glad to see you posting your thoughts. Telling how you feel helps a tiny bit. It doesn't make the pain go away but it helps some.
It's been very sad over here in Cometland with the loss of Mackenzie and now Fortis. I grew to know them so well, that I loved them so much. I delighted in hearing about their daily routines. I was thrilled to see you get one more day, one more week and one more month knowing that it was memories that you would cherish. I never seem to get that chance when I lose someone - they have all died suddenly. So for me, it's a gift you've been given to have that extra time. And you got it with Fortis. He had a voice and he became loved by people all over the country.
Living with cancer and knowing its final outcome is a heavy burden for everyone. It's a daily dark cloud that never really disappears. A moment of fun and laughter softens the daily burden but it's always there. And in the end, you feel like there could have been more to do. You feel like you did everything wrong. You feel like it's all your fault. Nothing went according to plan. But cancer has so many twist and turns that it can defeat the strongest. It makes those left behind wondering how could something be so brutal? It must have been my fault because nothing can be so terrible.
This is where the guilt plays a heavy role on your mind. We nurture, we protect and we love; and to not be able to save them leaves a terrible, terrible feeling. It's easy to blame yourself. But there is nothing to be sorry about. Our fur babies had a wonderful life. The best life a dog could have on this earth. As with everyone here, you did everything right. You let go and you ended the suffering. And you know in your heart, Fortis would want it that way. He wouldn't have wanted either one of you to feel tormented. He made you happy and loved making you happy. That's how they all want us to be even after they are gone.
Now you have to forgive yourself and let the natural healing of a broken, empty heart begin. The memories will eventually lead to smiles. With time, it will better.
Please don't ever feel alone. We, in our small way will try to help both of you get through this. It's not going to be easy. But we also know you would do it for us, too. Which is why our community is special.
You and Brett have each other and the love you shared for Fortis will see you this. I promise.
Please take care of yourself.
Hugs.
Comet - 1999 to 2011
She departed us unexpectedly January 23, 2011 at the age of 12 1/2.
She was born with a deformed front leg and a tripawd all of her life.
Brett & Pattie:
I know my wife already posted condolences, but I wanted to add my own. We always regretted never having the chance to meet Fortis, but it looked like you gave him an amazing life with lots of time outdoors, and that's a life well lived for any dog.
It will be a long time before you stop thinking about him every time you go somewhere he liked, or see the spots around your house where he liked to hang out. But hard as it may be, don't stop going to the places he loved or stop doing the things he liked to do. In a dog's simple reasoning, if he loved going somewhere, then you must have loved it too. So he wouldn't want you to avoid his old haunts. Maybe not right away, but go back there someday and honor him. Maybe even with a new buddy, once it's time to let one into your lives again.
Pattie, I believe this is the very best place to lay open your dispair, your dread, your concerns. So many of the wonderful folks here have been where you are today. Many have already said wonderful things to help you ease toward healing.
Whatever happened to make you question your decision is only the pain of letting go. We all know that you and Brett made the best choice you could make based on the information you had at the time. That really is all we can ever do. No one makes the decision to let go lightly, and after spending an amazing 11 years with Fortis, I would not expect anything other than you feeling lost without him. Please don't beat yourself up for doing your best, Fortis would never ask for more than that.
I think we all begin this journey knowing we will likely have to make that tough decision in the end. It is part of being chosen to take this journey with them. It isn't an easy journey and only the special humans are chosen - the ones who can give their all, and love with their entire heart. That is why you are where you are, that is why it hurts so deeply, and that is why we are here to stand beside you as you heal.
Healing is very personal. We all heal at a different pace, in a different way. You will find that way when the time is right.
Praying you find peace as you begin living with 11 years of sweet memories.
Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul. Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.
Thanks to all of you for sharing your own feelings and experiences and helping me to feel somewhat normal. Think I am still far from feeling normal right now because Fortis was my normal but you guys have given me some great words of wisdom to think about and I appreciate you taking time out to do so.
We had family come in to stay the night last night and even though short lived it was so nice to have some kind of noise again in the house. Today is Brett's birthday (shhh) and as usual he got a special card and gift from Fortis. I know it meant a lot to him. He and Fortis always celebrated their birthdays together because they are both in January. It was hard because Fortis was always right up in the middle of everything and loved the opening of presents but he was not here this year. Again, I could not help but to have tears. Another moment that he has always been a part of. I am having a hard time adjusting to the changes that take place everyday against my will. I do not like the new routine that has been forced upon me.
Brett and I talk more and more of the good times and it does warm our hearts to remind each other of how special Fortis really was. But one thing that I could really use is......some sunshine!!! It has been cold, cloudy and raining every day since Fortis has been gone. I wish it did not have the effect it has on me but it makes the sadness that my heart carries even bigger if that is possible.
Hope everyone enjoys the rest of your weekend and thanks for listening.
Fortis' Mom
Pattie & Brett:
We are so sad to hear your loss of Fortis. There are no words that can eliminate the pain you are feeling but a lot of supporters have posted some very comforting words. Tears are flowing as I write this as Rusty's time will come all to soon; hopefully reading the statements of love and support on this site will ease our pain as well.
Take care and remember the good times as I am sure that is what Fortis would want you to do.
Chuck & Rusty
Rusty is a Labradoodle who was diagnosed with level 3 Fibrosarcoma on January 16th, 2010 and had his left hind leg amputated on January 25th, 2010 five days before his 18 month birthday. Please see Rusty's blog @rusty.tripawds.com. He is putting up one heck of a fight against this terrible disease.
We are deeply saddened to hear of the loss of Fortis. With the snow/ice storm here in Atlanta, I wasn't able to post a message (it's too hard with the iphone) until I got back to work. I cried when I read your post, as I feel like I really got to know Fortis. I will always remember him in the santa cap! Sending you many, many golden hugs. Know that5 Fortis will live in your heart always, and that he is running free at the bridge.
Cathy/Jane/Spirit Skyler/Chloe
For what it's worth, I finally got together over the weekend with a fellow tripawd friend...we always said we'd get together with our tripawd flat-coat girls but never did and then it was too late. So we did yesterday with the new girls in our lives and cried over the ones we lost...they were so brave and strong and will always hold a special place in our hearts. They will always be brave and strong...and so very special.
Pat, Angel Ruthie & puppy Tess
Fortis's Mom and Dad:
I am not on here much anymore and this is why. 🙁 It breaks my heart so much to hear of your loss, I cannot even put it into words. Fortis has always reminded me of Raven, the strong big lug type. 😉
Anyways, I am so sorry to get in my condolences late, this is truly not what I wanted to see upon dropping in. You are in my thoughts and prayers and many of us certainly do know what you are going through. Honestly, I don't think that there is any pain like it.
Hugs,
Dawn
Rottie Raven, osteosarcoma at 8-1/2 years old, amputation in October '09 and in February '10 due to liver mets he went back to heaven where he came from. raven.tripawds.com
Now I have Miles, rottie mix amputee from a shelter and traveled 1500 miles to find his way here through the Rescue Railroad thanks to tripawds.com. miles.tripawds.com
Dear Pattie and Brett,
Even though I posted when I first heard of Fortis' passing, I need to tell you again how much I cared for him and continue to think of you all.
Pattie, your honesty and ability to share the real and raw feelings is such a good thing.
It is a good thing for you to have this place to do so.
It is good to have people to listen and comfort you as best we can.
It is good to relive the memories of the wonderful 11 years.
It is good to have the legacy of 'Fortis the Great' live on as an inspiration to all the new folks who find Tripawds.
It is good for pawrents of the living and the Spirit heroes, to feel your strength as you move through all of these stages of grief and broken heartedness.
I hope you and Brett can find time each day to remember your big boy's contributions to this world.
Thank you again for sharing him with us.
Deborah
Mom to Spirit JD and the quadpaws Serena & Maya
JD
One Tough Girl
(1999-2010)
-Diagnosed with osteosarcoma of her left front leg –
-Amputation July 23 2010 –
-The cancer didn't get her, but she is gone-
-She fought the cancer and loved life till bloat brought her down August 29th, 2010-
Now she watches over her mom and two new sisters, the Quad-Paws Serena and Maya
Brett, there is no need to feel guilt or sadness about not being here. You will always be a part of this community and Fortis' story will continue to inspire others for a long, long time. Love never dies or goes away. You always have a home here if and when you are ready to return.
May your journey be beautiful and all that you imagined it would be. When you're there on the AT, think of me along the way....I hiked it in Vermont.
Farewell for now my friend, and have a great trip.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
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