Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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Hi Tripawds,
I've been away from Tripawds a little over a week...I've been distracted. I had been doing alright, not great, but alright...only to get heartbreaking news that my grandmother has lung cancer. Lung cancer? Can you believe it? Just when I had to say goodbye to my best friend because tumors had filled his lungs, I find out that my strong, perfect, saint of a grandmother has a tumor in her lungs. She'll literally be on the same chemo as Theo...just makes me sick!
As the topic suggests, I now feel like I'm just in a constant state of coping, coping with unknowns, coping with diagnoses, coping with horrible surgeries, coping with death. I guess the only upside to this, is I'm handling the news the best out of everyone in my family because I feel like I've lived through this already...just two months ago.
I know this is life and as I get older my husband and I will go through this many times around, and I know we'll all get through somehow, but this black cloud is killing me right now. The consistency of bad, it's just suffocating.
As far as my sweet Theo. I miss him constantly, but mostly once I leave work. Sometimes my husband is at the gym or his baseball league and all I have is an empty apartment. Some people might suggest to get a hobby or activity, and I have those, I do...But I just don't feel like actually doing any of them. I look for signs constantly to find a message from Theo. I've also started carrying his baseball in my purse 24/7. I feel like I'm finding myself less and less likely to want to part with things. At first, it felt like a fire sale, I wanted to get rid of stuff, now I can't bear the thought of even moving things. I even keep buying things online that remind me of Theo. I found a trivet on Ebay with a Chow-Chow on it and it looked like Theo so I bought it. Granted, it does make me happy whenever I go in the kitchen, but never in my life would I have thought I would spend $40 on a TRIVET!
I know we all grieve differently, and it's not uncommon to do the one step forward, two steps back...I just think all the bad news lately has caused me to regress. I do feel like Theo is calling me to save a fur baby soon. My heart is empty and I have so much love to give, so many angels out there that deserve a life as great as Theo's. Maybe a pup, maybe two kittens...I'm not there yet, but just thinking about it.
So that's where we are right now...just coping, just missing everything about my boy...
So sorry to hear you are struggling (coping) right now. You know what, unfortunatelty, many of us here are doing just what you are doing….coping! Coping is a good one-word answer I tell most people how I am doing…just getting by each day.
I wish we didn't have to bear this extreme brief but as many have said, you love hard, you grieve hard!
I get how you feel, as each day is a struggle to get through but hopefully the days will get easier.
Keeping you in our thoughts,
Stirling and Guardian Tahoe
"Tahoe" - Our Amazing Superman and Best Friend.
Dec. 01-03 to Aug. 19-14
Diagnosed with Periarticular Hystiocystic Sarcoma Feb 14-13; Amputation March 18-13, and diagnosed with STS April-14. Tahoe touched so many people while visiting us, leaving a massive void in our lives. Always Missed, Never Forgotten!!
"Coping" is a good word to describe how we get through the grief process. And I'm so sorry to hear that now your grandma is facing cancer. You're spirit is strong though and like you mentioned you seem to be coping better than other members in your family since you went through this with your precious Theo. It may seem daunting right now but you will get through this and life will keep moving forward.
And like you I too had a lot of love to give to another fur baby. I will tell you that I still miss my Leland and cry over not having him but bringing a pup into the home has brought smiles and noise back into a home that was nothing but sadness after we let Leland go. Take your time...you'll know when you're ready.
Sending you a hug!!
Sahana and her Angel Leland
November 17, 2009 - June 30, 2014
May you finally be healthy and running free at the Rainbow Bridge. Until we meet again my sweet boy!
Ah, the $40 trivet! I know, we all do crazy things to fill the emotional void when we are hurting. I totally understand that.
I am SO sorry about your Grandma, that's awful news to get when you're in the midst of such grief. You are so wise when you say;
I guess the only upside to this, is I’m handling the news the best out of everyone in my family because I feel like I’ve lived through this already…just two months ago.
Yes, you are indeed stronger, and that experience is helping you understand the shock and the feelings of grieving over such news. Theo's experience and his courage throughout it all taught you how to cope so much better than if you had never gone through it before. This will help your grandma and your family so much. Use it as therapy, use it to show everyone you love how to Be More Dog . I know you can do it.
Keep moving forward, one day at a time, it's all anyone can do, we are only human. If it helps, what about volunteering at shelter? That will not only get your mind off of things but help you feel better about helping to share the love that's in your heart for all creatures.
{{{{hugs}}}}
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
Oh I am sooooo sorry to hear about your grandmother. I lost my father to lung cancer as well and it's a cruel disease but there are so many advances in modern medicine now and treatments available that it has to be better! (I lost my father in 1997 after a 7 year fight but they gave him a year so I know that positive thinking helped us).
I know what you mean about coping too. It is hard. I come home at night and I am drained and some nights, it is hard to be peppy for my little Jasper now. I wear a necklace that I had made for Shelby after she passed daily and it feels like she is close to my heart. I have Shelby's bandanna in my bed with me. I stare at her photos and talk to her daily.
Sending you mountains of love and hugs ...
Alison with the Spirit of Shelby fur-ever in her heart (and little Jasper too)
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
So sorry to hear about your Grandma. Yes, I agree that going through this journey does make you stronger. You will be there in a way nobody else can for your Grandma. The trivet, I get it. I bought stuff for Ty's garden and after not buying a sign at the beach, came home and looked for it online. Got a coffee mug with the picture instead. I think everyone gives differently, there is no right or wrong way, except maybe stuffing and ignoring it. Thinking of you, Lori and Ty
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
So very sorry to read this heartbreaking news regarding your grandmother, and I agree with Alison, the treatments have gotten so much better to help your grandmother fight this. Bad things in life seem to gang up on us when we least expect it, trust me, it has happened to all of us including myself......we will be here to help hold you up, and get you through your losses.
You couldn't have picked a better choice of descriptive words than "coping", and sometimes, that is a stretch ......but we ultimately do cope, and go forward, somewhat through an everlasting fog, and do try to adjust to the new normal. Our hearts never completely heal, but speaking for myself, that is ok......
I think you wanting to entertain the idea of new fur babies to love, has absolutely proved that your heart is healing somewhat ......Theo would want you to share your love with a new pup or kitty. I also think spending $40 for a special trivet in remembrance of Theo is great ! I am still debating getting a Cuddle Clone in Polly's likeness for $200 a pop !! I think when we grieve, we are open to anything that will bring our beloved angel Tripawds back to us somehow.....
Keeping you and your grandmother in my thoughts and prayers, {{{hugs}}}
Bonnie & Angel Polly
That avatar picture....no matter what's going on and no matter if the subject is sad......it still makes me smile to see one of the most uniquely xutese mugs in the land!!! 'Love this little guy so much....and you too!!
You've articulated emotions and thoughts so very well.
That Theo is still teaching and seeting an example about acceptance and making everyday xount! really like what Jerry said about you showing everyone to "Be More Dog ". That makes Theo happy too knowing his life is still having a positive impact in so many ways.
I agree with the others about all the strides made in this stupid piece of crap disease. I know your Grandma is a strong and positive sweet soul and all that's a plus. How do I know? Look at her granddaughter....genetics!
I've become a hoarder of everything Happy Hannah....still nave some of her ice cream containers in the freezer, her turkey liverwurst, her half full M&M bag, some of her popcorn, and one of my favorite remembrances, a spot of dried slobber on the floor! Crazy loves company!
I wish I could take your hurt away. We can only let you know we understand like no others can. And many of us understand the fear and panic when our humans are diagnosed with that crap disease. Keep staying connected, okay?
It's still so very, very early in the grief lrocess....and it is a process, different for all of us, but still a process we have to go through.
To go home to an empty house.....that compounds the lpss so badly. Happy Hannah sent me Merry Myrtle approximately two months after her transition. The sadness and waves of crying are still there, but now I have smiles and joy again mixed in....and a big chunk of love to cuddle with in the bed! It will happedn for you too! I think that little trivet may be of clue of what Theo has in store for you!!! Just sayin'.............
Sending you lots of lpve and hugs! And give Grandma a hug for us too!!!
Sally and My Eternal Light Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. I hope she does well with her treatments. My sister in law's mom did well with hers for several years. She lived well for far longer than we all would have guessed.
As for getting another baby to love, I am all for that as long as you are ready. We got a new foster two days after losing Millie. I don't miss Millie any less (got to crying the other night just because I went outside at bedtime with some of the other dogs, something I did with Millie every night to be sure she got down all the ramps & stairs OK), BUT having to train a young energetic mannerless pup has been a nice distraction. Another Dal Pal of mine lost their Lizzie a bit over a year ago. They were not ready for another dog, but when they went to pick up Lizzie's ashes, there were 3 little homeless kittens there that weren't even old enough to go to a new home yet. They signed up to take all three & in a few weeks went back tot he vet to pick up their new babies. They put in a lot of time & effort to really make the house a kitty house (starting with the Florida room where the itty bitties grew up until they were big enough to be safe in the whole house). Watching (& photographing) them growing up really helped them cope with the loss of their dog.
I don't see anything wrong with treating yourself to a little treasure like a $40 trivet. Sometimes it;s nice to have something to hold onto & it always makes me feel better to buy something new!
Sonya & "Millie"--born Feb 1999, diagnosed with OSA 8/27/14, set free 9/27/14
(RIP baby girl)
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