Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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I have been thinking of my Callie girl so much the past few days. Our nightmare with OSA began last July...diagnosed 7/3/11 with amputation 7/14/11. She eventually lost her battle on 2/13/12, 5 months ago today. I remember being so optimistic last July that Callie would beat the odds, and boy did she try, but it just wasn't meant to be. I'm sure she would have kept fighting for us for some time too, but we couldn't bear to watch her struggle any longer. Deciding to let her go was absolutely the hardest decision I have ever made. There were plenty of tears for first 2 1/2 weeks after she passed, but then I gave birth to my second child a little early, so my grieving time was cut short. (I found out I was pregnant the week of Callie's amputation...talk about a stressful time!!!) Having a baby is definitely a good distraction from losing a loved one because my thoughts were immediately turned to my human family. Now that some time has passed and our family has settled into our new routine, I have had more time to think of my loss lately, especially with the one year ampuversary here. I cried the other night for the first time in awhile thinking of her....Oh, I miss my sweet girl so much! We are keeping my brother's dog this coming week while they are on vacation, which has also help to bring on my memories of Callie, as there will be a dog in the house again. My husband is very eager to get another dog sometime soon. I do miss the companionship of a dog, especially for my kids, but I am hesitant to get another one so soon. Callie was my first pet that was my own as an adult and my first baby. I don't know how I could ever love another dog as much as I loved Callie. I feel like I may even resent the new dog in a small way because it would not be my Callie. How have any of your experiences been with a new dog after your loss?
Glad to hear from you and to know that your family is well. I have to say that after the loss of our first dog (he died very unexpectedly of liver failure at only 2.5 yrs old) we struggled with whether to get another dog. I wanted one and my husband had the exact same worries as you and did not want to get one. I started volunteering with a local shelter so that I could be around dogs since we weren't going to get another at the time, and Greg came on occasion to help out. He was there the day a man brought in mom, dad and seven puppies that he 'found in the woods" behind his house. Yeah. Anyway, Greg fell in love with the puppies and we ended up adopting two - Zeus and Merlin. We fell in love with them and never regretted the decision. They were obviously different than Spanky - just as they were different from each other - but we loved them completely and adored each personality for its own uniqueness.
It is a very personal decision for each family but when the time is right it will all work out. Good luck!
Zeus was a Husky mix diagnosed with Osteosarcoma at age 11. A visible lung met and suspicious spot on his liver meant a poor prognosis-six weeks was our vet's best guess. We decided to fight for our boy and his right front leg was amputated on 12/1/11. We did six rounds of chemo, changed his diet and spoiled him completely rotten. We were blessed with 10 great months after diagnosis. Against the odds, the lung met remained a single met and grew very little over those months. A wonderful furbaby with the most gentle spirit, he fought with a strength that we never imagined he possessed. We have no regrets...
http://zeuspod......pawds.com/
Oh these times we remember our best friends hit us with such a whallop when we least expect it, don't they?
First of all, congratulations on your new baby!
I think you're experiencing delayed grieving. It's healthy and normal, and to be expected after sharing such a deep bond with Callie. Let yourself feel it, don't deny it, and help yourself get through it by talking about it to people who understand, journaling, creating a memorial for Callie, whatever makes you feel like you are honoring her memory as you see fit.
Everyone grieves differently, so don't make any hasty decisions about adopting another dog until you feel you are ready. Hubby might be ready before you, but maybe you can both meet halfway about bringing a new pack member in, by fostering a dog in need?
You are a real dog person, and in time, you will find the right dog to bring into your life. While it will be hard not to compare him or her to Callie, as your bond strengthens you will find there is no comparison, because each dog brings different happy times and learning experiences to the table. Your next dog will also be a great companion for your family, and enrich your lives in so many new ways. But dont' be in a rush; give things time, adopt when you are ready.
We send all our love and hugs as you cope with such a great loss.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
I'm sorry you are missing your girl - but it's only natural. It hasn't been that long. I still miss Abby terribly and we just hit the 6 month mark.
As for getting another dog - like Jerry said, everyone kinda has their own timeline there. Fostering might be a good idea. Then if you don't fall in love with the dog, at least you're helping it out until someone else does. And if you do fall in love with it, you get to join the Failed Fosters club. 🙂
For us, after our beloved beagle, Bailey died, we waited 6 weeks and then got Abby. I'd forgotten what a pain puppies could be and she was definitely a terrorist. But we feel in love with her just the same, and she turned out to be such an amazing presence in our lives. When she passed, we talked about taking a long break - at least a few months - from having a dog. But only 5 days after she died (5 days!) we saw Rita's picture and we couldn't resist her. She looked so much like a mix of Bailey and Abby that we kept looking at her picture and a week later she came home with us.
And we love her so much and she makes us smile and laugh. It's not the same as with Abby, and once in a while if I'm really missing Abby and Rita does something to bug me I feel annoyed that she's NOT Abby - not that I'm mad at her, but just PO'd that Abby's gone - but that always passes quickly and then I'm so happy that Rita is here with me.
So all that to say, yeah, you might "resent" the other dog - but for me, that feeling was infrequent and fleeting and I'm so happy we got another pup.
Of course - I work at home and don't have a baby to take care of, so I needed some company! I'm sure in good time, whatever is meant to be will be. (And now I'm going to bust into my Doris Day imitation with a few bars of Que Sera Sera...) 🙂
Hang in there. It's tough when we lose our beloved pups. They are family.
Jackie, Angel Abby & MBBunny Rita
Abby: Aug 1, 2009 – Jan 10, 2012. Our beautiful rescue pup lived LARGE with osteosarcoma for 15 months – half her way-too-short life. I think our "halflistic" approach (mixing traditional meds + supplements) helped her thrive. (PM me for details. I'm happy to help.) She had lung mets for over a year. They took her from us in the end, but they cannot take her spirit! She will live forever in our hearts. She loved the beach and giving kisses and going to In-N-Out for a Flying Dutchman. Tripawds blog, and a more detailed blog here. Please also check out my novel, What the Dog Ate. Now also in paperback! Purchase it at Amazon via Tripawds and help support Tripawds!
I think that fostering is a great idea! It will allow you to ease back into things. You don't want to get a new dog and have to return him or her when you realize that you really weren't ready yet.
I definitely know what you're talking about with the resentment - it's so hard when you're hurting and the only thing you want is your dog and no one else compares. I think it's a pretty natural feeling. To be honest, I've felt it a little bit with my current dogs, who I already love very much and have a very strong bond with, so I imagine it would be that much harder not to feel it with a new dog.
When you are ready, you will have a new dog in your life. No need to rush.
Sorry you are missing your Callie-girl. And you're right, there will never be another one like her. Just like every person is unique, every dog is too, and even having lost three in my adult lifetime, not to mention the ones I had as a child, I still miss them all differently.
Having another dog is a comfort, but yes, there are times that I resent the Monkeybutt Girls for not being Rio. However, there was a time when I clung to Rio like a life raft, but at the same time was disappointed that she wasn't my Nakita. And although I will admit to "shopping" the internet for puppies (I like having 3 dogs -- it's a good balance), I keep passing up viable puppy opportunities simply because the dogs aren't enough like Rio. Not to mention the fact that I'm afraid of loving another dog as much as I did her and having something bad take them away from me... I'm not ready for that level of emotional pain again right yet.
You'll get a new dog, when the time is right for you, and you'll love it like family, but you'll still miss Callie. All of us here know that a new dog is not a replacement, but just a way to keep moving forward with life -- and I'm pretty sure all of our fallen Tripawd heroes would want us to do that.
Hugs,
Rio's momma, Micki
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~ ~ Rio ~ ~ |
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