Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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Hi everyone:
It's been a while since I was last here. I apologize. Things with ravyn took a very serious turn last October. Her cancer was not only in the 2 small lung nodules.. the bastard was also hiding in a neck vertebra. It made its presence known in early October.. and we tried everything.. chemo, radiation.. but it was too much. She lost her ability to walk (she was a tripaw, with one hind leg) and started fading away.
I had her at Washington State University for radiation therapy. But it wasn't meant to be. She passed away on 18 November. I have a ton of guilt about everything, still cry a lot, have even been in grief therapy. I miss her so much. Life will never be the same.
The irony here is, I do oncology research and I've seen the caretakers devastation and loss of self after their loved one passes. You get this horrible diagnosis and you throw EVERYTHING you have, are and will be into their care, their happiness. You become that loved one's caretaker. Nothing you think or plan or do is without them coming into mind. Then one day, they are gone and you don't know what to do any more. I've had the hardest time with this. Ravyn, even before her cancer, was my everything. After her diagnosis, even more so. I tried to make every second count. Her happiness and comfort was all that matter to me.That just doesn't turn off as most of you here probably know.
Anyway... I adopted a puppy. He's a rottie bull mastiff and he has helped me so very much. I still hurt so badly for her, and have all this guilt to deal with. Taking her to WASU for radiation was hard, it was a 5-6 hour drive from where I live.; All her vets (oncologists, regular vet, ortho, neuro) all said she had a chance. The wonderful vets at WASU also agreed, so I left her there for therapy. I feel I should have stayed with her.. but I couldn't with my job I also HATE that I wasn't with her when she passed. I was coming to help her to the Bridge, but she passed before I got there. I know she wasn't alone when she passed.. but I still hate myself for how it happened
Her 7th birthday would have been on Oct. 28th.. it's coming up and I am really struggling with this
Anyway, thought I'd check in.. hope every is doing well. I need to check around and see....
Thanks,
Becky and Angel Ravyn
Oh, I'm so sorry to read this. It must be so hard to deal with that - but I'm sure Ravyn wouldn't want you to feel guilty or sad. She's happy and proud of you for adopting a new pup and giving him the same wonderful love that she had.
She's your special angel now and will always be with you in your heart.
Jackie, Angel Abby's mom
Abby: Aug 1, 2009 – Jan 10, 2012. Our beautiful rescue pup lived LARGE with osteosarcoma for 15 months – half her way-too-short life. I think our "halflistic" approach (mixing traditional meds + supplements) helped her thrive. (PM me for details. I'm happy to help.) She had lung mets for over a year. They took her from us in the end, but they cannot take her spirit! She will live forever in our hearts. She loved the beach and giving kisses and going to In-N-Out for a Flying Dutchman. Tripawds blog, and a more detailed blog here. Please also check out my novel, What the Dog Ate. Now also in paperback! Purchase it at Amazon via Tripawds and help support Tripawds!
Becky, I'm so sorry that Ravyn has earned her wings.
She was so strong and beautiful, and her memory will always live on. You don't have to apologize for not being here, we all cope with death in different ways.Most people have a difficult time letting go of the routine that takes over when cancer happens. It's a shock to all of a sudden not have a long list of things to do for someone you love. Only time can ease it, but that timeline is so different for everyone. Then just when you think that you're better, a milestone like a birthday happens and it starts all over again. Ugh.
As her birthday approaches, please take comfort in all that you shared together. Maybe writing about it in her blog will help, or just writing here. Many of us understand exactly what you're going through, and are here to listen if you want to talk.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
I have tears in my eyes as I read your post Becky......... you are in my prayers and know your new baby with help with the pain............. it does go away with time as everyone has said. I grieved for a year when the love of my life passed but you try and appreciate the good times and the love Ravyn gave you in her life, focus on that when the grief comes and then go for a walk with your new pup, it helps!!!!!
Your words echo my feelings exactly. I am so sorry, it seems that time heals but I don't know when it does, I'm waiting too. My boy crossed in Feb., and I still wait for the pain to lessen.
I have to say to you, you did everything possible for her, the drive, the money, the effort. Please don't beat yourself up any more, without a doubt I know Ravyn knows she was very loved by you.
Elizabeth
Diagnosed with osteosarcoma in the right front leg 8/23/10,
leg fractured 8/27/10,
leg amputated 8/30/10
http://sammyand.....pawds.com/
I couldn't begin to say how special Sammy is to us. Living and laughing with and loving this wonderful boy is priceless.
Becky, I am so sorry for your loss. Forgive yourself for not being there. We all carry some regret, and there comes a point where you just have to say you did your very best and let it fade so it isn't the most important thing in your thoughts.
Everyone handles grief differently. I thought I was strong, and prepared after a 27 1/2 month fight, but as time went on I became weaker and weaker. I would sit with my laptop every free moment and read tripawd stories and cry. Trouble had been gone several months when I finally had to admit this was not healthy. I had to step back and allow myself to heal. Fortunately, most folks manage to do a better job than I, but some don't and my message to them is to forgive themselves. One day the pain does become tolerable, but it never (or at least for me) goes away completely.
Sending healing thoughts your way.
RIP sweet Raven. Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul. Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.
Becky, I wasn't here until after you were, but I just wanted to say that your Ravyn was beautiful.
Your post echoes many of the things that I feel very strongly. The grief and guilt can sometimes be overwhelming...and you're very, very right - after they leave us, life will never be the same.
Congrats on your new addition - hopefully he will continue to help you heal.
Hugs,
Alex & Angel Holly
I am so sorry for your loss. Becky was a real beauty.
It has been almost 6 months since we lost Magnum and just when I think I'm doing OK something will happen and the pain that I thought was gone resurfaces.
What you say about not knowing what to do once you no longer have someone to care for strikes so true for me. We got a new, older rescue dog, 3 months after Magnum passed. I never thought I'd get a new furry friend that soon and I hated it when people would ask "will you get another dog?". There could never be another Magnum. But, your words have made me realise that our new dog has given me someone else to care for and while I will never ever forget or sto loving Magnum, having someone elsethat has eased the pain. Enjoy your new puppy and cherish every new day with him.
We do everything we can for our beautiful dogs but in the end cancer doesn't fight fair. It sounds like Becky wasn't alone at the end and you would have been in her heart. She would have known how much you loved her. I hope you can let go of the guilt feelings.
Sending you many hugs
Karen and Spirit Magnum
Magnum: 30th May 2002 to 5th May 2012. Lost her back left leg to osteosarcoma on 5th Sep 2011. Lung mets found on 20th Mar 2012 but it was bone mets in the hip that ended her brave battle. Magnum's motto - "Dream as if you'll live for ever, live as if you'll die today" (James Dean). Loyal, loving, courageous and spirited to the end. My beloved heart dog, see her memoirs from Rainbow Bridge ...... http://princess.....pawds.com/
I am so sorry for your loss!!! I understand the sadness- it doesnt seem much better than 9 weeks ago when our Sweetpea passed. Mu husband had his antidepressant increased. We are nurses who actually work with oncology patients- they we can deal with, but this loss is heartbreaking and there are times- I feel bad, cause I feel like such a baby. I pray for that it will get better- hugz & peaceful prayers coming your way. I also got a book - Cold noses at the Pearly Gates and it has helped.
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