It is hard.  The same as your lifestyle changed drastically upon Porthos becoming a Tripawd, it has now changed just as drastically back to 'normal' and it is a hard adjustment.  We also pulled up the runners and rugs and I cleaned out his medicine cabinet the day after Zeus left us.  Some people told us not to rush things, but we were like you - it hurt us to see those because it reminded us of the illness.

Keeping the fur was a wonderful idea.  I have a little fur from each of the three babies we have lost.  I keep it in a heart locket necklace (there is a little plastic piece on each side that would normally cover the picture, but it works beautifully to keep the fur in place).

I thought his resting place was beautiful and the stone was incredibly touching.  Please know that you are in our thoughts. We understand.

Lisa

Sorrry to hear about Portho....he had given me such encouragement in my decision to have my Faith's leg amputated in a few weeks.

Blessings,

Brenda and her kiddo's.

So true that some things are a comfort and others are devastating - silly things that you aren't ready for. After Abby died, all I really wanted to do was look at pictures of her. That helped a lot - picking out my favorites. Then I went in the cabinet in the bathroom and saw that some lotion I had was almost gone - she was a nut and liked to lick it off my legs after I put it on. That stupid almost empty bottle of lotion had me crying, just like your jar of peanut butter.

Thinking of you and hoping you have peace. I hope Porthos sends you a little sign to let you know he's okay.

Jackie, Angel Abby's mom

I cleaned up all the "bad" things the day I lost Lupe as well.  I couldn't stand to be reminded of the mats, the carpets, the pills, the food, etc. all that stood for the horrible disease that took her away from me.  I left her beds out for a while but put them away when a friend was coming to visit with her 2 dogs...Lupe's beds were hers and I didn't want them to be used be another dog.  I have not put away her leases or collars nor have I put away the little bone shaped container that had her winter coat and other stuff.  I also have only recently return to sitting in her favorite chair (I bought the furniture and she claimed the comfy chair and ottoman as her own) and I have to smile every time I sit down.

My heart goes out to you as you grieve for your special boy, he was truly handsome.  Comparing the bond between you and Porthos to that between Diane Fossey & Digit is spot on. 

You are in my thoughts...

-Kori & Angel Lupe

The first couple of weeks are the hardest.  I was in so much pain and yet numb at the same time.  I even had my first ever panic attacks (twice).  I didn't think I'd ever be able to get through it and I wished so much that I could have taken Magnum's place.  But, slowly, it does get better.  I still shed tears for Magnum (7 months on) but the pain in my heart is not as intense as it was in that first month.

I remember how empty the room felt when Magnum was gone, how empty my heart felt.   That emptiness continued for 3 agonising weeks before I started to feel Magnum's spirit with me.  Everyone is different in how they see and feel these things. I became obsessed with writing about Magnum's cancer journey and putting together photo albums.  It was my way of coping.

I also gave away all of Magnum's medicines and her food. But the carpet pieces stayed down and her bowls stayed in their spot.  They are still there and when we brought our rescue dog, Ruby, home 3 months later, the bowls became hers and so did Magnum's lead. I couldn't get Ruby interested in any toys but when I gave her Magnum's favourite soft ball she loved it.  I didn't think I'd be letting another dog have her toys, especially that one. But it felt right.

This is the hardest part of loving our beautiful dogs.   Grieve the way you need to.  Be kind to yourself.

Many hugs

Karen, Ruby and Spirit Magnum