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How I know my momma hates me, by Zephyr
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Member Since:
16 September 2011
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16 April 2012 - 4:53 pm
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Dear Monkeybutt Friends,

My momma taked-ed me to the V-E-T today.  This is how I know she hates me. 

My bottom is ouchy.  I chews it and chews it, but it still is ouchy.  I scootch in the grass, and my butt still is bugging me.  My momma says, "Zeffy, what's going on with your butt?" and she looks at my butt.  Come on, momma, how would you like sumbuddy peeking up your butt? 

Then she called Rio's friend, Dr. Rachel -- she's not my friend any more, not after what she did to me today!!!

My momma taked-ed me for a buh-bye.  I was very nervous, cuz she said my Moose had to stay home.  It's never good when she  takes only me in the car.  I have to scare away all the bad guys by myself and I don't like it.

When we finish driving, I get to get out of the car, but then I see-d that we was at the V-E-T.  NOT GOOD!!!  Every time we goes there, those people look in my mouth, stick a beeper-thingy up my butt and stick me with needles.  I don't like that place.  I tried to hide under the chairs, but they dragged me out.

Then Dr. Rachel did the most awful thing to my bottom.  She pinched and pinched my ouchy-butt, and I tried to get away by climbing up the walls.  Then the took the shavey thing and shaved my butt.  Seriously???  What did I ever do to them?  And then Dr. Rachel pinched my butt AGAIN!!!  I wanted to bite her, but I'm a good doggy, so I just cried and tried to run away.  The helper girl tried to give me liver snacks, but I didn't want them.  You can't just do that to a doggy and then make it all better by liver snacks...

Then my mean, mean momma and the mean, mean Dr. talked for a while -- something about compacted blands or something.

They gave my momma some pills and we got to leave.  And my momma kept saying, I'm sorry, Zeffy, but I don't believe her.  Cuz when we got home, she put a wet cloth on my butt and made me keep it there for a really long time.  Today was not my favorite day!!!

So, my Monkey-friends, can I come and live at your house?  Until my momma stops hating me so much?  Please?  I promise I will be a good doggy.

 

Zephyr

Zephyr

~ Zephyr ~
the Self-Proclaimed Queen of Monkeyshines

Motto: Infitinitum et ultra
Favorite Pasttimes: Chasing squirrels, looking for my shiny friends, and bowling for Tripawds
.

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Washington
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1 February 2011
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16 April 2012 - 5:07 pm
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In my defense, I've apologized profusely to her, but she keeps ignoring me. 

And also in my defense, I've never dealt with an impacted anal gland in all my doggy history, so I didn't know!!!  The butt scootching, apparently, is the first indication that there's a problem.  I had no idea -- I just thought Zephyr's propensity for eating grass was making her have an itchy bottom.  So I didn't realize there was an issue until her chewing on her rear end to the point of sogginess over the last couple of days made me look "up there," and then I just felt bad!!!

Even to my unskilled eyes, I could tell there was something going on.  So the vet visit was TOTALLY necessary, Zeff.  And although I know you feel violated, it needed to be done. 

Dr. Rachel said it will probably rupture, and that will be a whole new set of problems, but for now we try antibiotics, anti-inflammatories and hot compresses, and then she'll try again in a few days to express it again.  So, honestly, is this like the grossest issue I've had to deal with???  To date, yes, although if it ruptures, I'm sure it will only get worse.

 

Rio's (and Zephyr's) mom

the Woo

~ ~ Rio ~ ~
Forever in my heart...

April 2000 – January 20, 2012
Diagnosed with Mast Cell Cancer in June 2007. Left rear leg amputated Feb. 8, 2011.
Mets discovered Aug. 31, 2011. Read more of Rio's story here.

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krun15
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16 April 2012 - 5:23 pm
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Zeffy,

I would love for you to come visit us.... except our mom pinches our butts every now and then too!!  So you better not come here.  As soon as we scoot just a bit out come the rubber gloves and mom is giving one of us a pinch! I guess it beats going to the V E T like you had to.  Besides- if someone is pinching my butt it might as well be someone I know! I think it is harder on my mom than me or Tani- she says the stuff that comes out is the stinkiest stuff on earth. Ha ha ha- serves her right for pinching my butt!!

There are always lots of treats afterward, so maybe you do want to come and visit? 

 

Yours in butt pinching sympathy,

Oberon

 

p.s. Don't tell Evelyn I invited you over, I don't want her to get jealous winker.

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Leicester, NY
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11 February 2011
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16 April 2012 - 5:24 pm
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Oh Zephy!! Oucch! Let your momma put compresses on that monkeybutt of yours and take your pills.

I hope all you tripawds see how we Monkeybutts get ignored until we are really miserable! (guilt-guilt-guilt)

If a tripawd sneezes they get whisked off to the vet and then they get treats and special lovin and all kinds of stuff.

Feel better MBZ!

 

Samson

Spirit Samson was Spirit Tripawd Daisys four legged "brother" and ruled as the self proclaimed head of the Monkeybutt Federations East Coast Division. Lady Chunky Monkey stayed from Oct 2011 and left for the bridge in Apr 2012. Miss Perdy is left and has some big pawprints to fill.
Do you have what it takes to be a Monkeybutt? Find out more at the Monkeybutt Federation

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Rock Hill, SC
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28 November 2011
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16 April 2012 - 5:30 pm
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Zephyr,

I'm not a monkeybutt, but all us pups gotta stick together when it comes to the V-E-T, so I will let you in on my carefully honed skills:

First, when de hooman opens tha rear door, run to tha opposite end of de car.  Then, when they go to that door, run back to tha first door.  You can usually make them run from door to door at least four times before they finally grab your necklace (or your tail).

Then, when de hooman finally catches you, stiffen your legs (this doesn't matter if you have tree or four) and refuse to walk.  Make her carry you in...  (this one is REAL funny since I weigh 45 lbs and mom weighs 105 - she looks like she's doing the limbo with a dog sittin on her chest).

Next, when she finally gits you in the V-E-T, crawl into her lap and shiver uncontrollably and make her teef clink together.

Last, when you leeb da V-E-T, drag her stumbling across the lot to the car.

By the time it's over, she will be completely unraveled and look like she stood out in a hurricane.  Unfortunately, she will still take you back eventually, but at least she will suffer as much as you!

Zeus

Zeus was a Husky mix diagnosed with Osteosarcoma at age 11.  A visible lung met and suspicious spot on his liver meant a poor prognosis-six weeks was our vet's best guess. We decided to fight for our boy and his right front leg was amputated on 12/1/11. We did six rounds of chemo, changed his diet and spoiled him completely rotten. We were blessed with 10 great months after diagnosis. Against the odds, the lung met remained a single met and grew very little over those months. A wonderful furbaby with the most gentle spirit, he fought with a strength that we never imagined he possessed. We have no regrets...
http://zeuspod......pawds.com/

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San Diego, CA
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29 October 2010
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16 April 2012 - 5:58 pm
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Oh Zeffy - you poor baby! You can totally come stay with us. MBBunny Rita would love to have a friend and I would not pinch your butt. (I tried to pinch our beagle's butt once, but I obviously didn't do it right cuz nothin' happened, so I never tried again. The V-E-T had to do it once - but that was all... just once.)

Please pack your big sombrero because you, me and little Rosarita will have a fiesta! Margaritas for me! Lots of treats for you doggies! We will dance around your big sombrero! Viva la Monkeybutts!

Come soon!

Your Aunt Jackie

P.S. On second thought... maybe you could plan to come down post-rupture....

Abby: Aug 1, 2009 – Jan 10, 2012. Our beautiful rescue pup lived LARGE with osteosarcoma for 15 months – half her way-too-short life. I think our "halflistic" approach (mixing traditional meds + supplements) helped her thrive. (PM me for details. I'm happy to help.) She had lung mets for over a year. They took her from us in the end, but they cannot take her spirit! She will live forever in our hearts. She loved the beach and giving kisses and going to In-N-Out for a Flying Dutchman. Tripawds blog, and a more detailed blog here. Please also check out my novel, What the Dog Ate. Now also in paperback! Purchase it at Amazon via Tripawds and help support Tripawds!

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New Zealand
Member Since:
6 November 2011
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16 April 2012 - 6:12 pm
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Ewwwwww!!! it is the worse job to do , pinching butts is just as bad for us humans, I have to do it fairly regulary to Grandpa Sarge and it is hideous. Hope you butt feels better soon Zephyr and those pills and potions do the trick.

Sarah

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16 April 2012
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16 April 2012 - 6:16 pm
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Hi Zeffy. I would be yur friend. I would not pinch your butt. Only sniff it.

Today I got to go to the beach. I ate a gopher there!! I think I maybe had a better day than you. (Sorry, hope that doesn't sound like gloating....)

MBBunnyRita

I am a Monkeybutt Bunny. I used to live on the beach in Mexico. Now I have it good. Well, mostly good anyway. My mama tells me about my angel big sister, Abby, all the time. Apparently she was like a big deal or something....

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Washington
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1 February 2011
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16 April 2012 - 7:01 pm
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I've also been threatening her with the cone of shame , so now I really am a bad, bad momma... 

the Woo

~ ~ Rio ~ ~
Forever in my heart...

April 2000 – January 20, 2012
Diagnosed with Mast Cell Cancer in June 2007. Left rear leg amputated Feb. 8, 2011.
Mets discovered Aug. 31, 2011. Read more of Rio's story here.

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knoxville, tn
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12 February 2010
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16 April 2012 - 7:29 pm
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dear zephyr, we're so sorry to hear you are having anal issues...we have a kitty that struggles anally, and it can be awful...but, let this be a reminder to you that you need to stay on the straight and narrow and never end up in prison...just sayin'......  paws crossed for a smiling butthole soon!!

 

charon & spirit gayle

Life is good, so very, very good!!! Gayle enjoyed each and every moment of each and every wonderful day (naps included).  She left this world December 12, 2011 – off on a new adventure.

Love Never Ends

http://etgayle

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2 April 2012
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16 April 2012 - 7:43 pm
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I was not having a good day but monkeybutts, tripawds and parents have all made me have a good laugh. I read all to Cheeto and it just confirmed his suspicion that his mommy has really lost what little bit of mind she had left.

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Sebastopol, CA
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11 June 2011
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16 April 2012 - 7:48 pm
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Poor you Zephyr! Nothing worse than having an already ouchie butt and then having it be pinched - eek!

But so you wont feel too bad when you can hear it's a common thingy to have done to monkeydogs and Tripawds.

Lylee & MB Happy have it done regularly - out come the rubber gloves and the puppies give me that look and then disappear quick- and I don't even snap the gloves on 😉 But lots of treats afterwards, like Auntie Karen said.

I gotta do it every month or two otherwise when I go outta town they get ouchie butt and their Papa gets all worried and then it's trips to the V E T (except the one time I tried to talk him through the "procedure" over the phone, oh, now that was a phone call worth recording!! And, yes, they still ended up going to the V E T)

You're Mama loves you Zeffy - love just comes in different forms....

Gentle hugs & wags

Joanne & Lylee

http://lyleegir.....ipawds.com

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Washington
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1 February 2011
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16 April 2012 - 8:03 pm
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etgayle said
..but, let this be a reminder to you that you need to stay on the straight and narrow and never end up in prison...just sayin'......  paws crossed for a smiling butthole soon!!

Okay, Charon, this totally cracked me up -- After spending so much time today looking at a dog's butt, I needed the laugh!  So this is for you!  🙂

 

[Image Can Not Be Found]

the Woo

~ ~ Rio ~ ~
Forever in my heart...

April 2000 – January 20, 2012
Diagnosed with Mast Cell Cancer in June 2007. Left rear leg amputated Feb. 8, 2011.
Mets discovered Aug. 31, 2011. Read more of Rio's story here.

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Washington
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1 February 2011
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16 April 2012 - 8:17 pm
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I tried to put this in my last post, but it glitched and I ended up with the spinning wheel of death when I tried to edit my post...

 

Charon, this is for you!

the Woo

~ ~ Rio ~ ~
Forever in my heart...

April 2000 – January 20, 2012
Diagnosed with Mast Cell Cancer in June 2007. Left rear leg amputated Feb. 8, 2011.
Mets discovered Aug. 31, 2011. Read more of Rio's story here.

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knoxville, tn
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12 February 2010
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16 April 2012 - 8:23 pm
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oooh, hiney heaven...

charon & spirit gayle

Life is good, so very, very good!!! Gayle enjoyed each and every moment of each and every wonderful day (naps included).  She left this world December 12, 2011 – off on a new adventure.

Love Never Ends

http://etgayle

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