Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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For the past 20 years I have had a dog in my life. A few month after I met Steve, I had to say goodbye to my Austin. Austin was a part of my life for 14 years. Steve had Cadence and she made the pain of losing Austin a little more bearable. Now that Cadence has gone on her final journey, the house feels so lonely and empty. For me the pain is still so raw. Steve's heart is broken but he has been looking on line at American Bulldog puppies. He says he is just looking but I know Steve all to well. I know he is not looking to replace Cadence, because there is no way she can be replaced. I think he just wants to fill the void that she has left behind. For 8 years she was his life and best friend. Once you have a dog, its very hard to get used to not having one around anymore. Me on the other hand, am not quite sure how to feel about it. I love dogs, I would love to have another one, but am not sure about the timing. It almost feels like I would be cheating on Cadence. Her bed still sits in the bedroom with all her blankets and there is another one in our office. I still smell the blankets each night to feel close to her. If we did decided to get a puppy right away, I know I would fall in love with it. Im just not sure if it would feel right for me at this time.
So I guess my question is to everyone: How long did you wait before you opened your heart to a new love?
michele
“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace.” ― Milan Kundera
Hi Michele,
I can't speak for myself, but I will tell you my parents recent experience. We had dogs forever, always were a multiple dog home. Once my sister and I left the house, there was just one dog left, our baby Basha, she was like their third child. Basha was with us for 17 years, the last 6 years of her life was just her and my parents since my sister and I had moved out. Towards the end of her life, my parents said "this will be our last dog" all the time. They were retired by then and traveling a lot and also did not want to go through the pain of ever losing a dog again. When Basha passed at the age of 17, they still said that was it, no more dog. OK......about 2 months later, they couldn't take it. They needed a dog in the house! It took a while to find the right one, but it was about 2 months when they knew they couldn't live without a dog. Honestly, if it were up to my dad, he would've probably gotten one a week later.
I will tell you, it was hard for my mom at first when they got their new puppy. She said she didn't feel she'd ever bond with her. She said she sure loved her, but just didnt feel that bond. Now, a year later, my mom calls from florida (I'm currently babysitting the doggy) to facetime with her everynight and she is the light of my parents eyes.
I think this is a personal decision for everyone. I know some people who take years to get new dogs and I know someone who recently just lost a dog and got a new one a week later. You do what feels right and what your heart tells you. Cadence would want you to be happy and when you find that puppy that fits in with you and your family, I know she or he will have been sent just for you, by Cadence.
xoxo,
Erica
Jill is a 9-year-old tuxedo kitty. She was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma in June 2012 on her toe in her right hind leg. Her leg was amputated on 12/12/12 and she completed four rounds of chemo (2 of Carbo, 2 of Doxy) in April 2013. "Like" Jill's facebook page: https://www.fac.....tty?ref=hl Proud member of the WINTER WARRIORS!!!! Her blog can be read at http://jillsjou.....ipawds.com. xoxo
I can tell you that I waited way too long to get another dog after my last dog had to be put down. He was an amazing dog and it was so painful to lose him. I didn't think I would ever want another dog because I wouldn't be able to stand the pain of loss again. Then I realized how much I missed having a dog around when a friend's dog came to stay with me for a summer while the family was out of town. I realized that I was cheating myself out of having the love and companionship of a dog, and cheating a dog out of having a forever home. Now I have Willow, and I love her so much and can't believe that I waited so long. Getting another dog would be honoring Cadence and her memory, not cheating on her. You wouldn't be replacing her. She will know that and be happy that you have a dog to love and that the dog has you!
Yep, this decision really depends on each person and each pack and how each individual copes with loss. Nobody is the same when it comes to grief, we all process it differently. Collectively it's always best if you can both reach the decision together and know that you are both ready for a new packmate. If one person isn't ready, it can be a bad situation.
When my people were without a dog after I earned my wings, they brought Wyatt Ray into their pack eight months later. For my Dad, it was a little soon but not for my Mom. They knew how lost they felt without a dog though, they really missed the routines and the activity of having a dog around the house. Hah! When they got Wyatt Ray
, they sure got what they asked for! 
Fostering is sometimes an awesome idea just to see how you both cope with having a dog around the house right now. No matter when you decide to adopt, it's clear that your love for Cadence will never disappear, nor would you ever try to replace her. Your happiness is all she ever wants, so do what feels right for both of you and you can't go wrong.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
This is such a personal decision and I say go with what feels right for you and Steve (although it can be hard if you are in different places with what feels right!). As Erica says, you'll know when the right puppy comes along. You'll feel it in your heart.
We got our rescue dog, Ruby, just over 3 months after we lost Magnum. In fact I signed the adoption papers exactly 3 months later. I wasn't ready for another dog, I was still grieving badly for Magnum and I was like you, I felt it would be disloyal to Magnum and it felt way too soon. My husband didn't want another dog right away, he wanted us to save some money and he didn't believe he could bond with another dog after Magnum.
But I couldn't shake the picture of this sad old dog that I had seen in the pages of the rescue magazine before Magnum died. There was something about her that called out to me and I just couldn't let her stay in the shelter any longer. I also felt that by giving a home to an older dog who may never find a home it made some sense out of losing Magnum too soon. That was the space my heart was in. Even though I wasn't ready yet the call to adopt this particular dog, Ruby, was really strong and my husband accepted that. We have never regretted it. I still miss Magnum. I still cry for her. We still talk about her every single day. Magnum was my heart dog, my protector, my best friend, the child I never had. Ruby is a gorgeous new addition to our family with her own unique and beautiful personality and our love for her is absolute. Magnum was always very possessive of me but I just know she approves of Ruby.
Go with your heart.
Hugs
Karen and Spirit Magnum
Magnum: 30th May 2002 to 5th May 2012. Lost her back left leg to osteosarcoma on 5th Sep 2011. Lung mets found on 20th Mar 2012 but it was bone mets in the hip that ended her brave battle. Magnum's motto - "Dream as if you'll live for ever, live as if you'll die today" (James Dean). Loyal, loving, courageous and spirited to the end. My beloved heart dog, see her memoirs from Rainbow Bridge ...... http://princess.....pawds.com/
Michelle, I couldn't agree with willowsmom more. I truly think one of the finest ways you can honor the memory of a great dog is to give another great dog a loving forever home, but the timing is different for different people. Some folks really do need to do a lot of grief work before making the commitment again, others can't get past the pain without a new love. Then there are people like me that despise being without a dog so much, I have had a multi-dog family for 30 years because I have found that the grief of losing one is best comforted by putting my arms around another dog. My personal experience is that the next dog never replaces the previous one, it just helps put those memories into a warmer, sweeter place in your heart. I volunteer in rescue so I've had a chance to love a lot of dogs and I have had 14 that were part of my family through my life. In spite of that, I have never quit loving my very first dog and each one since is still sitting in his or her own little reserved spot in my heart. I have just been through a gut wrenching experience of losing two dogs in one week and it will be a little while before I get another one (I still have 3 
and if I didn't I'd be at the animal shelter right now). But even as bad as I feel now, I know I will make that commitment again and I know that my beautiful Shan and sweet little Lara would want and expect me to. You are wise to give it consideration - we are each as unique as our dogs and the timing matters, but I'm betting there will be a time that it feels right for you again. You are such a good dog "mom" and I'd bet if you don't find a dog, a dog will find you! Dogs have a way of tracking down good dog people.
this is always a hard decision and as Jerry said its different for every pack. Before we got Kayla we had a nutcase of a dog called Chloe and she really was a nut case and a fun loving idiot. we also had our old boy Sarge. when Chloe died we thought we wouldnt want another dog for a long time it just hurt too much (this was also the 2nd one we lost in a couple years and both of them were young) but our kids wore us down they missed Chloe so much but understood that she was gone she wasnt coming back but 'its really boring now without her too play with so can we PLEASE get another one
" Sarge also wasnt coping well so just 3 weeks later i found myself bring home little Kayla, i was still so unsure that it was the right decision but that cute little pup helped heal my heart faster than any thing else would have, it didnt replace Chloe nothing could do that as she will always be in our hearts. But Kayla pretty quickly wriggled her way in there too 
When it feels right! I know of folks that get a new dog the very day they say goodbye to their "old" dog. I know of friends that always have more than 1 so there's never an emptiness. My parents waited about 9 months between the death of our 14 year old family pet and rescuing a "new" senior dog. I know my mother set the timeline. She didn't want to get one too soon, in a way to honor Maple's legacy. But as she healed from Maple's departure, she became aware of the vacancy that dogs fill and started the rescue search. Welcome, Gypsy!
Take your time. When it's right, it's right. I don't think there's a right or wrong way!
For me, I know I'll need to morn Jackson for a while before I can think about having another. That said, I fully expect to feel a VERY empty house without a dog. I'll probably long for a dog because of the space s/he fills rather than the new bond right away. You know?
ACL tear in right hind leg 12/5/12 and scheduled ACL repair surgery 12/21/12. Pre-op xrays revealed osteosarcoma. Amputation 12/28/12. Chemo (carboplatin) started Jan 10, 2013 and ended on April 5, for a total of 5 doses. He handled carbo like a champ! No side effects. We started metronomic therapy at his third chemo and have been also doing some holistic treatments. He's a lively, playful 10 year old huskie-boarder collie and a very proud member of the Winter Warriors! Our love. Our funny little guy!
We brought Duke in before we lost Trouble. We knew the day would come, after all, she was 11 years old at that point. Duke was not without his challenges, and my world was so consumed by Trouble, that Duke took a back seat. Once Trouble was gone, it still took me months to begin to bond with Duke. Now, 3 years after he first came to live with us, I can truly say he has a place in my heart. It was a long, hard road for me, and still he doesn't replace Trouble.
Emmi came to us 6 months after losing Trouble. I was not ready, but Bob needed her. He saw her picture and it spoke to his heart. We have had her 18 months and it took me probably the first year to accept her and adjust to her being with us.
I will always have a dog, but the hole in my heart left by Trouble will never be filled.
Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul. Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.
Michele,
I lost one of our Rotties Doc and the next day we got our puppy Bosch, I wasn't ready but my mom knew I needed someone to take care of. I had spent the last 2 years taking care of Doc before he passed (assuming nasal cancer as he had a tumor & lost part of his nose) I still grieved every day for him and still kinda do. Bosch never replaced Doc as they all have a special place in your heart. As others have said its a personal decision and sometimes its easier to have someone to take care of and honor that other dog. Cadence won't feel like its cheating. She knows that you need someone to love too.
Just when the time is right you will know. I still have a picture of both my other Rotties Doc & Shadow on my nightstand. I say goodnight to them every night just like I say goodnight to Sassy & Bosch. So they are still very much apart of my heart & life.
Sassy is a proud member of the Winter Warriors. Live long, & strong Winter Warriors.
sassysugarbear.tripawds.com
07/26/2006 - Sassy earned her wings 08/20/2013
05/04/2006 - Bosch, Sassy's pal, earned his wings 03/29/19 fought cancer for 4 months.
"You aren't doing it TO her, you are doing it FOR her. Give her a chance at life."
Michele,
You are a great doggy mom. Several years ago I lost a 6 month old dog to a telescoping bowel that the vet that spayed her couldn't figure out. I didn't want another dog for a long time but my husband found this border collie cross puppy and brought her home without asking me. I tried to ignore her but that was impossible. He really needed another dog around and I understood that. But I'm alot like Lara and Shan's mom, I always try and have at least 2 dogs here. I work so they keep each other company. I lost an old retriever and a lab within 2 weeks of each other. I had my young weim by then but after the 2 dogs died I immediately got online with weim rescue and got another weim. My husband was totally against it, thinking all rescues are crazy. And Blink is a little crazy but my husband really loves her. So all my rambling is that you will never replace Cadence but if it helps Steve with his pain and you know you will fall in love, I say go for it!!
As everyone has said, this is a personal decision and there is no right or wrong.
For me, I sort of need a dog. I need someone to take care of and so much of my life center's on dog activities. After Coal and after Schmoozer it was less than two weeks before i was bringing a new dog home. I wasn't trying to replace the boy I'd lost. Both times I got flack from people who said it was too soon and I should wait. I don't have any regrets about what I did.
My heart aches for you. I know how hard this is.
Topher
Vet Assistant (in school to be a licensed vet technician)
1.5 years Oncology department, moved to rehab & sportsmed December 2024
Tripawd Angel, Cora the Determined <3
I brought Obie home 5 weeks after saying good bye to Maggie. But I still had Tani at home who had never been an only pug and she needed a companion. I'm single so I didn't have to worry about a partner's opinion, but I do know my mom thought I was crazy for adopting so soon. But then my mom was really, really attached to Maggie, and she is, well, a mom!
Maggie will always own a piece of my heart, she was the special one for me. I love Tani and Obie for who they are, but it is different. And that is OK. You don't have the same relationships with all the people in your life, but you still love them (at least most of them ). Bringing Obie into the pack did not at all diminish the feelings I have and will always have for Maggie.
Maggie's journey brought out the best in me as a dog mom, I learned to deal with things I never thought I could. In my mind it honors her memory when I bring the next dog into the pack.
When the time is right the right pup will come into your lives.
Karen
I think I must be like your Steve. When I lost my Sadie, the only thing that made my heart not hurt as much was looking at puppies on pet finder. I didn't want to replace Sadie at all! I knew I would get another dog, but I didn't want to rush anything or not deal properly with her loss. But, I ended up adopting Aissa 1 month after Sadie passed. Some of the reason was that I didn't want Brendol to be alone, my other dog. But it also helped my heart. Sadie was my sweet baby girl. She died at 9 months old! Aissa didn't replace Sadie, she just added more love into the house. So please don't feel guilty. Cadence wouldn't want that for you. She would want you to know more love. When you are ready, allow yourself to open your heart to another dog.
Adelaide is a young tripawd Husky, from an injury. Her amp was on 10/1/12. She has 4 sisters, Aissa (a senior border collie/chow), Maggie May (a puppy Great Pyrenees), Mathilde and Morrigan and 1 baby brother, Bagheera. We are all watched over by our angel Brendol, who was dx with OSA 1/30/13, amp on 2/6/13, and left us on 8/20/13.
You can read their stories at http://adelaide.tripawds.com and http://brendol.tripawds.com
Speaking from a large pack, there is no way to "replace" any individual dog. That is why we love them - they are unique beings with their own list of talents, quirks, oddities, and characteristics. But I also strongly believe that no matter the heartbreak when you lose one of your best friends, the gifts that they gave you during their life (no matter how short) outweigh the sadness.
Plus there are SO many WONDERFUL dogs that need a good, loving home, and I can provide that.
I will always have dogs (yes, plural) in my life to share my adventures with. They are not replaceable but they make my life fuller, more colorful, richer, and happier. And every one that passes on is a treasured friend I will remember dearly all the days of my life.
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