A year ago, I was sitting at the U of M with the oncologist, hearing the devastating news that Charlie had bone cancer. I did the whole “Are you sure? What other things could it be?” All the while crying inconsolably. I tried to be strong, but nothing could stop the flood of tears. I was given four options:

1. Amputation (with or without chemo)

2. Limb sparing (cadaver bone. Could be done there, where they have done a few, or they would set me up atColorado, where they have done many)

3. Radiation (the really ‘good’ radiation was eitherColoradoor I thinkFlorida)

4. pain management

I was at a loss. The oncologist could see that and kept bring up that they had social workers that could speak to me (he thought I was on the verge of emotional collapse and there was nothing I could do or say to make him think otherwise). They gave me a stack of materials to review. I knew our best shot was amputation or limb sparing. I didn’t think amputation was going to be an option for my large, old man, so I was leaning towards limb sparing, if I could find the funds (3 times the cost of amputation).

I went home with my brave boy, hopped on the computer for research, went to the websites they recommended (tripawds.com being one) and bawled like a baby. I first went to all the size/age matters posts as those were my greatest concern. That was Monday. I made the appointment with the surgeon for Thursday. He stated Charlie was a good candidate for either amputation or limb sparing, but we got a consult with orthopedic surgeon, just to alleviate my concerns (Charlie had arthritis, Lyme disease as a puppy, blew out his knee as a youngster, etc.). Amputation was scheduled for the next day (Friday).

The insanity of that week, emotionally raw and bankrupt, the immediacy of the need, entering a realm where I had no experience or knowledge: I was terrified and broken.

I made it through with the support/wisdom/collective strength of the folks and tripawds on this site. I couldn’t have done it without everyone here. I read on here to have a conversation with your dog, which I did. I could see it wasn’t his time yet and boy, did those next 4 months prove it!

I was so surprised and grateful at how well he did. Saturday would have been his one year ampuversary, and although he didn’t make it (and G*d know I wanted him to be the wonder dog that lived until he was 100!) I wouldn’t have changed the decisions I made.

Thank you to all that helped us along that journey. I was reflecting on where I was sitting a year ago and felt the need to express my gratitude to this site and all the participants.

For those of you just starting on your journey, please know that most on this site have experienced what you are going through and know that there is HOPE!

Love and blessings to you all,

VQ and Spirit Charlie