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Just came across this great blog post by pet loss counselor Janet Roper:
The Anniversary Reaction, Grieving Your Pet
Sometimes we make the mistake of equating the depth of our love with the depth of our pain in grief. Folks can convince themselves that if they let go of the grief, they are forgetting and dishonoring the memory of their animal pal and the relationship they had. Our animals are not asking that – they are asking us to move forward, as they have.
Ways to help you cope with an anniversary reaction:
- Be prepared
- Spend time alone
- Reminisce about your pal
- Start a new tradition
- Connect with others
- Feel your emotions
- Arrange your schedule to best suit your needs
- Plan a memorial service
- Plan a candle light vigil
- Create a ritual and let the ritual evolve from year to year
- Be creative, write a letter, compose a song, draw a picture, turn photos into a photo album or video
- Volunteer at a rescue or shelter
- Make a donation to a rescue or shelter
- Journal
- Plant a tree or special flower
- Share stories
We often think we have to should the burden of grief by ourselves, however, it’s very important to remember, we don’t have to grieve alone.
Read the entire article: http://talk2the.....-your-pet/
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
WOW... thank you for posting this. How incredibly timely. I have been trying to emotionally prepare myself for the one year anniversary of when Shelby broke her leg and the 10 months that followed. Ironically (and I am not a numbers person) Shelby broke her leg doing what she did a millions times (jumping into my car) on June 8th. Shelby left this earth on April 8th. Exactly 10 months later.
The only reason I know the 8th is the day is that I have an app on my iPhone that tells me what was going on year after year and so to be proactive and prepared, I looked back through my Facebook feed from last June (I knew it was sometime in June) and wow... the irony of it.
But while I am still grieving pretty hard (and then having the one year of that come up and all the 'what ifs' that go with that), I am doing some of the suggestions listed ... I will begin volunteering on the 14th. I will be with friends next weekend. And I will always keep Shelby's true spirit in my heart and remember she knows I love her and did all that I could with the information that I had at the time. Oh and I won't be looking at the Timehop app! 
No sense in putting salt into the wounds!
XO
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
Another beautiful link...thanks Jerry!
Yeah, "ambushed by experiences".....the tears and sobs start flowing. And the triggers were so subtle, so invisible to your consciousness, you weren't even aware of the specific "memory".
And yes, we must all remember our dogs and cats do want us to move forward...and we must...for them.
For me......and this is just my personal situation...and I certainly understand this may not be the case for others......I don't equate holding onto grief as a way of not forgetting them or dishonoringmp them if I let go (at least I'm not aware of that anyway). For me, I equate it as a real barrier, a huge cement wall, blocking me from letting all those wonderfully joyous memories of my HAPPY HANNAH pushing the heartache away and filling my heart with her love, the gratitude for our time together, her happiness snd zest for life!! To me, that's dishonoring her by not getting to that "attitude of gratitude" and immersing myself in all the blissfully hapoy times we had together...filling my heart with laughter when I think about how she made me laugh all day!!
Now the result is still the same, regardless of how we interpret what grief means to us, until time does it's thing, along withour inner work and support of a caring community like tripawds, we are not avle to move forward as our dogs and cats have. And that contiues to keep us separate rather than travelling by their side as one spirit, the one soul hat we always have been and always will be. Grief is normal, necessary and just awful to endure. But it does have a time frame as far as the severity of it....thank goodness!!!
GEEEZ Jerry....all I wanted to do was say thank you for that lovely, healing link! I'll stop now!
We ALL love and appreciate you so much!
Sally and Happy Hannah
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Thank you, Jerry.........these last 3 months, and even a bit before, the immense grief that I could not channel, is a bit more clear. I still have very few moments when I am not thinking about Polly and what her loss has done to my heart. And as for anniversaries, I try to block them out without much success. This article is very helpful and informative. I will have maybe the worst anniversary of all coming up in another month, her 10th birthday without her here......I will take this healing info and do my best at taking it into my heart and soul.
Much thanks and much love,
Bonnie & Angel Polly
P.S. Sally, you once again said things so perfectly.......and Happy Hannah's banner popped up when I posted this P.S. To you....!
Yes Jerry, thank you! I don't have any anniversaries approaching for a while since everything happened so quickly. But, when the time comes, I will try to be prepared. I think that some of the suggestions may be helpful for those of us whose grief is still so very fresh. Love from, Lori and Ty
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
Very well said Sally. I couldn't agree more. I cried for almost 24 hours straight when it was Jake's 1 year ampuversary and he wasn't here to celebrate a few weeks ago. It was awful and my Jake would not have wanted that! We have gathered a huge box of donations for the shelter Jake adopted me at. Shelters are always in need of things like old towels, newspapers, plastic grocery bags etc. We also printed their wish list of items, and hit the store picking up additional things like dish soap, dog toys, office supplies etc. I am going to print a picture of him with his story so the shelter knows that the gigantic "box o'stuff" is in his honor. I'm sure none of the "shelter angels" who guided him to me are there anymore, but the staff will surely fall in love with those gorgeous blue eyes!! Just a thought for everyone if your looking for ideas
Mom to Tripawd Angels Jake (2001-2014) and Rosco (2012-2015) and Tripawd Tanner. “Whatever happens tomorrow, we had today; and I'll always remember it”
elizabeth said
Very well said Sally. I couldn't agree more. I cried for almost 24 hours straight when it was Jake's 1 year ampuversary and he wasn't here to celebrate a few weeks ago. It was awful and my Jake would not have wanted that! We have gathered a huge box of donations for the shelter Jake adopted me at. Shelters are always in need of things like old towels, newspapers, plastic grocery bags etc. We also printed their wish list of items, and hit the store picking up additional things like dish soap, dog toys, office supplies etc. I am going to print a picture of him with his story so the shelter knows that the gigantic "box o'stuff" is in his honor. I'm sure none of the "shelter angels" who guided him to me are there anymore, but the staff will surely fall in love with those gorgeous blue eyes!! Just a thought for everyone if your looking for ideas
Brilliant idea Elizabeth!!!! you are such a ray of sunshine, always! That's a great idea. While Shelby's rescue is/was in New Orleans and was probably destroyed by hurricane Katrina, a friend of mine here said she would take Shelby's gently used (not that important) toys to a shelter for me but it might be a good and cathartic thing for me to do. I know I need to tackle that box of toys before I think about bringing someone new into my home and pick out the ones that were 'her favorites' but I still can't bring myself to do it. maybe by next week! And yes, those beautiful eyes ... definitely a heartbreaker!
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
I'm so glad everyone's finding this useful. I did too. They're such "Simple" suggestions with powerful impact.
That is a really cute idea Elizabeth. We have many toys here that would be more well-loved in a shelter, I think we might just do that.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
I have a huge smile at the thought of you guys giving some things to a shelter. How happy would our pups be knowing that! I felt like I needed to give back b/c I walked into the shelter that morning 12 years ago to pick up another dog, and what they gave me (my Jake) I could never ever repay them for. I wish I was a millionaire, I'd open up a sanctuary. I'd have every special needs dog under the sun in my living room and a staff of people handing out belly rubs!! 
Mom to Tripawd Angels Jake (2001-2014) and Rosco (2012-2015) and Tripawd Tanner. “Whatever happens tomorrow, we had today; and I'll always remember it”
Thank you, everyone, for your kind words about "The Anniversary Reaction" post. It's so important to remember that pet grief is a natural reaction and there ARE ways to care for yourself as you are experiencing it. AND to remember you don't have to be alone in your journey. Sending all of you, your animals and your angel animals Harmony.
janetroper said
Sending all of you, your animals and your angel animals Harmony.
Thank you Janet! Your future forum posts will not require moderation.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
Shelby is two months an angel today (eight weeks today but her actual passing was the 8th). AND TWICE today I have seen her banner which I hadn't seen in about a week... divine intervention for sure!
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
Oh Alison, guess whose banner I saw when I opened this post. Shelby!! She is definitely with you, especially today.
I know it's still so very hard. Hugs to you and all.
Amy & Spirit Libby
Liberty (Libby) was diagnosed with OSA on 1-22-13. Right front amputation on 1-31-13. No IV Chemo. Metronomic Therapy started 2-19-13 along with supplements and some home cooking. Lungs clear until 1-06-14. She's still her happy, hoppy, bossy self. Living the dog life to the fullest and a proud Winter Warrior. :) RIP my Libby 4-21-03 to 3-19-14
Alison, you were on my mind today. I had to take a urine sample for my Corgi, Lucy to the vets today. Thankfully, I was just told to drop off a sample versus bringing her in for a visit. My biggest fear is being put in the same room where my boy left me. She does have a UTI. Of course my mind is already going crazy. What if? Anyhow, when I pulled into the parking lot, I couldn't breathe. All I could remember was getting Ty out of the car for the last time. Also, all the in between visits that I made with him along. He always entered the door,tail wagging.I maintained my composure fairly well inside, but when I returned to my car, I was literally shaking. I kept thinking of your first run on the beach and your emotional reaction. This is week 7 and it has been a rougher few days recently. I will do pretty well and then boom. My Granddaughter found a penny today. After Chandler and I, she was his best friend. Thought that was pretty neat. I am not sure what your view is on tattoos. I was going to get an infinity symbol on my ankle a few years ago. That might be a cool idea. Or they make rings. Just a thought. Love from , Lori and Ty
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
4myty said
Alison, you were on my mind today. I had to take a urine sample for my Corgi, Lucy to the vets today. Thankfully, I was just told to drop off a sample versus bringing her in for a visit. My biggest fear is being put in the same room where my boy left me. She does have a UTI. Of course my mind is already going crazy. What if? Anyhow, when I pulled into the parking lot, I couldn't breathe. All I could remember was getting Ty out of the car for the last time. Also, all the in between visits that I made with him along. He always entered the door,tail wagging.I maintained my composure fairly well inside, but when I returned to my car, I was literally shaking. I kept thinking of your first run on the beach and your emotional reaction. This is week 7 and it has been a rougher few days recently. I will do pretty well and then boom. My Granddaughter found a penny today. After Chandler and I, she was his best friend. Thought that was pretty neat. I am not sure what your view is on tattoos. I was going to get an infinity symbol on my ankle a few years ago. That might be a cool idea. Or they make rings. Just a thought. Love from , Lori and Ty
Oh Lori!!! I know ... those little things can hit you like a ton of bricks! I hope that Lucy is doing better ... I think UTIs are treatable, right? Uncomfortable but treatable. It is those memories that shake you at your inner core. I am getting better about running by the beach ... I tend to run the opposite direction of where Shelby was laid to rest but it's never easy. And aside from a little walk, I haven't spent any time at the beach yet this summer. Going there to layout will be hard for sure.
I don't have any tattoos ... I am not opposed to them but petrified of needles. But funny that you mention that because my first thought after Shelby passed is that I would get a paw print w/her initials on the one-year anniversary of her passing (if I still wanted it then). But I like the idea of an infinity symbol if they could put her initials in there too.
And thank you Amy ... it's very raw but I do feel I am making small improvements... and that my friends here can see that change in me is reassuring. I'll get there. We all will. I know it's still very raw and soon for you as well.
With love!
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
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