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The end of life discussion is difficult, but necessary for pawrents to ensure a peaceful transition for their beloved animal companion. In a recent Tripawd Talk Radio show, we gleaned valuable advice about this topic. And an in an ongoing discussion about how pack mates say goodbye, Tripawd Calpurnia‘s Mom, TC Wait, offered more enlightenment.

If anyone knows about coping with this process, TC does. As a sled dog family, TC and her husband have always had a large pack comprised of rescue dogs of all ages.

Sadly, they’ve gone through end-of-life care many times. It never gets easier, but TC has learned a lot through the years and wants to share it with this community.

Transitions
by TC Wait

“One of the hardest things to face when you have a large pack of dogs you live your life with is when one becomes sick, old, or otherwise ailing. These dogs give us their all, consistently, all the time. They give our lives direction and meaning. Our dogs are family members. Each one is individual and cherished.

Calpurnia, our 16-year old, three-legged dog, is not doing well. She has had a long life, lead more teams than I can count, logged thousands of miles in harness, has survived starvation, a broken femur, laryngeal paralysis, and cancer.

But she has reached a point in her life where we are not able to fix what is wrong.

You can’t fix old age. Dying is part of living, and she has indeed lived a long and glorious life. We have been blessed to be a part of it.

After our return from Alaska, she started winding down. Almost as if she had crossed the last thing off her “bucket list” that she wanted to accomplish. We took her to the vet to make sure there wasn’t anything treatable going on. But we guessed from her gaze that she was seeing trails and teams that we could not see.

Dogs know things that people don’t, or won’t see. The pack behaves differently when a member is in transition, getting ready to cross over. This week the younger dogs started bringing Cali “gifts” of pine cones and sticks, and laying close to her. Even Ivy the cat has been curling up with Cali on her bed. Sitting vigil. Saying their good-byes.

Things to Consider When Facing End-of-Life Decisions

Transitions can take a long time, but really there is no way to tell. There are cycles of good days and bad days. End-of-life care for a friend requires patience and comfort.

I have been down this road many times, and with as many furry family members as we have, have only scratched the surface of how many more times we will be here. I don’t have any answers, but I do have some thoughts to share on the end-of-life that we ALL will face at some point.

There is no “right” or “wrong” here. Each dog, each situation, each day varies. All you can do is what is best for your particular friend on that particular day. Maybe it is allowing nature to do its thing, maybe it is aggressively treating an issue, maybe it is euthanasia.

I have gone all these routes (and some others too) based on each unique situation. No one can tell you what is best for your situation. YOU know your animal better than anyone else, and you need to keep their needs in mind.

Everyone dies. No one gets out of this contract. Dying isn’t something to fret or worry about because it is pointless. We do what we can with the time we have – as long or as short as that may be. Each day is a gift, each moment precious. Make them count.

I don’t remember being born, but I can’t imagine that it was a painless process (certainly not for my mom). In that same light, I think that there is some natural discomfort in dying also. Our bodies are programed to keep fighting, sometimes beyond what they are capable of.

That being said, as a pet owner I think you need to closely evaluate what level of discomfort your friend is facing and do what you can to help. I wouldn’t be afraid of pain, rather see it for what it is and try to figure out what it is telling you. Go with your heart.

Lots of people like to tell you what to do. They don’t know. They can’t possibly know. YOU do. YOU have to make the decisions, do the hard work, get up a million times during the night, etc. Every time someone makes a snide comment about your decisions, keep that in mind. And try not to punch them in the neck, that just leads to legal issues.

Transition from life to death can sometimes take a long time. It definitely takes a stress toll on you, and pack mates that may live with you. As much as you can, try to keep life as normal as possible. Get out and walk, watch a sunset, make a nice meal, laugh. Do the things that keep your spirit filled. Your energy keeps the pack happy, stable, and feeling secure.

Calpurnia Chooses Her Own Path

Calpurnia is very peaceful. She does not appear to be stressed or in pain. We have had a series of cool, snowy days which seems to have perked her up a bit. She watches life around her, but makes little effort to be involved. More as if she is reminding herself of this life so she has memories to take with her. She takes comfort in her team members being around her.

We will not rush her – we will allow Calpurnia to choose her own path and her own time as she has her whole life. We will take each day as they come and enjoy the precious moments we have left with our sweet girl.

When the time comes, she will follow that trail to her teammates waiting on the other side who will be so happy to see her. Her spirit will live on in the lessons she has taught us, the memories we have shared together, and the continuation of the journey we started together.”

Written by TC Wait. Read this in its entirety at The Adventures of the Odaroloc Sled Dogs.

Calpurnia has a special place in our hearts. She has been a member of Tripawds since 2007. When she and Spirit Jerry met in 2008, it was love at first sight. We’ll never forget it.

Our hearts are breaking knowing that she will no longer be leading us down trails here on earth, but we take comfort in knowing that Spirit Jerry will be there to welcome her into eternity.

More Ways to Cope with End of Life Decisions and Grief:

Tripawds Grief Support Resources

Help for Coping with Anticipatory Grief

Pet Loss Books to Ease a Child’s Broken Heart

‘For Every Dog an Angel’ Celebrates our Bonds

How to R.O.A.R. and Recover from Pet Loss

Home at Last is a mobile veterinary practice focusing on end of life care for companion animals. Although this is a difficult topic to think about, at some point, all of us will confront it. On Sunday, we’ll hear from Dr. Kirt to find out how we can ensure that our beloved animals’ last days are as comfortable and peaceful as pawsible.

Tripawd Talk Radio is a 30-minute Internet show that brings you the latest information about canine amputation, recovery tips and canine cancer care treatments.

Date: This Sunday 5/8/2011

Time: 5:30 PM (Eastern), 2:30 PM (Pacific)

Tune in here: Tripawd Talk Radio

Call in with Questions: (310) 388-9739

Remember, you can ask any questions here in the Forums before the show, or listen live online and ask your questions in the Tripawds Chat Room.

Call in live during the show with your questions or join us in the Chat.

(310) 388-9739

Can’t make the show? Then check our Discussion Forum topic for the on-demand audio podcast.

DISCLAIMER: Information provided at Tripawd Talk Radio and Tripawds.com is not a substitute for medical care by your personally selected, qualified veterinary professional. Always seek the advice of a licensed veterinarian prior to making any medical decisions or undergoing treatments or therapies, or if you have questions about your dog’s health. We advise against any medical decisions made without the direct involvement of your veterinary team. Tripawds.com is a project of Agreda Communications, which is not responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any form of damages whatsoever resulting from the use (or misuse) of information contained in or implied by the information available at Tripawd Talk Radio or Tripawds.com.

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End of life care. We don’t like to think about it, but this is a part of life that we all must face at some point. And no matter how many times we go through the process, it never gets any easier to say goodbye.

When I was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer, my parents had never been through the death of a fur kid before.

From the earliest days of my diagnosis, they wondered how they would know when my time had arrived. Would it be dramatic? Would I slowly deteriorate? Would we have time to say goodbye?

They found tips to help measure my quality of life, talked to my vet, and when it became clear that no amount of medical intervention was going to make me feel better, we all knew it was time to say goodbye.

But sometimes end of life decisions aren’t so clear. When things look murky, finding someone who can help guide you through the process is something to consider. That’s when animal hospice care is a good idea.

Hospice Care for Dogs?

In an article called “Hospice Care for Dogs” (Dog’s Life Magazine, November 2010) author Kyra Kirkwood says hospice care is:

“A type of care system or facility that focuses on providing comfort and support to patients nearing the end of their lives. It doesn’t prolong life or cure any disease; it is palliative care.

Hospice care focuses on keeping pain to a minimum and letting the last months, weeks or days be as peaceful and dignified as possible. It’s about quality of life, not quantity. It’s about living the rest of the days as pain-free and humanely as possible. A team of qualified professionals, from doctors to counselors, work with the patient and family to provide this.

Hospice care also focuses on the loved ones left behind. Bereavement and counseling services are often part of hospice programs, which can take place in the patient’s home or in a medical-type facility.

Now, this same operating model is being used with dogs. Hospice care, which almost always takes place at the dog’s home, allows pet guardians to enjoy the time left with a pet, wrap their minds around the diagnosis and eventual outcome, and say goodbye. It’s about making the most of what is left, and then letting go.”

In her article, Kirkwood says that “Hospice care is relatively simple. It involves the use of pain medications to keep the dog comfortable, fluids for hydration, and possibly other services such as:

1. Nutritional assessment and recommendations (perhaps a feeding tube or other feeding assistance, too).
2. Steroids to decrease inflammation and increase appetite.
3. Acupuncture, massage therapy and acupressure.
4. Subcutaneous fluids and anti-nausea medication. These are done at home, most often by the guardian.”

We strongly encourage pet pawrents to read Kirkwood’s fantastic article to learn more about how hospice can help make a heart wrenching time of life just a little bit easier for the family. Even if you don’t need it now, if you have pets, at some point you will want to refer to it, so be sure to bookmark it.

Have you been through hospice with an animal before? If so, how did it work for you? Would you recommend it to others?

We would love to hear your experiences.

Sadly, all of us experience it at some point, but we don’t have to go though it alone.

Tripawds will always be a place to turn to to share the good times and sad ones, to celebrate and to reminisce.

When you need more information to turn to for comfort and help, here are some ideas. Be sure to check the Grief Support tips on our Resources Page too.

We’ll update this regularly. If you have any good resources to share, please let us know in the comments section below.

Tripawds Discussion Forum: Coping with Loss

Question Yourself to Prepare for Loss
Tripawds Founder Jerry asks, “Which would be worse: the pain of missing your pet or to watch his condition deteriorate?”

Thoughts on Grief
Spirit Indi’s Mom shares her method for coping with loss; “The work is to find the balance and be at peace with the empty space. Don’t try to fill it up, hard as it might be. Because it is what it is. It is what it is, says love.”

Anticipatory Grief: Trying to Cope with the Impending Loss of Tshuvah
Tripawd Mom Beth wonders how she will cope with the loss of her beloved Tshuvah, who was just diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma.

On Deciding to Say Goodbye and How to Know When “It’s Time”
As Henri’s condition deteriorates, his Mom wonders, “Why after all of this, am I second guessing myself, feeling guilt, questioning whether it is the right time etc? I guess part of me believes he will get better, but I think I know what the truth is.”

How to Decide About at Home Euthanasia
A healthy discussion that anyone facing end of life decisions for their dog should hear.

Inspawrational Quotes
Quotes to inspire and bring peace to broken hearts.

Jerry’s Story: Coping with the Inevitable

Jerry lived with osteosarcoma for 24 months. Toward the end of his time on earth, he and his pawrents chronicled the emotional rollercoaster they rode.

Buying Time on an Emotional Budget
May 19, 2008: When it comes to cancer treatment, it’s not about what things cost. It’s about maximizing quality of life and preparing for the inevitable.

Acknowledge There is Nothing to Lose
August 24th 2008: Jerry ponders Steve Jobs’ quote, “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”

What to Expect Next. . .
September 17, 2008: Jerry talks about the progression of osteosarcoma lung metastasis in his body, and maintaining a pawsitive but realistic outlook.

Saying Goodbye: How We Knew (part 1)
November 1, 2008: Spirit Jerry says “I’ve always tried to be upfront about my cancer, so in the next two blog posts, my pawrents and I feel strong enough to share the details of our last hours together.”

Free Companion Animal Grief Support Counseling

The Argus Institute
The Argus Institute is staffed with professional clinical counselors who give free information and emotional support to pawrents facing hard decisions surrounding their animal’s health care.

Tufts University: Pet Loss Support Hotline
Tufts veterinary students work alongside trained psychologists to help provide one-on-one counseling with grieving pet pawrents. There is no formula or time limit. Staff members listen, realizing that no two callers or situations are alike.

ASPCA Pet Loss Support Hotline: (877) 474-3310

Ohio State C.A.L.L. (Companion Animal Listening Line): (614) 292-1823

Michigan State University College of Veterinary Medicine Pet Loss Support Hotline : (517) 432-2696. Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. (Eastern time)

Cornell University Pet Loss Support Hotline: (607) 253-3932
6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Tuesday -Thursday evenings (Eastern time)

University of Illinois College of Veterinary Medicine “C.A.R.E. Pet Loss Support Hotline”: (877) 394-2273

University of Florida Pet Loss Support hotline: (352) 392-2235
Leave a message and someone will call you back within 24 hours weekdays; weekend calls are returned on Monday.

Hospice Care Resources

The Animal Healing Project presents organizations, articles and resources for home hospice care for companion animals.

Home Care Tips for Your Terminal Pet, by Alice E. Villalobos, D.V.M., VCA Coast Animal Hospital and Cancer Center, California.

The Nikki Hospice Foundation for Pets shares pet loss support and resources.

Pet Loss Support Page teaches us how to define “quality of life” for an animal.

Grief Support Books

“The Legacy of Beezer and Boomer: Lessons on Living and Dying from My Canine Brothers” was the most powerful tool my pawrents found to help them cope with the emotional toll that cancer took on our pack.

“For Every Dog an Angel” Celebrates the Bond between humans and their beloved canine companions.

“How to ROAR and Recover from Pet Loss“ is a step-by-step guide to recover from the loss of your best friend.

Children and Pet Loss

Tips for Responding to Children’s Needs During Pet Loss from the Argus Institute.

Tips for helping children cope with pet loss from the ASPCA.

General Pet Loss Comfort

Christine Davis, author of “For Every Dog an Angel,” presents a guide to coping with grief and loss.

The ASPCA’s Guide to Pet Loss

Read Our Review of Heartsmith Pet Memorial Lockets.

See the Tripawds Remembrance Page for Pet Urns, Memorial Boxes and More.

Join the forum discussion on this topic.

All year long, we welcome new parents and Tripawds in a bittersweet embrace. We’re always so happy to have new members, but the reason why they join us is devastating. This is the club nopawdy wants to join.

Most have cancer, some chased one too many cars, a few suffered at the hands of horrible humans, and others came into the world as Tripawds. Despite the tragedy that has befallen them, our Tripawd warriors fight on, and live life to the fullest despite adversity and illness.

Every new member who arrives here serves to remind us about what’s really important in life: loving the people around you, and having a good time even when life feels like the pits.

Many of our friends earn their wings far too soon. Their losses reverberate throughout this community, but in the spirit of our Tripawd Warriors, we fight on. With their lessons staying strong in our hearts, we are here to help newcomers, share information, find Tripawds homes, and kick butt to put an end to canine bone cancer.

We salute everyone who has ever shared a story about their Tripawd, joined us in the Forums or in the Chat, and blogged about their beloved Tripawd. Thank you for making Tripawds such a helpful and supportive environment for so many. This community would be nothing without you.

Let us take a moment to honor our heroic Tripawds, their siblings and close friends, who earned their wings this year:

• Gambit
• Maximutt
• Raven
• Paris
• Caira Sue
• Supai
• Killer
• Eva
• Zoe
• Tehya
• Jif
• McGwire
• Don
• Havannah Jack
• OJ
• Dunc
• Henri
• Maggie
• Oscar
• Ruthie
• Magic
• Etta
• Buddy
• Harley
• Chaser
• Toto
• Oslo
• Beaner
• Skyler
• Daisy
• Ronnie
• Polo
• Noah
• Sophie
• Gus
• Shadow
• Titus
• Max
• Girl Noel
• Zeke
• Jersey May
• Sampson
• Captain Jack
• Debo
• Molly
• Riley
• JD
• Tshuvah
• Ginger
• Honey
• Shelli Belle
• Rosie
• Chance
• Sadie Bear
• Kobe
• Achilles
• Charlie
• Tai
• Ragley
• Smokey
• Myla
• Harley
• Kona Kai
• Zack
• Denali
• Pez
• Indi
• Ruby
• Mackenzie
• Xena

Pawrents, please accept our deepest condolences for your tremendous loss. We are so very sorry.

If your beloved pup’s name isn’t on here, we sincerely apologize, it was a mistake. All of these heroes were recognized in our Coping with Loss Discussion Forum. We may have accidentally missed the names of beloved pups whose parents only write in their Blog, not in the Forums. Please share their names with us in the comments section below.

Thank you for being here everyone, we look forward to another great year ahead with our Tripawds family.

Fight on, Tripawds, fight on!

Living in the moment is hard when there are so many opportunities to allow blame and guilt into our lives. So how do you keep cancer’s evil twins out?

Read “The Legacy of Beezer and Boomer: Lessons on Living and Dying from My Canine Brothers.” When I got sick, it was the most powerful tool my pawrents found to help them cope with the emotional toll that cancer took on our pack.

Others agree that is an awesome book. Doug Koktavy, the book’s author, was just honored with three different awards by Colorado Independent Publisher’s Association.

In March, The Legacy of Beezer and Boomer received the honor of first place in the “Self Help” category, as well as Merit awards in Spirituality and Memoirs.

This is the kind of book that will calm the fears you have about the decisions you are facing and teach you how to make the most of every day without letting regret and remorse get the best of you and your canine kid.

Whether you are in the midst of coping with the shock of diagnosis or mourning the loss of your beloved friend, this book will help with your emotional healing.

And, remember: For every copy of “The Legacy of Beezer and Boomer,”  purchased here, Doug will donate $10 to the Tripawds community.

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We said goodnight to a hero yesterday, strong magnificent Max who lived for nearly fourteen months past his bone cancer diagnosis. His stunning blue eyes, his enthusiasm and his stoic pawsonality put smiles on the faces of everyone he met. Max will never, ever be forgotten.

In the spirit of our courageous hero, we want to share these fun clips of him with you.

This movie was taken at our Tripawds get together in Santa Barbara last December. You can see here that not even lung mets could stop this boy from having a good time with the other pups.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Here’s a flashback video starring Max, taken when we met him in February 2008, not long after his amputation and diagnosis.

Click here to view the embedded video.

And here’s a few photos of Max will always put smiles on our faces.

Run free Max, go get ‘em!

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Tripawds is a close knit family, sharing our stories of victory and sadness, triumph and grief, from all corners of the world. Throughout the year, we become close with our amputee dog heroes and their pawrents. The more we grow to know about their daily lives while they recuperate from amputation and battle cancer, the harder it is when we lose them.

When a Tripawd warrior leaves this earthly life, we are griefstricken. We all know that this is the price we must pay for loving another being, but it doesn’t make saying goodbye any easier. Our community has suffered heavy losses this year, and our deepest condolences go out to pawrents who are hurting.

Many pawrents say they have avoided coming to the Forums lately, because they are afraid of finding out if any more dogs have passed on. But in the spirit of all of the Tripawds who have bravely lived life to the fullest, let’s not forget that the Tripawds we grieve for, are also the dogs who amazed us as they took on the world with fearlessness and courage. And every day, new Tripawds members are bringing hoppiness into our community!

On this New Year’s Eve, let’s all keep the good times of our Spirit Tripawds in our hearts, by remembering some of the highlights from the year gone by:

• Tazzie and Kona’s Wild Pawty
• Zeus: Two Milestones
• Cherry’s Three Day Celebration
• The Amazing Peanut
• Jake’s Victory Laps
• Yoda’s Rabbit Hunt
• Tika’s Funny Story

Our apologies for not including all of our Spirit Tripawds in the links above, but that’s where you come in! Please feel free to post links to more happy memories of our Spirit Tripawd Warriors, in the Comments field below, or in this Discussion Forum topic.

Thank you for being a part of our family. We send you all many, many warm wishes for a joyous, peaceful and hoppy 2010!

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Looking back at our nearly two years on the road together, I recall my people often listening to their favorite KHSU program online. Once in a while they would call Mad Dr. Matt, the host of Alternative Therapy, with updates about our location or my condition.

Now, one year after my passing, Jim has had a little fun with iMovie to create this tribute video featuring yours truly, the voice of Matty Dread and inspawrational music from Kelly’s Lot …

NOTE: No crying allowed! Unless they are tears of joy for all the fond memories we shared together as a pack.

Special thanks to the Mad Doctor for his special Jerry tribute show (#379 – 10/11/08) and frequent shout-outs! And many more to Frankie and his Rockin’ people for use of this acoustic version of Today from their Kelly’s Lot album Trio.

I believe the song says it all, and Barney helps us show at the end of the video … that it is all about the present.

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After I said goodbye to my pawrents, it wasn’t easy for them to adapt to life without me. After traveling the country together for nearly two years, all those lessons I taught them about living in the moment became harder for them to follow. Their hearts were simply too heavy, mourning my loss.

Although our pack was still spiritually together, they were so sad that I wasn’t physically with them to enjoy new adventures.

Over the following months, they shed many tears. And each time a dog crossed their path, they felt as if their hearts were sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

But slowly, and thankfully, all of you good Tripawd pawrents helped bring them back into the present. The Tripawds mission became something for them to focus on, other than grief. These last few months they’ve worked hard to build up the site to support more Tripawd pawrents, and it’s kept them very, very busy. With each anniversary of my passing, the heavy burden of grief slowly becomes a little lighter.

In July, I led my Mom and Dad to a place in Colorado where I would have loved to roam, a spot where any dog would feel like king of the mountain.

See, ever since I got sick, they had been looking for a new place for us to call home. Although we roamed from California to Maine and down to Texas, we all knew that the Rocky Mountains were our destiny. In spring, they headed to Colorado, and began their search for my land. But months went by, and nothing seemed destined to become ours.

They had just about given up on finding what they wanted, when I led them to our perfect spot in Red Feather Lakes, Colorado. Funny because in our travels together, we had driven by the turn-off from Hwy 287, just west of Fort Collins, three times. This time, the road led them to a beautiful mountain retreat they now call Jerry’s Acres.

As they began making plans to bring our storage stuff out from California, my friend Codie Rae, Girldog Extraordinaire, and her pawrents were hard at work, helping to rescue a fellow Shepherd in need of a loving home. While I wasn’t able to spend my last days on the land we sought for so long, I can’t help but think what a wonderful place Jerry’s Acres would be for a neglected puppy from the inner city… (continued)