Dogs live in the moment.  You may be experiencing your own grief, and imparting

human emotions onto your dog.  That is not to say that your dog doesn't miss the

other dog, but he/she will get past it a lot quicker than humans do, and probably doesn't

experience grief the way we do.  Try not to feel sorry for the remaining dog.  Things will be

different in your household.  I remember when our Hector died, Hobie was not

depressed or anything, but just very different.  For instance, he no longer barked when people

came to the door, stuff like that.  He was different, not bad, just different.  Try not to humanize

the dog, just enjoy your time together.

When we lost Chili Dawg, Finchy was lost without him. They had basically grown up together for almost 8 years and were only 6 months apart. He stopped eating- lost almost 10 pounds, we had to get him a shot from the vet to stimulate his appetite, and he aged very quickly- his muzzle is much grayer now. My husband was adamant against getting a second dog. He doesn't enjoy the heartache of losing them (who does?). I worked on him for almost 7 months and he agreed to rescue Buster. That was the first time we saw life back in Finchy. I'm not saying you need to get a 2nd dog though. That is what we needed for Finchy and I really believe it was because he and Chili were so close. They even slept together on the same dog bed & Finchy has started doing that with Buster now.

Evelyn needs some time to mourn and get used to the new normal as do you guys. It takes sometime as you realize the hole Dakota left. Can you do some type of hide and seek treat games with Evelyn to keep her mind active and her body active while she looks for the food?

Poor Evelyn. I know how you love her and i know how much you miss Dakota. Although Evelyn and Dakota had a sometimes adversarial relationship (I remember the tooth to the head incident!), they also were buddies and pack mates. As much as they love us humans, their dog friends understand them in ways we cannot.

So ... here is my story, for what it is worth.

I am sitting here crying like a big baby because it reminds me of when Sammy died — and of the fact that it is happening again to his brother, Sosa.

Sammy and my daughter's dog, Sosa, were littermates and best friends from the beginning. We picked them out because they kept separating from the group, maybe watching over his epileptic brother. Even though they usually slept in their own houses, they spent every weekday together. They were best friends. We used to joke about their telepathy (sleeping in mirror-opposite positions, turning over in their sleep at the same time, walking in step, knowing when the other one was to arrive). When Sammy developed osteo, Sosa worried. A week or so before Sammy died, Sosa watched him incessantly. The day he died, Sosa laid beside him with such a sad look on his face that it broke my heart even more.

When the vet came to euthanize Sammy, Sosa left the group and wouldn't approach. From then on, he didn't look for him in the house, although he would sit for hours looking out at our backyard. He lost weight and moped. He wouldn't touch any of Sammy's favorite toys even though they shared them before. He still won't play with two or three of them — even when Wrigley gets them out.

When we brought Wrigley home it was like Sosa found a new purpose. We joke that he regards Wrigley as "his." He is a natural nurturer (Amy says he should have been a female) and both Wrigley and his brother, Yoshi, who lives with our son in Chicago, have  tried numerous times to nurse on him

Now that Sosa has been diagnosed with histiocytic sarcoma and given weeks to a couple of months to live, here we go again. Wrigley adores his brother/mother and since we babysit Sosa five days a week he has patterned much of his behavior after him. He waits to eat until Sosa gets here and torments him/snuggles with him. Sosa has the patience of a saint.

I don't know what Wrigley will do without him. Although he is technically an only dog, he has always had Sosa. Maybe it will be better because Wrigley is only 10 months old. I don't know. We are going to Florida for a while and I am pretty sure Sosa won't be here when we get back. Will that make it easier or harder for Wrigley? I don't know and wish to hell we didn't have to find out.

My heart hurts for you, Shari. Like you, Evelyn needs time to mourn, so give her some time and reassess the situation. I am sure that whatever you decide to do will be right for your family. 

More hugs ...

Beth, Spirit Smilin' Sammy and MB Wiggly Wrigley

Oh no... I'm so sorry.  I've been taken up so much with Sid and his problems that I hadn't read other posts here and hadn't realised that you'd lost Dakota.  My sincere sympathies.

My own experience has been that yes, dogs definitely grieve, and often quite deeply.  It does seem to help if they can be there when the departed one departs, or at least to see and smell the body, but often this clearly isn't possible.  My first experience of this was when our first dog lost the companion we'd brought home for him and he was just like a lost soul, wandering about, asking to go out, then come in, then go out .. and we'd find him standing in the garden just staring at the ground, or with his nose in the air, just sniffing the wind as if to look for her.  It was heartbreaking.    His new companion, Renie, grieved deeply too, when Jim left us - but not in the same way.  For her it was as if she shut down. She mostly did what she normally did, but as if on automatic pilot, and she didn't play, or interact with other dogs at all.

The cure, for us, was to get another companion for our bereaved ones.  Each time, we have taken our dog to meet his or her new companion, and to choose for themselves.  This has worked out really well for us, with the bereaved dog recovering within days, and actually becoming happy and playful again.  I don't know if you are actually in a position to adopt a second dog at the moment, but if you are, it may well work for Evelyn if she's allowed to choose.  Renie was funny sometimes with other dogs, too, getting between Jim and other males and chasing off other bitches in a very assertive way, but we found her a new old guy to love, and she did.  She and Jack became inseparable.

And yes, Jack grieved when Renie left, but within five weeks (before we were quite ready to find him a companion) he left us too.  He was very old.

If you're not in a position to adopt a second dog, all you can do is give her time.  Try not to cater for ALL her demands though.  Sometimes a 'lost' dog will respond better if you appear to 'take charge' and tell her what to do.  For instance, instead of petting her when she comes and rakes your leg down with her claws, tell her firmly to go and lie down.  Maybe even do a little training with her - downs and stays and so on, teach her new tricks, or reinforce old ones.  She's lost an important member of her pack, and perhaps needs to be told where her place is in the new order.  Some people take the opportunity to practice a little NILIF.  Worth a try, anyway.