I am so tired that my eyes are crossing but I am so happy that my boy is back.  He has always been a bunny hopper, the way he uses his back legs.  The two are usually working together and I have enjoyed watching him in action.  Now he is feeling good and learning to move since the amputation.  He looks like a rocking horse, rearing back and hopping forward.  He is charming, ears flopping, hopping along. 

His nights seem to be the bad time, I don't know why.  The days have him happy and tail wagging, the nights have him crying and holding on to me.  I can't move or go anywhere because he will get up the second I do and get anxious.  He changes position about every 10 minutes, going from laying on one side to the other.  Everytime he lays on the amputation site he will cry after a couple of minutes and move back to the other side. 

The only thing that seems to work is my constant petting and kissing him.  If I stop to sleep he starts to cry.  Last night he got up about 10:30 and charged the door, wiggling and tail wagging.  I knew he was finally ready to go urinate so I opened the door and he was off like a shot around the corner, toward a new favorite bush.  He tried and tried to get into position, finally he just gave up and went girl style.  You should have seen the tail wagging and happy sounds once he finished!  We had a potty party, lots of praise.  That seemed to ease his burden and he finally slept for an hour straight.  Me too.

The vet just called me with the results from the biopsy.  It is osteosarcoma, and there was lymph fluid too.  He said that probably means it has spread.  I am not going to lose my happy momentum, but it threw me for a minute.  I  think I have learned with all of the reading to live like our dogs, moment to moment.  He is thrilled to see me this morning, and now sleeping peacefully with his fur brother and sister. 

I called Dr. Pam's office and I hope to get the chemo steps going.  I was also thinking about the biometric thread I read here somewhere.  I wonder can you do both?  Do the carboplatin and once that is done do the long term daily stuff?

I love him so very much, he feels like he is the best most innocent part of me.  I am having intense feelings around him, searing moments of love and wanting to hold on tight.  I want to fight this cancer in a cage match, which is completely un-like me, I want to kill this thing that is threatening our happy home, threatening my friend.

This is truly the monster in the dark, you can't see it, you can't run, but it seems to be haunting us.  I am getting angry, and I am afraid.  My husband is being awesome about this, whatever we need to do for Sammy we will do.  My husband is kind of a country boy, he doesn't really like talking about all of it but he is fighting this demon too.  In his world this isn't how animals were treated back home, but he has a huge heart and loves Sammy so much.  He wants to make a blog about this fight with cancer and he calls Sammy our little survivor-man.

I guess it is back to work for me, I now have puppy payments to make. 

Elizabeth and Sammy

Dear Sammy's Mom ( and Dad too),

Yippeee for the pee !!! I remember JD had no trouble with the pee thing it was the poop we waited days for. When she finally went, I swear it was so much and so heavy it almost broke the pooper scooper!!!

I love your description of the hopping, the movements seem to make them like puppies again. I can almost picture Sammy's ears flapping I ordered the K-9 Immunity and thought it gave JD a tremendous amount of energy, she really seemed to get a spark from it.

Hang in, you are moving through the days one by one, and I am sure Sammy is loving every hug, kiss, snuggle and squeeze.

I look forward to your next update.

Angel JD's Mom

Dr. Pam put JD on Gabipetin (sp?) immediatly after her surgery for the phantom pain.

 It was part of her meds- antibiotics, tramadol and gab. I only saw her have a couple of what I would call twitches in the shoulder area near the surgery site. She never showed any signs of pain or discomfort.

I remember how scary the panting was for me. th night before her surgery JD sat up and panted for hours- so upsetting, thinking how stressed she must have been.

Call the vet, get some peace of mind. And nap when you can !!!!

And give our friend Sammy a special hug from me and the brush of an angel wing from JD.

Angel JD's mom