Thanks for the thoughts, sympathy and love from you all.

My brother happened to need a babysitter for his dog this weekend, which was a good distraction for me.  His crazy little beagle mix is the exact opposite of Yoda.  She adored Yoda though, so I was a little worried that her searching the house for him would be overwhelming.  She looked, but not for long, because Gracie's Aunt had lots of things planned to spoil her.  She got some of Yoda's favorite treats, a new stuffed ball that Yoda hadn't gotten around to tearing up.  It felt better to see her enjoy those than to have them sitting around.  We also went to dog parks, one Saturday and one on Sunday.  Sunday was a tough one because it was the park Yoda went to most often and even moreso because Gracie played with a doberman.  As a mix, and with a different color scheme and all, seeing the doberman wasn't so sad, but when they played and she (the doberman) started to vocalize a bit, that dobey voice was hard to hear.  But I got through it and Gracie had a great time.

I expect that I'm past the worst and that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I've just been pretty calmly resigned to depression since it happened.  But I'm still functioning – going to work and all - if in a bit of a haze.  Part of me continues to expect Yoda to be in the next room when I move about the house.  I could be on the computer typing out an e-mail to a friend or relative to let them know that I had to put Yoda to sleep and still, right after, find myself thinking as I get up from the computer to go to the kitchen or wherever, that Yoda will be on the couch looking at me expectantly for his walk when I pass through the living room.  That's not so bad.  Today on the bus ride home though, a bit stressed out from not getting enough sleep, it crossed my mind that I would feel better once I got home and could give Yoda a hug.  You just have to let these thoughts pass through you, I guess.

Meanwhile, I'm working on ways to keep myself busy.  In the near future I'll just need to use my free time to catch up on my sleep.  It's been hard to fall asleep at night, partly because of Yoda and partly because my work schedule changed from afternoons to early mornings!  I haven't adjusted yet.  But soon I hope to be volunteering at the Humane Society and I also hope to pick up some very part-time hours at my old job.  I'm nowhere near ready for a new dog yet, but I'll be ready a lot sooner than my bank account will, which is bugging me.  So making some extra money would keep me busy and help fill up a health savings account for a future furbaby.

So that's how I'm doing.  Thanks for checking in Jake's Mom.  And thanks again to all of your for your support since and before Yoda's passing.  I'll be around.

Poor Yoda.  When I read about the rabbit incident, I was reminded to Anya (who happens to have a bunny phobia) in the musical Buffy episode where she sings about some mysterious happenings about town:

"Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes
They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies, bunnies, it must be bunnies."

I figured Yoda was thinking the same thing.  

It's not easy to let them go, even when it's clear it's time.  My heart is heavy with sadness for you.  

I've volunteered with a rescue group and at the shelter where I met Boinka.  It's hard to see all the desperate babies, their eyes searching for some assurance that they are still loved and wanted.  Good on you for stepping up to help them through it.  

Mel 

Dear Yodasmum,

I always love it when you make a post as I would get to see Yoda's gorgeous photo every time.  I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  Your story of finding Yoda is so special. 

Thinking of you

Storm and Koda:)

I am soo devastated to read this.  What a sad, sad day on Tripawds.com with losses.  Yoda was the coolest, happiest looking boy.  Know that you are not alone in your grief.  Tears in my coffee right now.  You are in my thoughts.  What you did for Yoda is the most selfless thing.  It's so excruciating to make that decision and say those goodbyes, but we do it *for them*.  Thank God they are free of the emotional drama we put ourselves through.  Yoda was very lucky to have you for a mom!

My sincere condolences,

Dawn

Hi Spirit Yoda's Mom,

How have you been doing? I was thinking about you… and miss all your fun posts about Yoda… I'm so sorry that she lost her battle… I hate this freaken cancer!!!!!

Are you still volunteering at the shelter? It must be so rewarding… but also sad, seeing all those poor babies looking for a forever home. How can people be so mean?! Thank God for people like you that try to help!

Sending you a hug!

Luv,

Angel Jake's Mom