I know I posted a short note earlier that Alexander's time had come, and I want to thank everyone for their thoughts, prayers and support.

We knew Alexander's time was coming but this morning he let us know it was time to say goodbye. He was in pain and the Tramadol just wasn't cutting it anymore.

We took him to his vet's office and his two regular techs, from Chemo, came and met us even though it was their day off. They helped us gert him out of the car and Alexander hopped on into the office with his head held high. His dignity was so important to me. Once we got him settled in the room on a big comfy bed with blankets, they gave us some time alone with him. I looked at him and told him he didn't have to be strong anymore, he could stop fighting. My husband, Kevin and I hugged him, kissed him and told him what an amazing boy he was. We then said ok, it was time. I layed down on the floor with him (love spooning with a Great Dane), and held him close. I felt his spirit leave that broken body, I knew it the moment it happened. He was free.

One thing I did not expect was how much I didn't want to be there right after. It was like, he was not there anymore, just that broken body, which I loved, but it was no longer him….really hard to deal with.

We are home now, and this is so difficult. I find myself glancing in his usual spots and it is like a punch in the stomach every time I don't see him and have to remember he is gone……

I am devastated, crying and a complete mess. I don't think I have ever felt pain like this before. I just don't even know what to do. And I find myself a little angry AT myself for being a bit relieved that this is over for him.

Alexander loved us unconditionally, he trusted us and gave so much joy and happiness to us….I do not have one single regret, from amputation to Chemo, to even saying goodbye today. We fought the good fight.

Rest in Peace my beloved Xander.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to know how to feel when you're so overwhelmed by the pain and emptiness, but all of those emotions are so right. You've spent so many months, and especially the past few weeks worrying about Alexander and taking such loving care of him, now he is pain free and at peace. I think that knowledge is a relief and one to be embraced. I hope your wonderful memories of him are comforting. You will all be in my thoughts.

Cynthia

You guys did a wonderful job managing Xanders' cancer.  Know that, understand that and you will understand any guilt you may feel is irrational.  Let the grieving process run its' course without guilt, you did everything possible and Xander knows that.  Our little guy Alex is only now having issues four months post surgery.  I prepared myself for the worst @ the Vets office Friday and I started feeling and remembering all the emotions you described.  Most of us here know exactly what you are going through and the emotional exhaustion attached.  But at some point Spirit Xander will find a way to let you guys know he is just fine.  Not the usual way with a nudge of his nose, off key bark or just appearing with his favorite toy in his mouth to play.  But he will let you know just the same.  Bless you…

I'm so sorry to hear of Xander's passing.  Please know our thoughts are with you tonight.

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. One can just tell from his photo what a beautiful, proud, noble and loving boy Xander was. Even when we know without a doubt that it's the right thing and the right time, it is so hard to say goodbye to loved ones.

Maybe not today or tomorrow or the coming days, but I know you will, down the road, find comfort in your memories; they are, after all, what keep our loved ones forever close.

Again, my deepest condolences.

Run free, Xander. You're in good company.