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Uschi died at sunset
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Olympia
Member Since:
16 September 2008
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22 February 2009 - 9:44 pm
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We sent Uschi off to be with her angels on Friday night, at sunset. Western Washington is known for rain and clouds but amazingly, gratefully, we had a beautiful, sunny day. On Thursday I made the appointment and then realized that Uschi's never-waning appetite was a blessing, so I fed her steak and cooked salmon for her last 3 meals. She loved it!  It was so strange for me to see this dog who from the ribs up was totally normal: moving, "talking", playing and chewing on her ball...but from the ribs down she was in great pain. She chose to sit in her bed all the time, not moving, but still adding her opinion to all that happened around her. My in-laws came to visit with her early in the day and she was soooooo happy about that. Later I carried her outside (she winced and whined) and laid her on a blanket in the sun. She chewed on her ball, snapped at a fly, and rolled on her back and gave me her paw. She watched a hummingbird. I was so torn as to what to do, as I could see she had so much life in her. The vet came to our home in the late afternoon and examined her and said we were doing the best thing for her because when Uschi was stood up, she was obviously uncomfortable. She couldn't walk (hop) at all.

I suppose it was all the pain meds she was on plus her overly large personality and loyalty that kept her so engaged and vocal, right to the end. I agreed that it was better to release her now, when she was essentially happy and wanting to eat, give kisses, and all that (as opposed to waiting until she was really bad off). I agreed to it, but my heart broke when it was done. Through my tears I looked outside to the setting sun and saw venus high and bright in the sky. It had been a beautiful day and a really really heartfelt moment of giving her all the love we could before the medication took effect. She was eating treats up until the last second.

I did not want to give up on her, but at the same time I just couldn't take her to one more clinic. The day was so perfect for leaving...my auto-pilot self took over and made the call to the vet the day before, and on the day of got a babysitter to take our young son for a while, unplugged all the phones, filled her belly with salmon, and stayed with her all day. My auto-pilot self kept me going until Uschi was gone, then I slowly unravelled and began to mourn for a dog that had such a good, fun and totally mis-hap laden life! 

What a wild dog! What a loyal dog. What a super keen, super smart dog. What a fun, playful dog. What a pesky dog! What a bully of a dog (to our other dog). What a vocal dog - always! How lucky we were to find her in that kennel in Sacramento in spring, 1998. How lucky she was that we took her in...a dog that had been surrendured by someone (surely because of her energy level!). Our house is totally empty without her personality in it, and the other dog is depressed. But after a day of crying at the ocean's edge, Sunday dawned anew, and we began to create new routines. Now I am feeling gratitude that she came into our lives and stayed so long.

Should cancer strike another dog of mine, I am infinitely more informed than I was before Uschi, and I'm thankful for that. The vet. neurologist had even seen Jerry on TV and mentioned it to me...famous as he is. As for Uschi, the general thought by everybody is that because large doses of pain meds did not seem to help this mysterious back pain, the osteosarcoma must have recurred in her spine. We'll never know for sure because I was unwilling to move her anymore (and thus no more xrays...etc). But we made the right choice for her, and oh what a sunset...

Livermore CA
Member Since:
24 January 2009
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22 February 2009 - 9:58 pm
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My heart breaks for you, but how wonderful to make her last day totally good.  And now she can fly!

Cemil and mom Mary, Mujde and Radzi….appreciating and enjoying Today

Cemil's blog

Member Since:
28 May 2008
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22 February 2009 - 10:07 pm
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We are so sorry to hear about Uschi...you gave her an incredible gift of love...the most self-less act we can do for our fur babies. I only hope and pray that I can be as selfless when the time comes.

We are sending prayers and thoughts your way as you grieve. Someone said this once on this sight and I loved it..."Grieve gently". Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself during this difficult time.

Much love,

Heather and Zeus

Heather and Spirit Zeus - Our life changing journey…from the earth to the heavens…one day at a time…always together

Member Since:
11 February 2009
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22 February 2009 - 10:34 pm
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What a beautiful tribute for Uschi. I'm so sorry for your loss, but you did it right for her and she was happy up until the next stage in her journey. Hugs to you and yours.

Northern CA
Member Since:
23 December 2008
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22 February 2009 - 11:10 pm
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How lucky she was indeed to have such wonderful pawrents.  What a beautiful goodbye you gave her- I am sure she is telling all her tripawd friends up there what a great day she had-

We are thinking of you and hope the days ahead are filled with the wonderful memories of your beautiful baby.

Seanne and Wrigley

Seanne and Angel Wrigley

Edmonton
Member Since:
16 February 2008
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23 February 2009 - 12:41 am
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I cannot tell you how sorry I am for your loss.  You did make a right decision for Uschi.  Bless you for giving Uschi such a memorable farewell, such a beautiful send-off.

It was exactly nine months ago the 20th day, on which Genie left because of the similar symptoms.  Likewise, I never have any proof of what the cause was, but what else could be that aggressive and vicious to have completely taken her mobility in three days! 

It did not matter anymore. Uschi is now running around, playing with other ex tripawds in Heaven, where there is no pain, no tears.

Hugs!

Member Since:
25 April 2008
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23 February 2009 - 11:16 am
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I wanted to express my sympathy for your loss of Uschi. The final act of love for our fur babies is knowing when to say goodbye . I know her absence is surely missed, however, you let her go to end her suffering. It does indeed sound like the cancer returned.

Another angel is in heaven… goodbye for now, but not forever.

Kim & Buster

Kim & Angel Buster

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."
–Anatole France

Northern Indiana
Member Since:
15 January 2009
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23 February 2009 - 11:41 am
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What a wonderful account of your last day with Uschi, I read with tears filling my eyes and my heart aching for you.  I am glad you had the chance to give her a grand send off.  I really do believe in heaven she is well and pain free.

I am sorry that you all had to go through the pain & heartache.  Take good care of yourself.

Gineej & Paris

Grateful for every moment we had with Paris…..no regrets!

Honoring her life by opening our hearts & home to Addy!

On The Road


Member Since:
24 September 2009
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23 February 2009 - 4:13 pm
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Thank you for sending this beautiful picture of your little Uschmonster ... it reminds us of Jerry on his blanket when his time came.

three legged dog uschi taken by cancerImage Enlarger

Uschi was adorable and will always be in our hearts. Please know that by sharing her story here, you are certain to help others when they face the same difficult decisions you did. Thank you.

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

Member Since:
25 April 2008
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23 February 2009 - 7:36 pm
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very beautiful picture

Kim & Angel Buster

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."
–Anatole France

Member Since:
28 January 2009
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24 February 2009 - 9:19 pm
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I am so sorry.  She was very beautiful and you loved her so.  

Jody

Member Since:
2 October 2008
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26 February 2009 - 11:26 pm
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I am so sorry as well.  I am crying reading your post.  But what a lucky dog, loved so well- and what a lucky family to have had ten plus years with that beautiful spirit.

Christine

My heart lives at Rainbow Bridge
Member Since:
28 November 2008
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27 February 2009 - 5:20 pm
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Run free sweet Uschi, at Rainbow Bridge.

Uschimonster, my heart is with you.  I pray I have your strength if or when the time comes.  Her picture is beautiful.  Thanks for sharing.

Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul.  Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.

Olympia
Member Since:
16 September 2008
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13 March 2009 - 12:34 am
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My heartfelt thanks to everyone with a kind word to this fellow dog owner in mourning. I did want to share that going to a place of comfort, and a place bigger than my grief (the ocean) was so healing. I took our other dog along and walked and sat in the sand. I let my voice be swallowed by the ocean waves and said it all out loud: that I was sorry I couldn't fix it. that I wanted forgiveness for any decisions regarding treatment that I made or didn't make. I let go of any regrets regarding medical choices.  And I cried. just then a warm (?!) soft rain fell on my face and I felt like everything negative I was feeling was washed from me and into the vast beach. I stayed there all day and past sunset. Heidi dog slept all the way home and Pink Floyd played loud cleared my mind and helped yet more tears fall. I went to bed early and slept late. When I finally got up the next day, I truly felt better. Now it is all a set of new routines with this other dog, and I can honestly say I'm grateful for this one on one time with her very gentle, quiet personality. Quite opposite of Uschi.

On The Road


Member Since:
24 September 2009
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13 March 2009 - 4:13 pm
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uschmonster said:

I did want to share that going to a place of comfort, and a place bigger than my grief (the ocean) was so healing.


This picture you paint is so beautiful. What a wonderful way to heal. Thanks for sharing. I know Uschi had no trouble forgiving you because she never would have wanted you to feel regret in the first place. Peace

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

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