Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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harmony said
You, my friend, are still fighting. Cancer created a chaotic life for you and Neka. You're still living that catastrophic recovery.
Pam ... quite simply .. the best analogy I have EVER seen to describe the initial loss. I definitely want to re-use that in Shelby's blog today (I'll give you credit). It describes 100% how we feel during the fight, the journey ... the chaos to catastrophic recovery. Simply put --- an epic sh!t storm!!!
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
Stephanie, do you see how Neka is still reaching out and touching lives through your post? Do you see that? As we ppst ro "help" you, we are still being helped through our own grief, recent or long ago, with some of the wisdom shared here.
Pam, your enlightenment is shinging through! Miss Harmony, you are still touching lives too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
harmony said
It's time to forgive yourself for not being able to heal Neka.
I've been reading along and I just haven't known what to say. But I think this says it the best for me.
You did everything you could, time and again. That Neka finally could fight no longer is not your fault. It is not her fault. It is nobody's fault except for the rotten cancer that broke her body and took her from you.
Denise, Bill and Angel Ellie
Active 10+ Pyr mix suddenly came up lame with ACL tear in left rear leg. Scheduled for a TPLO but final pre-op x-rays indicated a small suspicious area, possibly OSA, which could have caused the ACL tear. Surgeon opened the knee for TPLO but found soft bone. Biopsy came back positive for OSA. Became a Tripawd 9/18/14. Carbo6 with Cerenia and Fluids. Pain free and living in the moment. Crossed the Bridge on 7/12/15 after probable spread of cancer to her cervical spine. A whole lifetime of memories squeezed into 10 months. Here's her story: Eloise
benny55 said
Stephanie, do you see how Neka is still reaching out and touching lives through your post? Do you see that? As we ppst ro "help" you, we are still being helped through our own grief, recent or long ago, with some of the wisdom shared here.Pam, your enlightenment is shinging through! Miss Harmony, you are still touching lives too!
thank you.. she is everywhere, touches everyone that knew her, even if they only knew her through words and pics.... im trying!!... I want to know that her story and treatment could help others not face what I did on my own....that is my wish, my hope for another family.
Angel Neka
7/4/2003-4/5/2016
2.5yr 3x cancer warrior survivor
harmony said
You, my friend, are still fighting. Cancer created a chaotic life for you and Neka. You're still living that catastrophic recovery.
xoxoxoxo
harmony...
I think you are right, this statement just hit very home with me, made me cry more ;probably because you are right, and regardless of what I missed, its because I feel I missed something, as a fighter, as her advocate, as "her" fighter, I feel I failed there, and all the kind words and soothing encouragement, it means so much, but Im stuck, I am still in fight mode, and because I feel I had one more thing I could have checked to be sure, to just know; that I didn't check because it didn't occur to me until the absolute last moment, it has overwhelmed me as one missed punch in the fight. Yes she may have needed to go, but in my mind its because me loosing one last punch! Rationalization doesn't exist in mind that is fixated.
the way you worded it so precisely, just resonates with me so.
I don't know how to stop!
Thank you,
I will have to use those words to myself and my future..
Angel Neka
7/4/2003-4/5/2016
2.5yr 3x cancer warrior survivor
I am so sorry! Please, please don't beat yourself up. I think second guessing is all a part of this journey. I remember very clearly after Ty crossed over, second guessing every move I had made. Immediately after I let him go, I had regrets, was there something else I could have done? The answer is No. There was nothing else, as a matter of fact, I probably waited a day or 2 too long. It is just too hard to see this in the midst of fresh grief. Somehow, in our minds, we have to rationalize everything. you did so much for her and she knew it. That included the final, unselfish gift of letting her go with dignity. Hugs, Lori, Ty and gang
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
Stephanie, I forgot Neka's purple hearts in my other post, and she earned so many for everything she and you dealt with...... We will never forget her 🐾❤️
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Love,
Bonnie, Angel Polly, Pearl, and Zuzu 🐾
Oh Stephanie....just now catching up. After we last chatted, the news was not unexpected, but still so hard to hear. I don't know what words to express to you that haven't already been said. My heart aches for the sadness you're feeling. It also aches to read about your beating yourself up. Throughout our journey, the one thing I've prayed hardest for is the ability/strength to do everything in my power for Nitro - to have no regrets at the end of the day. It's easier said than done, but you need to have faith that everything went according to plan for Neka......maybe not the plan YOU envisioned, but perhaps the plan that was pre-ordained for her. You've always said you were just giving Neka the tools, but you are every bit the warrior she was. No one could have been a better advocate for her best friend than you were.
At one of my low points in Nitro's journey, I read a post you'd written that pretty much changed my whole outlook on life; It became my mission to emulate you, to be as strong as you were with all you were dealing with. Never doubt you did everything in your power for your girl - she doesn't. I try to live my life believing that everything happens for a reason; I may not like it, or understand it, but there is a reason.
I pray that you find peace in the coming days, weeks.
Paula and Nitro
Nitro 11 1/2 yr old Doberman; right front amp June 2014. Had 6 doses carboplatin, followed by metronomic therapy. Rocked it on 3 legs for over 3 years! My Warrior beat cancer, but couldn't beat old age. He crossed the Bridge peacefully on July 25, 2017, with dignity and on his terms. Follow his blog entitled "Doberman's journey"
"Be good, mama loves you".....run free my beautiful Warrior
dobemom said
Oh Stephanie....just now catching up. After we last chatted, the news was not unexpected, but still so hard to hear. I don't know what words to express to you that haven't already been said. My heart aches for the sadness you're feeling. It also aches to read about your beating yourself up. Throughout our journey, the one thing I've prayed hardest for is the ability/strength to do everything in my power for Nitro - to have no regrets at the end of the day. It's easier said than done, but you need to have faith that everything went according to plan for Neka......maybe not the plan YOU envisioned, but perhaps the plan that was pre-ordained for her. You've always said you were just giving Neka the tools, but you are every bit the warrior she was. No one could have been a better advocate for her best friend than you were.At one of my low points in Nitro's journey, I read a post you'd written that pretty much changed my whole outlook on life; It became my mission to emulate you, to be as strong as you were with all you were dealing with. Never doubt you did everything in your power for your girl - she doesn't. I try to live my life believing that everything happens for a reason; I may not like it, or understand it, but there is a reason.
I pray that you find peace in the coming days, weeks.
Paula and Nitro
Paula,
you make my cry and smile.. (damn emotions)....Im so , so glad to know our journey was able to help you with something in your journey, that is the biggest thing I had hoped to give out of all my experiences to people.... I didnt think Id be somewhere i cant even help or get control of myself.. I mean yeah Ive been there in moments, but this moment doesnt seem to end.. I can only urge everyone gather all data before the final moment, redoing of blood work, or what ever you feel "you" need to feel ok, because then you can know, you can know all and every bit of information. Because even in moments that seem like there is no hope, I had forgotten to use some of my knowledge and gut instincts, I gave in to things at face value. Because, remembering the ER docs back in december were "implying' it was time then, but you have to give a chance, often times its more stress on us then them, so It takes getting a grip and knowing your offering them at least a chance to go at it. Ahh the "happens for a reason" phrase, thats my phrase, but hard to listen to yourself when your stuck..uug
Maybe its OCD or just flat out control freak. And I only questioned it because of me experiencing something similar from another pet that triggered these thoughts, only it was too late to confirm. I am familiar with the process, Ive let other pets go, where I had to make the decision, and I knew there was not options of care, and now including Neka I have 2 that pieces were "off". I know time will heal and get less hard, but IDK if time will shake this unknown for me. but im existing and going thru the motions at this point, well at least trying to go thru the motions.
thank you so much for your kind words..
if our ever up in illinois, would love to meet you and your boy.
Angel Neka
7/4/2003-4/5/2016
2.5yr 3x cancer warrior survivor
Oir dear Stephanie, you did "offer " her so many chances to "have a go at it" and she took it. You offered it again this time by taki g her to the vet, giving her fluids,tummy meds, etc. She rejected your offer. She had mets that were nkw visible, alo g with other issues that were not so visible. All.of these combined, even gh each one of tthese issues seemed somewhat stable, combined with the other unknowns, just too much. She did NOT have severe dehydration! Right now, for whatever reason,no one can convince yiu if that. No vet, no tests that show other thi gs were at play. And the reality is...as hard as it is to digest....you will never know exactly what was going on. No amount of rethinking every single aspect will change that.
If Neka wanted ro continue the fight, if she'd wanted to try and eek out a few more days or weeks, she would have rallied. Neka was tired! She didn't want ro fight anymore. Nothing yiu could have doe would have changed that. She wanted release.
As hard as you are trying to convince yourself it was your "fault", on those times you convince yourself that, what possible purpose does it serve???
What is your learning lesson here Stephanie? What is Neka trying to teach you on a Soul growth level? If we look at every event in our life as an opportunity to grow.....why was this event presented to you like this? What are you supppsed ro learn from a Soul's perspective? I can PROMISE you it has nothing to do with the "why" this happened, but your reaction to it. Of course I'm not referring to your grief reaction, but rather the focus...the being stuck...on believing you could "control" everything about Neka's unavoidable transition.
Steu, I hope you take all of these ramblings in the manner intended. It breaks our hearts, not only because of your overwhelmingly @oss, but because you find it necessary to blame yourself, even though it is sooooo clear to everyone of us here that you are way off base. You are stuck in a totally false premise that you jave convin yourself is true. You are tormenting yoirself and it is breaking our hearts. It doesn't mean we don't understand...not at all. It doesn't mean we aren't empathic... not at all. Some of us know all to well why you are feeling the way you are. We are just trying to find some way to help you find free yourself, no matter how briefly, from this futile never ending loop of guilt.
Just throw all this into the "for whatever's it's worth" stack and visit it on occasion.
You ARE getti g through this. It doesn't mean it feels good and it doesn't mean the hurt is seemingly unbearable, and it sure doesn't mean you have to go thru this in a quiet "sa e" way! Heck no! Kicking, screaming, whatever you have to do to get from one moment to the next! Give yourself credit Stephanie. You have an incredible strength that is helping you move forward, one micro inch at a time.
Neka's strength is surrounding you. The strength of the Tripawd Universe is surrounding you. We are all surrounding you with love.
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
We'd love to meet you too! We're actually not too far away from you - we live in Green Bay. We're planning on coming down your way to do the Puppy Up walk in September - in Wheaton. I'm not sure Nitro will make the trip however, he doesn't like other dogs.
Paula and Nitro
Nitro 11 1/2 yr old Doberman; right front amp June 2014. Had 6 doses carboplatin, followed by metronomic therapy. Rocked it on 3 legs for over 3 years! My Warrior beat cancer, but couldn't beat old age. He crossed the Bridge peacefully on July 25, 2017, with dignity and on his terms. Follow his blog entitled "Doberman's journey"
"Be good, mama loves you".....run free my beautiful Warrior
Something I found for you today...if I can make the link work! Read it in small bites, big bites, or, maybe not even at all. You may find something that speaks to you.
The pictures are lovely.
http://www.petl.....ge-2504195
Hang on to us. We love you. Try and remember to eat a little something, okay? Neka is probably on her tenth steak and fifth bowl.of ice cream!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
benny55 said
Something I found for you today...if I can make the link work! Read it in small bites, big bites, or, maybe not even at all. You may find something that speaks to you.The pictures are lovely.
http://www.petl.....ge-2504195
Hang on to us. We love you. Try and remember to eat a little something, okay? Neka is probably on her tenth steak and fifth bowl.of ice cream!
thank you
Angel Neka
7/4/2003-4/5/2016
2.5yr 3x cancer warrior survivor
dobemom said
We'd love to meet you too! We're actually not too far away from you - we live in Green Bay. We're planning on coming down your way to do the Puppy Up walk in September - in Wheaton. I'm not sure Nitro will make the trip however, he doesn't like other dogs.Paula and Nitro
yes, Ill be there, hard to say "alone".. but had planned on it.. do we have and exact date for that.. I want to be able to take off work.
Angel Neka
7/4/2003-4/5/2016
2.5yr 3x cancer warrior survivor
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