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Remembering Max--and getting another dog???
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31 March 2016 - 12:16 am
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Hello my dear Tripawd friends:

I haven't had the heart to come back here since Maxey passed away in October. So many times I've wanted to log on and tell you all again how thankful I am for your support and kindness during one of the hardest and saddest and yet most beautiful times of my life. I miss my Max so deeply, and some days I'm overwhelmed with grief. My life has been idle and strange and unsatisfying since he died. I just haven't had the heart to come back, but I pray every day for all tripawds and their owners and the people who treat and care for and love them.

I've come across several other golden retrievers in these last few months, and every time I stop and visit one I get a sense of peace and a few minutes of happiness. I recognize that at some point I'll need that back in my life, but I haven't felt ready for another dog. It doesn't seem like I've grieved enough yet. Everyone keeps telling me another dog helps you heal and fills the void, but Max was so, so precious to me and filled up my soul. How could anyone else be as special?

Then my boyfriend saw an ad in the paper for golden puppies and persuaded me to inquire about them. The parents are so stunning and gorgeous and the puppies are so ridiculously cute that I relented. We drove out to the breeder for a visit, and one sweet boy found me and tugged at my heart and made the whole thing feel possible. The five adults (including both parents) on site were so magnificent and loving, and I got that peaceful feeling again when they locked eyes with me and let me run my fingers through their fur and stroke their ears and necks. So we committed to the little fella from the litter and intend to bring him home on Sunday.

Now it's getting late at night and the pangs of guilt and grief are setting in. I don't want to replace Max! I know I'll love this new guy and give him a good, happy home, but I'm suddenly super scared the memories of Max will start to fade away. It's only been five months since he died. I thought it would be YEARS before I got a new puppy! What am I doing? 

Has anyone had experience with this? Does a new dog help for most people? Are there any reassurances that this is the right thing to do? Or cautionary tales to the contrary?

Schofield, WI
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31 March 2016 - 7:56 am
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So good to hear from you!  Now go back and read your own words and thoughts.  Words like idle, strange and unsatisfiying.  Words like

i feel a sense of peace and happiness when visiting with other golden retrievers.  Max is doing his job from the heavens and helping you heal every time you are around these dogs.  He's showing you there's room in your heart and more love to give to another special dog.  You aren't trying to replace Max you're filling a huge void in your life that was left when you lost your beautiful boy.  Your memories of Max will always be there and he will always be special in a million ways.  So will this new furface become special in a million different ways from Max.  That is what is so great about the human heart it has great capacity for love.  I think Max has hand picked this new special little member of your family for you.  Max is a piece of your heart and will remain there forever.  Much love & hugs ((())). We will also need pictures of this new furface so we can all see who Max picked out for you.

Linda, Ollie, Riley & our own Spirit Mighty Max

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31 March 2016 - 8:40 am
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So sorry to hear about Max. But thank you for letting us know. When the timer comes, the right pup will find you. If you happen to find a Tripawd Rescue, the Tripawds Foundation will reimburse your adoption fee.

Please feel free to call the toll-free Tripawds Helpline if you ever want to talk.

It's better to hop on three legs than to limp on four.™
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Virginia
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31 March 2016 - 8:56 am
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Oh Susanna....so many thoughts running through my head. Of course, trying to type them out fast before they fade....well....to state the obvious, typing and I just don't have a good relationship!

I think almost everyone here who now have our pups and cats at the Bridge absolutely understand your mixed feelings. And for goodness sakes, it IS hard coming back here after your loss. Most never do. It is just too hard. It is also a place that,anytime anyone does come back, they will still feel the love of family. You and Max are a huge part of this family a d ALWAYS will be no matter what! We all understand the grief. I'm coming up on two years, as are several here this April. And we all still grieve. We all still jave waves of sadness. But we all can PROMISE you that the happier memories to take over more and more.

Ditto everything Linda said!

For me, and this was just me, I'm probably o e of the few who didn't feel "guilt" per se when Merry Myrtle came into my life approximately two months after Happy Hannah transitioned. I could not stand the void, not havi g a dog snuggling in bed with me, not having a dog greet me when I came home, the silence, the emptiness,..ugh!

I KNEW Happy Hannah would send me someone to love, someone to help fill the hole in my heart, someone who needed to be loved, someone who would bring me laughter again. Happy Hannah always loved it when I laughed. She, just like Max, do not want to see us sad!

M.ax is sending you this puppy without question ! Max knows your heart is ready and is not interested at all in what your "head" says!!

The puppy will help the grief fade, NOT the memories! In fact, the puppy will help solidify some of the happiest memories you have with Max, some things you had even forgotten about! You'll find yourself saying, "Max used to do that!" Or, "Max would NEVER do that!"

You will @ove this puppy for the Soul he is. You @ove Max for the Soul he is. Nobody is replacing anybody. The puppy is merely enhancing the love that you have un your heart, the love that needs to be released because that's who you are. Max is sending you this adorable, fat bellied puppy to so you can be who he fell in @ove with, and who this pupoy will fall in love with you.

Holding onto grief and guilt keep you separate from being the happy and loving Soul that Max wants you to be. He made sure you would NOT be able to deny yourself of this pupoy's love! ADORABLENESS is hard to ignore! The peace you were feeling eing with the puppy and the pawrents....that was Max communicating from his Soul to yours that rhis is EXACTLY the right dog and the right time!

For me,and again this is just me, the thought of "replacing" a dog doesn't even enter my mind. As Li da said, each do has their own "specialness", their own gifts, their own life lessons to teach. Every dog just adds another dimension to my ability to love...and be loved. Every dog is an expands on the gifts of each other.

For me, knlw cautionary tale other than just trust that Max is sending you the lerfect dog Soul at the lerfect time. Let go of all questions, all doubts, and just trust that you are ready for the craxy adventure that only a puppy can provide...and puppy breath! Love puppy breath!!

BTW, Sassy sent Michelle TWO puppies to keep her occupied! Shelby sent Alison a "street doggy" that brought her the most incredible Soul's growth with lessons aboht love, even though she tried really hard NOT to love Jasper Lily. And they are both so crazy in love with each other now!

In addition to Merry Myrtle (Bull Mastiff), I also now have an adopted tripawd Coonhoun. Love is a beautiful thing!

Cannot wait to see what Max sent you!! TRUST MAX!! PICTURES!!!!!!!

@ots of love!

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Maryland
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31 March 2016 - 9:21 am
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I think Sally really nailed it when she said the new puppy will help the grief fade but not the memories. I don't think anyone who loves a dog ever completely 'gets over it', whether you wait 2 months or 2 years for another. Each dog is special and creates their own special place in your heart. When you get a new dog, that space doesn't get squeezed out, your heart just gets bigger to make room! 

Active 10+ Pyr mix suddenly came up lame with ACL tear in left rear leg. Scheduled for a TPLO but final pre-op x-rays indicated a small suspicious area, possibly OSA, which could have caused the ACL tear. Surgeon opened the knee for TPLO but found soft bone. Biopsy came back positive for OSA. Became a Tripawd 9/18/14. Carbo6 with Cerenia and Fluids. Pain free and living in the moment. Crossed the Bridge on 7/12/15 after probable spread of cancer to her cervical spine. A whole lifetime of memories squeezed into 10 months. Here's her story: Eloise

Idaho
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31 March 2016 - 9:23 am
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I completely understand where your head is right now. We lost both of our special boys just a year ago...Gus in January and Murphy in April. We too said "not yet". It took us just three months to realize that the void left by "the guys" was not going away. In June we found a wonderful soul who makes our home complete again. No, Ollie is NOT Gus or Murphy. He is just Ollie, a special pup (and use the term pup loosely, as he is a two year old Yellow Lab rescue) who has made our lives complete again. We do not forget the memories. We do still get teary at times. But when we do, there is a lovingl pair of brown eyes that look at us and say that we are his whole world, and then things get brighter again.

Kathi and the Turbotail April Angel...and the Labradork

Murphy is a five year old Lab/Chessie cross. He was hit by a car on 10/29/12 and became a Tripawd on 11/24/12. On 2/5/13, he had a total hip replacement on his remaining back leg. He has absolutely no idea that he has only three legs!

UPDATE: Murphy lived his life to the fullest, right up until an aggressive bone lesion took him across the Rainbow Bridge on April 9, 2015 and he gained his membership in the April Angels. Run free, my love. You deserve it!

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31 March 2016 - 11:58 am
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Oh, I knew you guys would set me right. Thanks--such a relief to hear and get such whole-hearted affirmation. I was reminded last night of my "mantra" during Max's ordeal: I always told myself when things were especially tough, "Have faith. Do the right thing. Have more faith." And getting another dog--entering into the cycle of life and inevitable death again--is itself an act of faith.

My 19-year-old son caught me crying last night and asked what was going on. I told him I was on the Tripawds site again, looking for comfort and support. He took a look at the site and said, "Wow. Who knew such a nice place existed on the internet?" It's so true! There's a lot of nastiness out there, but you come to tripawds.com and just breathe a sigh of relief. I don't know how I would have made it through without you all, and here I am, still in need of all that support.

Getting really excited about my new boy! Now the hard part: finding a name...

Idaho
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31 March 2016 - 1:13 pm
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Where's the "like" button?

Murphy is a five year old Lab/Chessie cross. He was hit by a car on 10/29/12 and became a Tripawd on 11/24/12. On 2/5/13, he had a total hip replacement on his remaining back leg. He has absolutely no idea that he has only three legs!

UPDATE: Murphy lived his life to the fullest, right up until an aggressive bone lesion took him across the Rainbow Bridge on April 9, 2015 and he gained his membership in the April Angels. Run free, my love. You deserve it!

Virginia
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31 March 2016 - 2:28 pm
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Here Kathi, you can use my button.....it's a special thing that is exclusive to tavlet geeks!way-cool

Screenshot_2016-03-31-16-16-14_zpsjofgzqct.jpgImage Enlarger

PS...You have a very special son. Max picked such good humans. And now "puppy bellu/breath" gets to knkw what love feels like too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Idaho
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31 March 2016 - 6:24 pm
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Darn! My tavlet didn't come with one of those.

And Susanna, you are welcome to use Dooley (as in "I've got a guy and I love him truly" tan shoes and pink shoelaces) Dooley. That was supposed to be Gus' name, right up until I saw him crawl out from under the deck and said, "That puppy's name ought to be Gus."

Kathi and the Turbotail April Angel...and the Labradork

Murphy is a five year old Lab/Chessie cross. He was hit by a car on 10/29/12 and became a Tripawd on 11/24/12. On 2/5/13, he had a total hip replacement on his remaining back leg. He has absolutely no idea that he has only three legs!

UPDATE: Murphy lived his life to the fullest, right up until an aggressive bone lesion took him across the Rainbow Bridge on April 9, 2015 and he gained his membership in the April Angels. Run free, my love. You deserve it!

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31 March 2016 - 6:34 pm
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To answer your question about feeling guilt yep I sure did.  I cried on the way home.  Felt like I was cheating on Sassy.  It took me like 5 days to name Snickers and even then I had help doing it.  Her name is SnickersDoodle Bear.  The snickers is my favorite candy bar, doodle came from Karma and Bear after Sassy.

We get it.  We understand why you couldn't come back.  It takes awhile if you can even do it.  Some never do.  Some stay (like me) to continue our furbabies missions.  Mine is to help others.  That was what my girl was about. 

Sally nailed everything she said.  It helps with the hurt and helps us face our memories.  🙂   Pretty soon you will be smiling and laughing and seeing more of Max teaching your baby than the sadness. 

When you get him you have to post pictures we love them

xoxoxox

Michelle & Angel Sassy

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Sassy is a proud member of the Winter Warriors. Live long, & strong Winter Warriors.
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"You aren't doing it TO her, you are doing it FOR her. Give her a chance at life."

Michigan
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31 March 2016 - 7:30 pm
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Sally, as usual, nailed it big time!  She said everything I wanted to say! 

Susannah, you can never replace one dog with another dog, although I do understand how you feel.  They all have their own personalities, their own little quirks that make them unique.  It's obvious that Max sent this little guy to you, to help your heart to heal!  And yes, your son is so right, there really is no place like Tripawds!

Donna

Donna, Glenn & Murphy  http://murphyh......pawds.com/

Murphy had his right front leg amputated due to histiocytic sarcoma at 7 years old.  He survived 4 years, 2 months & 1 week, only to be taken by hemangiosarcoma at 11 1/2 years 6/12/17  

Donna.png

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1 April 2016 - 3:47 am
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jerry said
So sorry to hear about Max. But thank you for letting us know. 

Oh lordy this is what happens when Wyatt Ray hijacks my account while I'm at the AAHA seminars (see today's Tripawds News) and he staffs our exhibit. Doh! Sorry about that but I agree with everyone, you're not replacing Max, you're taking that leap of faith and opening your heart to pure love again. It's exactly what he would want. Can't wait to see the new little one, I can already smell the puppy breath!

It's better to hop on three legs than to limp on four.™
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The Rainbow Bridge

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1 April 2016 - 3:51 am
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susanna said
My 19-year-old son caught me crying last night and asked what was going on. I told him I was on the Tripawds site again, looking for comfort and support. He took a look at the site and said, "Wow. Who knew such a nice place existed on the internet?" It's so true! There's a lot of nastiness out there, but you come to tripawds.com and just breathe a sigh of relief. I don't know how I would have made it through without you all, and here I am, still in need of all that support

Awwww! Give him a big hug from us, what a sweet thing to say. And another hug to you too, you done good Maw.

It's better to hop on three legs than to limp on four.™
Latest Tripawds News
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1 April 2016 - 5:40 pm
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We never replace an angel that has graced our life, but we do find others to fulfill our lives and make us complete.  I lost 2 pups last year and am a new tripawd mom with another as of last week and we are looking forward to a new puppy in about 3 weeks. 

We are not looking to replace our losses but excited in that fact of a new life to bring us joy!  We will never forget any of our angels but we will always add to the group of angels that have come to our lives.

I am excited for your new addition for you enjoy the journey with him smiley

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