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Monty | Page 2 | Coping with Loss

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22 February 2017 - 5:03 am
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I got Gator almost 2 months after losing Otis.  He had been identified as a potential companion for my female, Tess.  And then Tess died the next day.  Since Gator had already been identified, I decided to move forward.  The instant he was in the house, he looked "right."  Other than being a big male (yellow) lab, he looks nothing like Otis or Tess (both black).   The bond is also not the same.  But, he is a good dog.  I am able to vacuum dog hair every weekend, and I do not have to worry about what happens when food falls on the floor.  He does not replace Otis and Tess, but he is a very loving companion who fits perfectly into our house and life.  I decided fairly quickly that having a dog companion was important to me. 

Otis - 106 pound lab/Dane mix, lost his right front leg to osteosarcoma on Febuary 9, 2016.  Four rounds of carboplatin completed in April, 2016.  Lung mets August 25, 2016.  Said goodbye too soon on September 4, 2016.   Lost his adopted sister, Tess, suddenly on October 9, 2016. likely due to hemangiosarcoma.  

Wherever they are, they are together.

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27 February 2017 - 12:29 pm
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Hi "Joolz",

Hoping you're doing better after another 10 days.  I lost my boy 4 months ago, so I'm a bit ahead of you.  From what I've read about Monty and you, Milo and I had a similar end.  You just can't explain to people how fast the end comes.  Like you, we had a chance to spend a last day together, mostly sitting on the back deck in the sun, and taking him for a ride along all of his favorite "walks".  

I know I cried every day for a week or two.  Then I made it a few days without crying.  Then I got a puppy.  The logical side of my brain knew it was too soon.  A puppy couldn't replace Milo.  I knew I should wait.  My husband and I agreed to wait a year.  But logic doesn't always win.  We brought puppy Darcy home 3.5 weeks after we lost Milo.

Hindsight is 20/20 perspective -- part of what makes losing our Tripawds so difficult is the amount of mental, physical, and emotional energy we have wrapped up in them.  Every day revolves around them.  Worrying, feeding, fretting, potty-breaks, soothing.  And when they're gone, it's like hitting a wall.  Where does all that energy go?  Mine went into rethinking my choices, and wondering if I could have found the tumor sooner, and it went into tears.... for 3.5 weeks.  Then it went into puppy Darcy.  House training, feeding, walking, potty-breaks, bonding, and even worrying if she was breathing too fast (yes -- I video taped a 14 week old puppy's breathing.)

I still miss Milo.  I will always miss Milo.  Just like you'll always miss Monty.  Hopefully, as you let new things into your life (new rescue?), or let old things back into your life that had been on hold due to Monty's cancer (long walks and play time with your other dogs, reading, sleeping through the night), you'll find another use for that energy. Maybe then it will quit coming out of your eyeballs as tears.  Now when I walk past pictures of Milo, I smile, tell him I miss him, and ask him to send some lessons to puppy Darcy.  She needs them!     

Sending condolences, and wishing peace and calm for you,

Jenifer & Milo & puppy Darcy

P.S.  Darcy will never be Milo.  But she is Darcy!heart  She's wonderful in her own sassy little girl way.kiss

Virginia
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27 February 2017 - 3:51 pm
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Well said Jennifer. Thank you. That sweet Milo is still touching others tnrough youheart

I had to chuckle as I remembered how worried you were about Darcy's breathing pattern...at FOURTEEN WEEKS!! Yeah, this journey makes us crazy like that!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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