A Pet Loss Grief Class sounds like a wonderful way to honor Raven, and it would help many, many people through such a hard time.

Thinking of you …

-Gwen and Harley

Dawn,

I know how awfully sad and empty you're feeling right now…  I was so depressed after Jake had passed away… I was also very depressed after I had lost my previous 2 german shepherds years earlier. They were my 'children' and I felt that most people didn't understand the grief I was feeling… so I went through it alone each time… well, with the help of my hubby who was also grieving in his way. I think that if there had been some online support group for pet loss then, I may have joined that at the time… I really don't know if dealing with an acute illness and death within days are any more easier than what we have been going through with our cancer babies… dealing with things day to day… knowing what the outcome eventually will be. They were both extremely difficult situations for me. 

The fact that you've already gone through some sort of grief counceling with a professional therapist when you lost your husband… may actually help you deal with things now. As you know… there is no short cut to recovery from your loss. You have to go through all the stages of grief. Some people go them quickly, others need alot more time at the different stages. Everyone is so different.

Please post here whenever you feel the need to vent or cry… We are all here for you… For me, being part of the Tripawds family, and getting all the wonderful support from all of the members from the beginning of Jake's journey… and then afterwards, helped me so much! And posting my experience with Jake to all the newbies here, has been very helpful for me… It makes me feel like Jake is still here in some way… helping others in this very scary journey.

I wish I could give you some great advice, on how to get through this difficult time… but I don't really know myself. All I know is that time does makes things easier… It's only been almost 3 months since I lost my Jake… and I don't cry every single day anymore… but I am still so sad and feel like there is a big hole in my heart… At times, something reminds me of Jake… and then I cry again…

Sending you a big loving hug… I am (we are ) here for you!!!!!

Luv,

Angel Jake's Mom

Ted, your post made me cry in class!  It's a true testament to the power of our puppies and this website.  All our dogs are inspawrations and the people here have a bond for life.  We will never forget our invisible friends, and we will never forget the lessons they have taught us

<3 Laura

Thank you for asking.  I lurk here just about every day.  I smile at all the dogs and sob, it's a roller coaster.  I know it's hard for everyone and most of you all completely understand.  But being single without kids, Raven was my big companion in life, my best friend, I was never alone.  I feel alone now.

I've dreamt about Raven a lot. The "relief" of the hospice and stress has faded and now I just want him back.  It comes in waves, puttering along in my New Normal routines, but the quiet and stillness of everyday life here gets to me. Like the walking wounded, I just push it back and keep trudging, knowing it will improve with time. 

The other day I was doing dishes. He would lay on that spot in front of the sink and I'd tuck my feet in his warm fur. It just hit me, the empty rug, he's missing, never to return, yet it was so vivid, like if I looked down, he'd be there looking up.  Burst into tears.  The dang sirens that go by and I *always* expect his howl, it always made me smile, now it makes me sad, the silence. And going out to do chores and not having him to invite with me, he loved that. 

I hauled my donkey Chili Sunday and when I'd hook up the trailer, Raven would go nuts. He'd circle the truck trying to get in. He'd hide under the middle so I couldn't get him out to take him to the house. Sometimes I'd let him just sit in the truck while I load up and drive it out to the driveway from the pasture. He'd happily sit in that truck in the driveway for hours.  :)  Sunday, I did a reflexive, "gotta keep the truck door closed" so he wouldn't get in (because I couldn't get him out)…and it hit me, no dog.  Anywhere. 

I have my senior rescue bulldog Betty to dote over and cuddle.  She's not very mobile, deaf, and mostly blind in her one remaining eye.  And she had a stroke/brain bleed 3 days after Raven died, so that was scarey.  God had mercy on me and she's recovering well.  She's a warm body in bed at night and her antics make me smile.

Last night in my dream I was hugging him the way I always would.  In it I knew it was a dream, so I was clinging and hugging and saying I Love Tou So Much! Because I knew I would wake up soon and he'd be gone…  In my dreams he's a tripawd and I usually know he shouldn't be around and had died and am sooo happy to see him.  I thread my fingers in his fur and see him gazing at me with the adoration he would express through his almond eyes and his stubby tail wagging.   It's so vivid, he can't be gone from this earth, he just can't.  But I know he is. 

I hope to get involved again in time…  I still want to do a tribute video, but just can't get through it yet.

Thanks for asking,

Dawn