Hi Everyone,

As many of you know, we are finally losing this battle to osteosarcoma and we are nearing the end of our journey. As I type this, I’m fighting my tears as I'm so sad and devastated by this recent turn in events.  Last week, the doctors found a soft tissue mass in her rear leg, fluid in her lungs – the cancer is basically taking over now.  I'm so torn up about this and my heart is just breaking into pieces.  She's been on the decline for these last few days and I really thought we'd be able to have more time than this.  The worst part about this is that she's alert and responsive but her body is shutting down now.  She has lost a lot of mobility in her rear legs (we now have to help her up and down – thank god for the Ruff Harness), she's losing her appetite (she hardly ate anything today) and she's starting to have labored breathing due to the fluid in her lungs.  The irony of all of this is that Mackenzie continues to surprise me in the most unexpected ways.  So for example, yesterday I had a couple of friends come over to see her and when she saw them, she went barreling down the lawn to greet them.  Her rear legs were giving out on her but she was strong enough to make it down this hill with her tail wagging. 

So today, after much contemplation and painful assessment, I called my regular vet and told her about Mackenzie's symptoms (she’s known Mackenzie since she was a puppy.)   She agreed that it's Mackenzie's time.  We decided to do this tomorrow at my house so Mackenzie can be comfortable. Soon after, I called one of Mackenzie's favorite people – her pet sitter.  She came over and Mackenzie surprised me again by getting up on her own and walking over to greet her.  We all spent some time together and Mackenzie was very alert and responsive.  She even finally ate a little something after not eating all day.  This gave me a sense of hope that maybe tomorrow isn’t her time afterall.  In the meantime, I had a call into her oncologist to talk about this and she called me back. Basically told me that because Mackenzie is the kind of dog she is, people person, friendly, pleasing, etc., that she will always show these good moments but it doesn’t mean that she’s feeling better. We’ve basically exhausted everything and it would concern her if we were to prolong this for more than a few days.  She really gave me a clear picture on what Mackenzie’s condition would be and how debilitated she would become if I were to prolong this.  A day, couple of days would probably be ok.   So my husband and I talked and we will be making our final decision in the morning.  As my sister said to me, if you need a day to wrap your head around this than take it.  But just know you’re doing the best, most loving thing you can for her.

 I was writing to get feedback on what I should do….but I think I  know my answer.  I’m not sure it’s tomorrow but I definitely know it’s within these next couple of days.  The most painful part about this is that Mackenzie is still so alert and responsive.  But my ocean girl will finally be set free (but why does that not feel so good right now?)  I’m just so torn up about this.  Thank you everyone for all of your support.  And thank you Rene for sharing your story with me about Jerry.

Kami (Mackenzie’s Mom)

We're glad you posted an update, as you've been on our mind. We are so sorry to hear that the time is almost here. Your description of how Mackensie is acting sounds just like how Spirit Skyler was her last couple of days. If anybody had seen her (and didn't know the history) they would have thought we were nuts to set her free. But in our hearts we knew, as you will know when it is time. Tears are filling my eyes as I write this, as goldens hold (and always will) a special place in my heart. We are sending you many golden hugs. You are in our prayers. Spirit Skyler will look after Mackensie at the bridge, and will show her around.

Cathy/Jane/Spirit Skyler/Chloe

Kami,

I'm so very sorry that you have come to this point in your journey with Mackenzie.  It can be so hard to decide when it's the right time to say goodbye.  Every decision you have made for her has been made with her best interest at heart. It is part of who you are as a pawrent and that won't change.  The problem always seems to be the good day/bad day thing.  On a good day, you can't think about letting her go, on a bad day, you start to come to terms with it, and then there's a good day and well, it all starts over.  I don't have the answer, but you do.  You will know, and it will be right, and we will all be here for you. 

Hugs,

Lisa

I am so saddened to read these words. Mackenzies blog was one of the first I read when Cooper and I began his journey, and I feel Mackenzie and Kami have become true friends in this short time … as Konakais mom said … it is always too soon… that speaks volumes for the love our furfriends have shared with us. I know these words from me are feeble feeble words with no power to help you through the pain of this, but know that we are truly WITH you in this and care and are here for you. Peace be with you and Mackenzie….

Coopsdad

Kami, I am so sorry to read your update, I think everyone here has said it best, you know you are in our thoughts and prayers, Spirit Gus and Dan

Kamii,

 I am so sorry things are at the end for Mackenzie. I no your pain and it is so incredible. We took Ruby to the vet on Friday and we knew our hope was gone but she at that time was still eating so we brought her home and had a few extra days. We also had to get our head around that we would be losing her. I aways wondered when everyone said you will no when the time is right but I wasn't quite sure I would, now I understand, I did. Again I am just so sorry you are that time in your journey, you have been a wonderful pawrent to Mackenzie you will always do the right thing for her.

 My thoughts, tears and prayers are with you.

 Jo Ann & Tasha