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its been a while :(
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Member
Forum Posts: 19
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8 October 2015
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24 February 2017 - 12:53 pm
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hello my tripawd family, its been a while since I posted anything but that doesn't mean I stopped visiting. I love coming here to read the forum and the blogs and just look up advice. I'm so grateful that you exist as so many of my questions have been answered here. its been 1yr and 4months since my baby girl Chloe Sasha had her front leg amputation. That time has been nothing but perfect, she has been so happy and running free like she was born on three legs, ever since the very next day of surgery. Even her vet and vet tech, they were amazed how beautifully she adapted and how beautifully she healed. Unfortunately I got grave news on Jan. 20th. She seemed a little off a few days and started coughing more and more, so I took her in thinking maybe bronchitis or pneumonia but that was not the case. The did chest x-rays and found that she had tumors all in her lungs and an especially large one by her heart. My heart broke to hear the cancer was back and in full avengance with nothing to do but keep her comfortable. I asked how much time do I have and the doc said maybe a few months but we never know. I have been a basket case since that day, nothing takes my mind off my sweet girl leaving me one day. They put her on prednisone and the coughing subsided a bit, but then came back non stop, so they switched her to a shot of corti-steroid. That helped but for only less than two weeks so the doc put her back on the prednisone. She was fine past few days just not as active and wants me to hold her at all times that I'm home. She has continued to eat and drink normally and loves her treats more than ever because I give her ANYTHING she wants. She is being spoiled rotten. But two days ago, I came home from work and found a large blood clot on the floor. I just lost it, I was scared and couldn't not imagine how hard that was for her to cough up, as she is a tiny thing and its was big. Though she was acting fine, but her coughing was pronounce that evening. I called the vet and he said we can't do anything but just accept that the time is near. Yesterday she had a good day, no coughing just a little wheezing and she even wrestled her brother for a quick 1 minute. She seems very happy right now as long as she is in my arms. I am devastated with the new diagnosis. Her 13th birthday is on March 21st and I'm just praying to celebrate. I been searing and searching for grief relief because I can't stop thinking of the inevitable. I am trying to be prepared and trying to make sure I make the right decision at the right time but we all know that its hard to find that right time. She will have a great day today and a bad day tomorrow, what if I say the bad day is when I make the decision but the next day she could of have another great day... see it's a decision that I don't know how I'm going to make. I'm just heartbroken.

Check out Chloe Sasha's Adventures
http://chloesas.....pawds.com/

Los Angeles, CA
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24 February 2017 - 2:55 pm
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First ... (((((HUGSSSSSS))))) sounds like you need a big one! 

I am so sorry you are finding yourself toward the end. It is the worst part of this and the hardest pill to swallow... over-thinking is the worst enemy here (coming from someone who was there and the last weekend was a series of the many stages of grief). I know it sounds cliche, but try and live in the moment. BE more dog. Embrace the gift that is today and try not to think about the next moment in time. 

And love ... love hard, love often and love more!

Sending you love!

alison with spirit shelby in her heart 

Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.

October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014

Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife

Norene, TN
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24 February 2017 - 3:06 pm
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Oh, bless your heart. I can very much relate to all the emotions you're feeling right now. There's a lot of what-if's that quickly evolve into coulda, shoulda, wouldas.

I'm in awe of your sweet girl making it to her 13th birthday and doubly-impressed that the last 16 months have been as a Tripawd.

"You're only as strong as your weakest link." And you, my dear, are the reason she has been living a glorious life of joy.

First; forgive yourself for not being able to cure Chole Shasha's cancer. Secondly; forgive yourself for not being able to cure her mortality.

The hub-a-dub, who lost his entire family to cancer (including Harmony), tells me constantly that I dwell too much on the cessation of life instead of accepting the dance of life. It has a beginning and it has an end, however, it's entirely up to us how joyous the dance is.

So, dance with abandon my friend. Chole Shasha will follow your lead. 

Peace to you and your pack.

heart

Harmony became a Tripawd on 10/21/14 (MCT). She left us way too soon on 11/1/14.

"We miss you so much; our love, our heart, our Harmony."

- Pam, Ron and Melody, Meesha and DoubleStuff

Schofield, WI
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24 February 2017 - 4:21 pm
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Beautifully said Pam and Alison.  I'm so so sorry you have come to this point in your journey!  Just know you have this entire Tripawd nation holding you and your sweet girl in hugs (((())))

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25 February 2017 - 12:34 am
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I'm so sorry to hear the cancer has reached her lungs. I understand the heartbreak.

I had a cat with malignant melanoma and was told it would spread to his lungs. Eventually the only way he could comfortably sleep was with me holding him so then I knew it was time (he slept, I didn't).

Your decision may become obvious if your cutie starts having more bad days in a row than good days. Meanwhile, I think it's time for an early birthday party! Every day could be a bit of a party with fancy food, some treats, decorations, friends and photos.

I wish you some more good days together,

Kerren and Tripawd Kitty Monaheart

Virginia
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25 February 2017 - 10:52 am
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Yes, ditto Pam, Alison, Kerren, Linda! Lots of wisdom shared!

This pjase of the journey is all about good days and less good days. Ups and downs bexou the "normal".From what I'm reading, her "less good" days, or her "down" days, aren't compromising her quality that much. Sure, coughing and being tired aren't necessarily "pleasant", but they are certainly "doable"...especially if it means getting extra treats and spoiling!

Actually, many dogs are prescribed cough medicine and a bronchilator /sp) and that seems to help. Ask your vet, especially about the cough meds.

Similar to Kerren's experience and vor whatever it's worth, when my Happy Hannah wasn't able to sleep (I guess because of the position of the met in her lungs), and even though she wagged happily and never missed a meal, well, that was "her sign". There was no "lifeless look in ner eyes", now horrible "downward spiral" (thankfully). There was just a "knowing" at that point that nothing was reversible and it could only get worse.

NOW though is what you are dealing with and NOW your precious Chloe is doing okay! As hard as it is, DO NOT WASTE ONE SECOND WORRYING ABOUT THE TOMORROW!! Chloe Sasha sure isn't!! LET NOTHING..NOTHING..NOTHING ROB YOU OF YOUR TIME TOGETHER!!! Chloe Sasha sure isn't!!

We hereby declare EVERYDAY A BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION FOR CHLOE SASHA STARTING TODAY!!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 That means you have to get Chloe a scoop of ice cream EVERDAY, as well as toys and tummy rubs and massages, etc!

WE MUST HAVE PICTURES OF HER ADORABLE SELF!!! And we expect to see birthday cakes...a lot of them!!

Lots of love and hugs

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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25 February 2017 - 11:13 am
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Lots of great suggestions. Sally knows how to celebrate so ice cream it isclap followed by a massage. The word Sally was looking for is bronchodilator which opens up the lung passages by relaxing the muscles. I hope today is a good day.heart

The Rainbow Bridge

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25 February 2017 - 12:35 pm
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Oh I'm sorry to hear about Chloe. That is a very tough situation and it's hard not to fall apart, we totally get it.

What Pam said is SO perfect:

... I dwell too much on the cessation of life instead of accepting the dance of life. It has a beginning and it has an end, however, it's entirely up to us how joyous the dance is.

First, know that the only way cancer can "win" is if you allow it to rob you of that joyful dance with Chloe. No matter how long you have together, if you make every moment count, cancer cannot win. There will be plenty of time for tears later. For now, celebrate her birthday today and have fun with that! What a milestone!

When it comes to knowing when it's time to make that last call to the vet, I'll tell ya. Everyone who we've talked to says it's better to feel like you did it a moment too soon than a moment too late. I agree. When it's over, your mind will wonder "What IF she had more time"? But that's just your brain trying to come to terms with your heart. Ask yourself: how do you want to remember her? 

Try to be strong. Dance with Chloe until your gut instinct says it's time, and save the tears for tomorrow. And lean on us, we're here for you. I'm so sorry.

It's better to hop on three legs than to limp on four.™
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