I read crumbscraping's moving post about Onyx.  We are in almost the same situation, except that we haven't scheduled the final visit for euthanasia yet.  We will probably call later today, an set up an appointment for tomorrow, Friday, or if we think it isn't too late, for Saturday.

Lucy did start showing some signs of decline around December 1, but I thought she just had a gastro bug.  She would still run, run, run each day when we would bring her to the local schoolyard after all the children left. Lucy ran like the wind--even after her amputation (front left).  But she started to get up later each day. Then, last weekend, it seemed like a notable decline in energy. Tuesday the vet took x rays and saw significant fluid in her lungs--she tapped a liter from our poor dog. That afternoon we went for about a 3/4 of a block walk--likely her last one--and she seemed pretty good at first. But by evening she was again lethargic. Wednesday we went in again to the vet and she had some more fluid tapped. The doctor wanted to start her on Palladia as a last ditch measure--I took it home but haven't given her any because it seemed as if now we would be prolonging the life but not our Lucy's active spirit.  We did give her some prednisolone and gabapentin, and that seemed to help her yesterday and last night--she even came into our dining room to beg a piece of walleye at dinner last night!  But today they don't seem to help in the same way,

What has complicated things is that we have to leave Sunday for Christmas in another state where my 92 year old father is not doing so well either, so no chance of cancelling that trip. We cancelled her stary  at her usual kennel, and made one to board her at the vet instead.  But Lucy was miserable when she had to stay there before--frightened and anxious.  Faced with the prospect of having her stay there in such a state for four days, when we might just have to say good bye soon afterward--or worse, that she might die or be euthanized when we were still out of town and not with her--we have come to the conclusion that it is better to say good bye now.  Oh, but it is such a painful decision, as you all know.

She went outside twice this morning briefly, but since about 11 AM (2 PM here now) she has just lain on her bed in our living room; she can look out a big window there, and I have an armchair right next to her.  Mainly though she s just curled up, sleeping. Lucy slept with my 20 year old stepdaughter last night, home from college; tomorrow she leaves with her mother, so today was the last time they will see each other.  They are very close too.

It has been 11 months since her diagnosis, and 10.5 months since her amputation--with a round and a half of chemo as well, last spring and then this summer.  How silly it is that I wanted her to get to a full year--February 1--just so we could say she was in that 50% who made it that far!  But in truth we wanted her for years more of course.  She is probably about 8.75 years old; she was a rescue of somewhat over 4 years of age when we got her in July of 2013.  So we will have had her love and companionship for just shy of 4.5 years. Not enough, not by a long shot.  What a beautiful, fast, brave and loving dog Lucy is.