Uggg, this is a tough one.  First of all, I am SO sorry about your sweet baby.  Those of us here know exactly what you are going through, unfortunately.  For me, personally, I knew it was "time" when Eddy struggled to get up, and when he did stand up, he would suddenly fall again.  He had undergone an amputation, 3 rounds of carboplatin, 2 rounds of doxorubicin, and his lung mets were increasing.  He still had over 70% lung capacity and he was not coughing or anything yet, but I KNEW when I came home and he was right where I had left him and not waiting by the door as usual.  I KNEW when he stopped following me up the stairs.  I KNEW when he stopped following me around the house on a daily basis.  All of these led me to KNOW it was time.  

I brought him back to the oncologist.  It was a Monday, and we had just had a really positive vet check the previous Friday.  However, over that weekend, he had a seizure and had developed a fever.  He was beginning to lose his battle with OSA.  The doctor told us he was fighting too many things...it was getting to be "time".  Ironically, the day we brought him in for his last vet visit, he perked up and was alert, wagging his tail...  I questioned the vet about this.  Was I doing the right thing?  How on earth can I be the one to take my beautiful boy out of my life?  She calmly told me that truly any point after diagnosis is the "right time."  She said she thought Eddy was ready.  The fact that he couldn't walk well, that he struggled to get up....those were all signs.  That was the hardest day of my life thus far.  But, I know in my heart he was not going to get better.  It was going to be all downhill from this point on.  I am glad that he left this world with his tail still wagging.  I am glad he was still able to lift his head and look at my son, my daughter, my husband and me as we stood around him that day.  He left this world KNOWING he was loved.  I hope this helps in some such way.  I am so sorry for you and what you are going through.  Please know you are in my thoughts.  God Bless!  ~Betsy

It's impossible to really know when it's time to say farewell. I found this Quality of Life Scale for Dogs. My husband and I used it to help make an objective decision whether to euthanize or amputate. It helped us see where Blaze was having the most difficulty. It helped us figure out if amputation would improve his quality of life or simply extend his agony. 

I plan to use this objective measure to help me make other difficult decisions. Perhaps it will help you too.

mary and Blaze

http://www.paws.....eScale.pdf

This decision is oh so hard. My girls would come and visit and tell me it was time. BUT they were not the ones nursing him. They were not the ones taking him to the vet. I held on. For me, I think that after all I put him through to beat the MRSA , I felt that I did not want that to be for nothing. I wanted more time. When his fever raged again, I took him to the vet. He mentioned a few things that we could try. Fluids, bloodwork etc. I felt that we would be delaying the inevitable. The fact that he yelped in pain when I had put him into the car to go helped cement the decision. Did not help the guilt after though. What if fluids would have helped, what if , what if? I look back now and see all the red sad faces that I had put on the calendar for bad days and I feel guilt over that also. Seems that no matter what, our minds will play games with us. I could not get him to eat, drink water or get up. It certainly would have been an easier decision still if the vet would have just said it was time. The comfort I have now is he is no longer in pain of suffering and I held him in my arms long after he was gone from this world. I will hold him in my heart forever. I guess I am just rambling to tell you I understand. Thoughts are with you, I am sorry you are at this place, Lori, Ty and gang

Forgive my tardiness to this discussion, but I just wanted to add a few things to what's already been said.

I too hated the statement, "They'll let you know," but after Harmony left this plane I soon realized it wasn't her letting me know so much as it was me listening.  I was either looking too hard or too upset to see what she really was saying.

I knew we would need to make a logical, emotionless decision on her behalf. But, my own emotions kept me in a human frame of mind. I spent too much time berating myself for being selfish. I spent too much time being guilt ridden of events that truly weren't of my doing. In the end, I felt Harmony saw my torment and made the decision herself. To her, it was no big deal. We're born. We die. This is a lesson the hub-a-dub tries to teach me all the time, but there's just something so deep down inside that just can't accept this logic. I think it's hope. But fur-babies have no concept of hope. It's both a human attribute and a curse.

As I sat by Harmony's side on the living room floor, she took her last breath. I realized at that very moment, that I spent too much time worrying instead of living and loving in her doggy moment. This is the guilt I carry today; not that I made the wrong decision(s).

My advice to anyone having to make these kinds of decisions is to try and stay centered. If you have to, look in the mirror and have a "Come to Jesus" meeting with yourself. Lean on your family, your friends, and your Tripawd buddies.

The hub-a-dub, who worked with animals on a farm, told me animals know when their time is near and will instinctively try to run off to die rather than stay with the pack (or herd). Shortly before Harmony's passing, she tried to hobble away from us which broke our hearts because we knew the time was near. She was "speaking" to us, and we listened.

I read somewhere in this thread a quote that I very much like. "Anytime after diagnosis is the right time." I would add, any decision, anytime after diagnosis is right.

I sure miss her so much.

pam